Full Coverage: Links From All Over (July 16, 2009)




Photo: FERRARI PRESS

[Telegraph.co.uk] As time progresses, it’s no secret that body modification is becoming more and more accepted by the public at large. This is not without its pitfalls, of course; as more people engage in these acts, some feel the culture becomes more diluted and perhaps not quite as meaningful or special. Whether or not one agrees with this sentiment, it’s by no means an invalid concern, but a larger percentage of people taking an active interest in body modification seems to be one of the trade-offs of having it become more acceptable across society. And, even if one isn’t thrilled by the prospect of a widespread commodification of body modification, it stands to reason that, at the very least, it should be seen as a largely positive thing when it’s normalized to the point that the “freak-show” element is, for the most part, a non-issue.

And then some moron like this comes along and, like every Tyler Perry movie, sets the group back a few hundred years.

Hey, meet 39-year-old Gavin Paslow, a.k.a Diablo Delenfer, which means, “devil from the inferno.” Fun! He was a security guard, but then he defrauded the government for thousands of pounds to receive health benefits that he then in turn used to pay for body modification procedures (implants, tongue splitting, etc.) to make him look like the devil, and now he is a schmuck convict living on house arrest and doing nothing to combat the image of our fair community as Satan-worshipping criminals. Yay.

He took the money while working variously for a security company, two separate recruitment firms and as a self employed guard

The wannabe demon, of Seasalter, near Whitstable, Kent, was this week banned from leaving his house at night – after being slapped with a curfew from 5pm to 5am every day. He was also fitted with an electronic tag.

Prosecutor Mark Hutchings told Cantebury Magistrates Court how Paslow had stolen cash to fund medical procedures.

He pleaded guilty to seven offences of failing to promptly notify the Department for Work and Pensions of a change in circumstance that he knew would affect his benefit claims.

[...]

JPs heard Delenfer defrauded a total of £3552.98 of benefits including £322.92 of housing benefit, £110.61 of council tax benefit and £3119.45 of income support between 28 September 2007 and 29 September 2008.

Look, we here at BME have no problem whatsoever with Satan, nor with people who choose to look like him in some manner, as long as such goals are achieved using one’s own funds. That is to say, feel free to get yer devil on, but try not to steal in order to pay for the necessary procedures, got it, you goof?

Speaking outside court said: “Obviously, there aren’t many people who look like me and some might be a bit taken aback,” he said.

“But other people realise I’m an almost normal human being in other ways and the kids love it,” he said.

Ha ha, because Satan is for the children, you see. Step aside, Wu-Tang!

[BILD] And it is not just devil doppelgangers corrupting our delightful youth, either! Famous soccer person David Beckham, also known for getting all tattooed up like the dark lord himself, is setting a terrible example for his children, who now also want to grow up to be Wiccans or whatever.

David Beckham’s sons are desperate to get tattoos like him. The British soccer star – who has boys Brooklyn (10), Romeo (6) and four-year-old Cruz with wife Victoria Beckham – has revealed his children are so impressed with his body art they are keen to copy it. He said: “One of them said to me recently, ‘How old do I have to be before I get my first tattoo?’ I was like, ‘A lot older than you are now!’”

Apparently Becks hasn’t heard of reverse psychology! Now his kids are doomed, doomed, and it is all his fault. May as well just sign ‘em over to the LaVey estate and be done with it. Tell them to keep an eye on their wallets, though; that new security guard over there has some sticky fingers.

BME Shop is holding a 20-percent-off sale on most items until midnight tonight! Click here for details.


Full Coverage: Links From All Over (June 11, 2009)

[Shutdown Corner] Well, here’s the biggest tattoo-related non-story of the day. Chad Ochocinco, the Cincinnati Bengals safety formerly known as Chad Johnson, is, for those unfamiliar with the NFL, one of the bigger clowns in the league. (See: Legally changing his last name to a mangled Spanish translation of his jersey number.) Anyway! Mr. Ochocinco, like so many athletes, has wandered into the land of Twitteronia, and made this startling announcement yesterday:

Yall might not believe me but my tatoo guy is here and i getting my face done, looks cool to, dont be mad just accept the Ocho please

The tattoo, as you can see, is of America’s wang, the state of Florida. Has your world been turned upside down? Well, keep your head on, folks: It was just a gag! Yep, this prankster just had someone Photoshop a smudge onto his mug. Ha ha, hilarious…?

The entire twitt world and media outlets got punked, that was my twitt joke from yesterday, they follow I’ll have fun with it.

