Before and After

Elliot writes, “I’m what my (legally mandatory) psychologist would call a transsexual. I got an official diagnosis and everything — gender identity disorder! Certificate of disorder in hand, Dr. ***** was convinced I was a real transsexual. Little did he know I’m actually a bisexual-tranny-fag-dyke genderfucked kid! And now I’ve got my own little fuck-you-gender/sex-binary body!”

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About Shannon Larratt

Shannon Larratt is the founder of BME (1994) and its former editor and publisher. After a four year hiatus between 2008 and 2012, Shannon is back adding his commentary to ModBlog. It should be noted that any comments in these entries are the opinion of Shannon Larratt and may or may not be shared by LLC or the other staff or members of BME. Entry text Copyright © Shannon Larratt. Reproduced under license by LLC. Pictures may be copyright to their respective owners. You can also find Shannon at Zentastic or on Facebook.

100 thoughts on “Before and After

  1. i love the facial expressions! you look like one fun ‘bisexual-tranny-fag-dyke genderfucked kid’ :D

  2. ugh. chest reconstruction is very painful. my friend’s partner just got his chest reconstructed as phase 3 of his genger change. it looks amasing but he said it was excruciating.

    more power to him. looks well done :)

    ::thumbs up::

  3. It looks fake because that’s scarring and nipple re-alignment. Looks real to me. Grats on the new (and nice looking) chest!

  4. holy crap! that’s one of the best looking chest surgery results i’ve ever seen. awesome

  5. “And now I’ve got my own little fuck-you-gender/sex-binary body!”
    Love the attitude! And the results are looking great and the facial expressions are gold.

  6. I really really really want to be his friend. haha. I want to go around tricking people about gender with him. what fun.

  7. Hang on, I’m confused. Was this dude born a boy or a girl?

    I’m guessing a girl, but there’s a lot of belly hair ^_^

  8. Hang on, I’m confused. Was this dude born a boy or a girl?


    I’m guessing a girl, but there’s a lot of belly hair ^_^

    Possibly an effect of taking testosterone.

  9. Harleykim and TrinityVA Dude was born with girl parts. Yes the belly hair was probably testosterone induced.

  10. 16: Yeah, that’s what I meant… I didn’t want to get into “born with girl parts” because some people feel that “girl parts” would refer not to, say, a vagina and vulva but rather to any parts belonging to someone who identifies as a girl. So I went with “female” as a marker of sex. *shrug*

  11. I wish I had her/his (not sure what they want to be refered to?) before tatas. What a nice rack.

  12. what a hottie! though i wish there was a boob charity for those who didn’t want them, because it seems like a waste of a lovely pair. i coulda used em…

  13. I second the boob-charity idea!
    So I gotta ask, how exactly do you go about realigning nipples?

  14. hi elliot, didn’t expect to find you here.
    (and for those wondering, this is definitely real, i know the kid)

  15. yay Elliot! *cheer* what a great attitude, look at that happy little smirk in the second photo! so glad that you’re getting you body to the way you want it to be – what a fabulous looking reconstruction!

  16. Oh my God, sae. You seriously never told me you had a hot bisexual-tranny-fag-dyke genderfucked friend. Hook me up!


    Also love the smirk.

    Let’s kiss. :-D

  17. The result looks great! Looking forward to mine, but I’m just a plain ol’ ftm transsexual ;)

  18. #4: While I’m sure it’s painful, having breasts implanted is probably a lot more painful than having it removed because of all the pressure put on the skin.
    Regardless, will those scars go away? Or does this genderfucked kid like ‘em? :]
    Also, I’d kill for those breasts. >.>

  19. Huzzah for genderfucked kids! ^___^
    I plan on keeping my lady parts, but gender-blurring is quite sexy.

  20. #28 – the scars usually fade, and as they’re placed kind of following the lower side of pectoral muscles they can often end up almost hidden or even making the pecs look bigger as it eccentuates the shape of them.

    That said, some people have quite visible chest scars all the way and love them – I dare assume this genderfucker would too!

  21. “I’m actually a bisexual-tranny-fag-dyke genderfucked kid!”


    however.. well done dud…ehmm gir… hmmm
    well done, that’s all.

