Hey, aw, this is sweet, right? Neither of these folks, Nadine (more) or Alex (more), are strangers to this corner of the Internet’s Wild West, but Nadine sent in these shots of the happy pair sporting a damn ocean’s worth of ink by our old friend Marc (with photos by Marc as well), and you know what? They were too damn cute to pass up. Everyone understands, right? Right. After the jump, some sound advice, in the form of a tattoo, etc.

Oh hey, it’s Primitive, hanging out in Germany, taking a jaunty stroll! He’s a happy gent, that one, but why the big grin? Probably something to do with the fact that he’s covered in good stuff from the magicians at Swastika Freakshop in Radolfzell, Germany. After the jump, check out a close-up of his neck piece, as tattooed by Marc, with whom I think you’re familiar by now.

The last time we checked in with the Christmas Kraken, he was looking a little bare, no? Well, Marc sure as hell took care of that. This is stunning. Close-ups, after the jump.

This horrific, poop-covered beautiful landscape shot featuring Mike hanging, indeed, from two hooks in his calf, comes of courtesy of the wizards at Swastika Freakshop in Radolfzell, Germany, who literally cannot get out of goddamned bed without creating something visually stunning.

You know what? Fine. Marc may be an incredibly talented tattooer, and his design ideas may be among the most inventive in the industry, and he may be one of the most instantly recognizable artists out there. But you know what he can’t win? A race around the world! And … go!

[falls down open sewer]

God damn it.

Huh. You know, I usually just use a rolled-up newspaper or a wet towel when I want to swat at an angel, but hey, to each his own.

Hey everybody, it’s the Christmas Kraken, popping in to offer some holiday advice! Take it away!

“Hi, folks — Christmas Kraken here. It’s the holiday season, and with all sorts of parties and get-togethers going on, it’s best that people be careful out there. If you’re drinking, please don’t drive, and if you’re driving, please make the change to Goodyear Snow Tires. Also, if you’re planning on attacking a ship and dragging every soul on board down to a watery grave, I’d recommend hitting the sails first. Holes in the body of a ship can take a while to fill with water, but nothing ruins a mariner’s day like getting his sails torn off.”

Thanks, Christmas Kraken! Merry Christmas!