My grandma would kill me if I had damn facial tatts!!! Fun while it lasted, back to normal, I felt different to.

In conclusion, you are never getting those five minutes or wasted brain cells back.

[The Globe and Mail] Whoa ho, what’s this? Actual good legal news about tattoos? It is! Nadine Bélisle, a daycare worker in Quebec, has been embroiled in a legal battle for five years now over whether or not she should be allowed to display the tattoo on her shoulder while on the job. Well, the results are in, and a Quebec Superior Court judge has decided that the policy that forced her to cover up was, in fact, a violation of her rights. Hot damn.

“Five years of frustrations have collapsed. I’m thrilled,” Ms. Bélisle, 35, said in an interview yesterday from her home in Saguenay. “This is a question of human rights, of freedom of expression.”

The May 27 ruling brings legal heft to the murky question of what’s appropriate to wear in the workplace, at a time of relaxing attitudes to dress codes. While body piercings and dressing down seem to be gaining acceptance, there are signs that more employers are drawing the line. This week, University of Montreal hospitals adopted dress codes for employees that prohibit jeans, short skirts and tattoos deemed to be in bad taste.

For Ms. Bélisle’s union, the visible-tattoo ban by the CPE La Pirouette, one of Quebec’s publicly funded daycares, went too far.

“Publicly funded” being the operative term there, I believe. I’m not sure whether or not this sort of ruling would apply to private businesses, and whether or not private enterprises should be beholden to the same standards of personnel decisions as public businesses is another matter altogether. As far as this case is concerned, the daycare’s position was that, while some tattoos are surely inoffensive, some may not be appropriate for the environment, and so a blanket ban was, for them, preferable to having to decide what was acceptable on a case-by-case basis. The ban, however, was determined to be prejudicial in nature, and that while violent or vulgar tattoos will still have to be covered, the majority will be free for display:

“Tattooing nowadays is a phenomenon that cuts across all levels of society,” [Judge Jean Bouchard] wrote. “If it was once associated with delinquents, that’s no longer the case.”

The daycare’s policy forced an employee with a tattoo of a butterfly or flower on her forearm or calf to wear pants or a long-sleeved shirt, even while working under a hot summertime sun, he wrote.

“This is, in the opinion of the court, ridiculous and outrageous.”

The daycare will still have the right to prohibit inappropriate tattoos including those expressing violence.

And that, well, that’s a fine precedent to set.

[Jason Dunn] And finally, Jason Dunn, a techie fella from Calgary, was vacationing in Japan when he came across this tattoo studio, bearing what he thinks may just be the worst (or at least the funniest) name for a tattoo studio possible. Oh, comical translations. We’ll let FailBlog decide.

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (June 9, 2009)

[Goldcoast] As we’ve discussed in the past, henna is, above most other things, an insidious plot by any number of shadowy poison syndicates to horrifically mangle and mutilate your young children. Don’t believe it? Well listen, then, to the tale of young Cannon Cribb:

The five-year-old recently returned from Bali where locals painted a dragon on his arm with what his parents now realise was a substance containing para-phenylenediamine (PPD).

All was fine until the tattoo wore off completely and the entire area welted into the shape of the original image, some two weeks after it was first put on.

The family now fear Cannon will be left with a life-long scar.

First of all, this kid’s name is Cannon. How awesome is that? Even money that he’s already the most popular in his class just because of that, and now he’s got a dragon on his arm? Look, it’s terrible in a lot of ways and something clearly has to be done about the shitbags who keep using this low-grade junk (it’s actually the additive PPD and not henna itself that causes this reaction, and the boy’s mother makes a very valid point: “‘What if a little girl got a butterfly on her face?”), but holy crap this kid is going to get so much ass. I mean, not as a five-year-old. Oh, God, no. We don’t support that. Plus, it’s not really physiologically possible. Hopefully. Who knows what kinda mutant hormones they’re draining into milk these days.

[Showbiz Spy] So hey, here is a very important article about popular sex actress Megan Fox, who, as it turns out, is just like everyone else out there who was mildly overbearing parents! Megan was all, “Hey I want to get tattooed,” and her mom was all, “But you’re so pretty already,” and Megan was all, “But I really really want a sleeve,” and her mom was all, “There’ll be none of that under my roof, young lady,” and Megan was all, “I’M A GROWN WOMAN I CAN DO WHAT I WANT,” and her mom was all, “RAAAAAAR NO YOU WON’T, NOW EAT YOUR BRUSSELS SPROUTS,” and so Megan ran to her room and slammed the door and cried herself to sleep, the end.