  22. that is, by far, the absolute best chest reconstruction i’ve ever seen! there’s no weird dents or odd bulges – it looks like a perfect chest. i really hope you are happy with the results and healing goes/went well – you look phenomenal!

  23. Lookin good with the chest! I am hoping to do mine within a year now, just need some funds. I’d also say the belly fuzz is due to having a script for ‘T’, as hair will change according to cues from hormones.

  24. #34, it would probably be “much easier” for you to not pretend you have the first idea about a transperson’s needs.

  25. Max Brand, I find your comment baffling on a site like BME, and a bit insulting.

    It would have been easier for me to be a girl and get over it, except I would have been living a lie and would never have been happy. Yeah, the hormone treatment, surgeries, abuse I face from people, it’s all worth it when I look in the mirror and see the man I always knew I was inside. I don’t think anyone takes on gender related surgery without really needing to!

  26. come on bria, i live in santa cruz, you gotta expect that shit outta my life these days =D
    plus, im me

  27. aww, i liked his boobies though…but, if your happy then good for you!

    max, i don’t even know if there is much i can say for that kind of stupid.

  28. I love the facial expression in that first photo!!

    I’m glad you’re happy :-)

    Yeah Max…what the hell?

  29. That’s very nice work. The nipple realignment (and resizing, if I’m not mistaken?) is also very good work; I’ve seen some truely botched examples in the past. The hormones are also doing nicely, with an interesting time lapse between the two images. Congrats.

  30. FUCK YES DUDE! congrats!!!! love the caption toooo! soo good. you is lookin miiiiiiighty fine :)!

    ps: call me

    as for others – how is it EVER APPROPRIATE to ask people such personal questions about their genitals?? who the fuck care sif yre confused, kee it to yrself.

  31. 52: I really don´t udnerstand what you are saying? Is both psychology (as a science) and gender identity (as a human trait) “fucked”? What does that even mean?

  32. *groan* I don’t have a problem with people being whatever gender or combination thereof they feel is right for them, but when you make up these polysyllabic titles like it makes you some kind of awesome person, that’s kind of wanky.

  33. Yay! It looks gorgeous, and what a fucking fabulous attitude!

    Although I’m shocked by some of the attitudes that are being expressed here… let’s keep it positive, y’know?

  34. Screw the boobs, go with the mohawk!

    Seriously, congrats, it looks gorgeous. Top scars are so sexy…

  35. Yay Elliot, you look great!

    If I had good health and the money needed for top surgery, I would have it in a shot.

  36. i heard this awesome interview on This American Life with a F2M tranny (you can prolly podcast it) and it was kind of funny because he was talking about how he used to be this edgy butch dyke that would read edgy poems in coffee shops about fucking chicks and stuff like that, but then once he became a dude, he was basically just a misogynist

  37. hot before and after! so glad you are now comfortable in your own skin!

  38. Wow it looks great. Im really immpressed. The chest is gonna look even better when its healed. I seen some healed F2M chests and you cant even see the scarrs once its healed and couldnt tell that the chest was once female. But the rack Elliot had was great as well. I totally wish boobs could be donated to extremely flat chested women like me. I have honestly never seen natural boobs on a lady that are as small as mine. If there was a way to get fat implanted in my boobs then I totally would. I just dont like the idea of having bags of saline in my chest. I want the real thing which is more fat for my rack! Haha! My chest is so bony that I dont even know if it can hold dermal anchors.

  39. #34: Wouldn’t it just be easier to shoot yourself in the head and get your miserable, prejudiced life over with?

    I would say sorry for being nasty, but I am not. Close-minded people who comment on things they know nothing about annoys the fuck outta me.

    sae: Yes, but as I said, hot was the key omission.

    Again, let’s kiss.

  40. That the wide majority of the above comments are positive and accepting makes me proud to be a long-time devotee of modblog (as a genderfucker myself). awesome.

  41. #50 – To transpeople wanting to be who they are inside comes with the price of convincing a psychologist to get the stupid letter of recomendation for hormones, surgeries, etc. This means that a transperson has spend their life trying to get to the point of transition, and then they have to often spend a lot of money on psychologists appointments to get “permission” to continue to be who they are. If he walked in, and said I’m a “bisexual-tranny-fag-dyke genderfucked kid” or the psych was picky and even thought they weren’t 100% serious, then the hormones and surgery could easily be denied. Some psychologists today are more relaxed about it, but I know quite a few the stick to the very strict restrictions of the HBSOC guidelines, causing some people to face years of therapy with promises of eventual surgery that never happens. I am going thru the same processes with money being the only thing holding me back right now thankfully, but when they thought I may have cancer and it was even recommended by my oncologist to have a hyst/oph surgey – I had two doctors refuse because of my gender expression – the doctors both wrote refused due to GID – causing me to transfer hospitals ti find a young doctor that would do my nessesary surgery which was covered by insurance no less.

  42. #50, because psychologists have very narrow, twisted views of gender, it’s identity and expression, and how that should be mirrored on a transperson. There are some psychs out there who wouldn’t believe in a trans patient if the patient didn’t want a husband, three kids, wearing dresses and makeup, or a wife, muscles, male-pattern baldness, and snakeskin boots to go with their beard. Such views were a lot more common in the past, in the fifties and even in the 80′s.
    Now a-days that view is less common, but since doctors are not taught or trained about trans-issues in medical school, non-specialists can refer to older texts and their own biases of what men and women “do”, thus trying to explain how someone feels “inbetween”, or totally beyond two pre-determined genders can be confusing. Since all treatment hinges on the psych’s OK, it’s really common for transsexuals to omit parts of their identity that are less socially accepted and understood [which is the psych's loss], or even not discuss their doubts [which is a bad thing.]

    In short, science doesn’t have better modifiers for one’s precise gender identity [I see you, 55;] and society doesn’t yet culturally understand anything other than longhair+dress=woman, shorthair+pants=man. Even if we can understand tomboys and butch lesbians, or sensitive men and flaming fags, trannies aren’t given the same leeway [if one behaves femininely, then why can't one be comfortable as a female, I guess. Being such an incorrigible faggot, I worry about having to answer that to some power-tripping know-it-all psych.]

    enough of my blahblahblah. That turned out nicely!

  43. dear elliot: you’re hella cute, look weirdly familiar, and i used to have a nearly identical mohawk (gave in to cold weather and grew some hair back!). hmm, maybe that’s why you look familiar, you’re wearing my hair!

    anywho…walk around without a shirt on extra for me and all the other genderfucked people who are keeping their boobies and therefore aren’t allowed to, eh?

  44. First off: Before and after pics: both = HOT! :)

    Really though, what the fuck does “bisexual-tranny-fag-dyke genderfucked kid” mean???? Either you are straight or gay or bi. If you feel you need to change genders, go for it. But after you change genders you are still either straight or gay or bi. So what the hell does “genderfucked” mean?!?!?

  45. Chinaman9, you’re getting gender and sexuality confused in this context. “Genderfucked” is essentially a dysphemism for transgendered and other variations of ‘gender expression’. It means that you’re not identifying as *just* a female or a male, that you are maybe identifying as somewhere in between, or a combination of both…or neither.
    And gender is now commonly understood to be something different from sexuality, so the labels used to explain who a person fucks (gay, bi etc.) really say nothing about a person’s gender expression.
    It can be complex to grasp when you haven’t been through it, or exposed to it, yourself. And I’m certainly not wanting to patronise you, but it really would be worthwhile for you to do a bit of research into what ‘gender’ actually means, because it’s pretty interesting!

  46. these pictures are amazing. I wish I had the courage to come out and do that.

  47. Ahh… Too many big words.. Modblog people are too linguistic for me this time of night… Great job with the reconstruction though, I’ve seen alot of things on Oprah and Dr Phil (don’t judge lol I get bored on my days off work) about people doing a whole gender reconstruction and they all seem incredibly happier with the end result XD

  48. Wow, I’m really loving the rejection of categories/labels and the embracing of gender chaos and pansexuality here. Rock on Elliot!

  49. YYYYujuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
    congrats for ur new chest baby!
    …i love that smile in the 2photo

  50. #69:

    There are places between gay, bi, and straight. And there are places between male and female. Maybe things are clear for you, and you feel comfortable in those socially-endorsed binaries, but I certainly don’t, and neither does this person.

    Go team genderfucked!

  51. lookin’ good, yo
    i have to admit i like the tits more just because TITS, but on the other hand i think the flatter chest totally suits you. rock on.

  52. those tits were pretty darn nice …shame they cant be transplanted!

  53. haha!…..right…..we are all fucked in the head, I just know how to control my urges….some people realize that not every idea your mind comes up with is a good one….

    I was born to be rich, but there isn’t a surgery I can get for that….so I guess I’ll just have to get over it and get on with my life….

  54. way to go max, now you look like a bigger idiot.
    why did you use your lovely control of urges to prevent yourself from getting tattooed since that’s not “natural”
    go find some dark hole to crawl into and stay there

  55. Awesome, dude.
    I hope my chest surgery comes out as gorgeous as yours, you look super hot in both genders. XD
    And max, honey, quit while you’re only a regular idiot instead of a giant one.

  56. um….well, we all wear clothes, and that’s pretty unnatural…..duh….I never said there was anything wrong with altering your body…..I just don’t think it’s a good idea to alter your body because contemporary gender stereotypes take over your mind and your thought process…..

  57. Max, you are quite possibly one of the most ignorant people I’ve seen on modblog. How do you believe you’re in any position to speak to whether or not Elliots gender idenity is “contemporary” (which, judging by by your moronic comments beforehand, probably means “trendy” in your vocabulary) or something he truely needs to be comfortable with? As someone has trans family members, ex’s & close friends, you should realize they are only playing on the same right we ask of people who look at us modified people oddly; to be accepted for their choices & loved for who they are.

    Elliot, the surgery looks amazing. You seem so happy in both pictures & I share your happiness. <3

  58. This is amazing!
    I myself am Genderqueer
    as in i feel like i am neither male or female
    I wish to remove my breasts like this but keep my feminine lower parts
    it is the whole idea of there not just being two genders (male and female) but actually a third or more gender

  59. Elliot,
    Conratulations! Here’s wishing you many years of health and joy in your new body.

  60. sorry….having an opinion doesn’t make me ignorant. And contemporary doesn’t mean trendy, it’s just something that occurs in the present time…..but I guess big words aren’t for everyone….and anyone that changes the appearance of their body does not love who they are, they love who they have become, or who they made themselves into….jeez…..don’t you have any mods….you should know this….

  61. I disagree with you on that one, Max. All my mods are my means to the end of becoming on the outside more like the person I am on the inside. So I do love who I am, and I wish to express this by adorning/altering certain parts of my physical body to “match” the person inside my head. :)
    Nothing like as extreme as this brave (and hot!) individual, though. Personally I adore being female, but it’s a very admirable thing to do to actually change your body to such extreme and painful lengths to become who you really are. Max, honey, take a look at some gender theory and that may confuse you just enough to open your mind a little.
    Kudos Elliott! You’re looking mighty fine, you cute little queer. :)

  62. why can’t you donate tits if you don’t want them? i’d gladly take those anyday!

  63. Haha, you seem awesome so I guess I can forgive you for getting rid of a pair of perfectly good tits!

  64. Pingback: BOINKOLOGY | Because Gender Fucking Is Just Another Body Mod

  65. #60: That describes more than one of the FTM guys I know. I know some really sweet transmen, and I know some real dicks.

  66. It’s a pity that total FTM transformations aren’t exactly as “perfect” and realistic as MTF tend to be. Sure, you can pass off as a male on a superficial level, but there’s no real FTM penis equivalent. A functional one, anyway. I realize that there are hormones for clitoral enlargement, and certain implants – but I’ve never seen an enlarged clitoris that could have passed in performance or appearance for a penis, and certainly not an ever-rigid implant. The MTF vulva typically looks pretty realistic, and I’ve read accounts that, with a little help, it can also pass for a vagina in touch.

  67. Aw man, congratulations on the surgery – you look fantastic! The surgeon really did a first class job and I absolutely adore your attitude about it.

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