Megan Fox’s mother, Darlene, hates it when her superstar daughter gets a new tattoo.

Darlene is apparently furious at the Transformers star’s plans to cover her entire right arm in a tattoo “sleeve.”

“Her mom has never understood why her daughter would want to cover her gorgeous body with tattoos,” said an insider. “After each new tattoo, Darlene pleaded with Megan not to get more.

“Darlene believes that when Megan is a 40-year-old woman wanting to play more mature roles, people won’t want to hire her because it will be too hard to cover her tattoos.”

God it must really suck to be Megan Fox these days.

[NBA FanHouse] And finally, in celebration of tonight’s game three of everyone’s favorite NBA Finals between the Lakers and Magic, here is another heartbreaking tale of authoritarian power trying to limit the expression of tattooed people, except instead of parents it’s a multi-billion dollar clothing company, and instead of Megan Fox it’s a seven-foot-tall Polish man. Practically the same thing. Anyway, Marcin Gortat, back-up center for Orlando, has been a pleasant surprise for anybody betting on the Magic these playoffs, but apparently his sponsor, Reebok, is none too pleased with the way he’s chosen to adorn himself with terrible inky idolatry:

[Gortat] received an uncomfortable phone call last weekend from Reebok, with whom he has a shoe contract. Representatives of the company were not happy to see a picture of him from Game 1 in a Polish newspaper that prominently displayed his Michael Jordan/Nike logo tattoo on his lower right leg.

Reebok asked him either to wear higher socks tonight to cover up the tattoo, or to apply makeup so it will not be noticed through the rest of the NBA Finals.

“They called and said I had to do something about it, but that ain’t going to happen,” Gortat said after Tuesday morning’s workout.

“I’ve been wearing it 4-5 years now, and it helped me get to the NBA,” said Gortat. “They didn’t say anything about it when I signed the contract, so it’s not going anywhere. I don’t think they are paying me enough to take it off.”

This is hardly a first for Reebok. A few years back, San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Nolan decided to forgo the usual NFL coach’s warm-up jacket and track-pants ensemble and wear a suit on the sidelines. Which would have been fine, had Reebok not been the official provider of sideline clothing for the league’s coaches, and so the NFL denied him his suits. Finally, because this was such a stupid story, everyone lightened up and Reebok just designed some suits for him to wear. All of which is to say, we’re all praying for Gortat when he is inevitably captured by Reebok’s thugs and has his little Air Jordan logo covered with a Reebok-approved pump.

The NBA Is Destroying America, Again, With Tattoos

Hey everybody, it’s the NBA playoffs! You know what that means, right? You guessed it: idiotic columns from hateful jerk-offs about how tattoos are ruining the NBA! This time around, we’ve got Kyle McNary of the Minneapolis Sports Examiner waxing moronic. Does this horseshit warrant an FJM-style takedown? Oh, hell yes.

It sounds superficial. It probably is superficial. But, watching the NBA has become almost a chore for me, not because the talent is diluted and the art of great passing is all but gone, though it most certainly is, but because more than three quarters of NBA players have ugly tattoos.

I’m going to make a wild assumption here and guess that McNary hasn’t actually been an NBA fan in quite some time. He thinks the quality of game-play has declined, but that’s not why it’s a “chore” for him to watch—it’s because of the tattoos! This is akin to saying you have trouble watching NASCAR because of all the stickers on the cars, or that the San Diego Padres are unwatchable when they’re wearing those hideous camouflage jerseys. (When, in fact, both NASCAR and the Padres are unwatchable for entirely different reasons.) (Because they are both terrible, you see.)

Yes, I’m prejudiced against people with tattoos. I think they made a big mistake, I question their decision-making skills, and I think they probably lack in self esteem.

This sort of silly screed almost always retreats to this argument—that tattoos are absolutely a sign of lacking self-esteem. This has become the “terrorists hate us for our freedom” of the anti-tattoo crowd.

I think a small tattoo on a sailor’s forearm is okay, but more than a silver dollar size is too much. I think they make women look trashy, hence the word “tramp stamp,” though Beyonce could have her whole body tattooed and she’s (sic) still be gorgeous. I guess I just don’t get it.

Hey, all you men and women in the Navy, listen up. Kyle McNary thinks it’s just fine and dandy to get a small anchor or a single pair of breasts tattooed on your forearm, but anything more than that is probably a sign of a mind so wrought with self-image issues that you are unfit to serve the nation. He is correct. Beyonce, however, may cover herself in all the shitty tattoos she pleases, and Mr. McNary will be happy to continue to pleasure himself to her, because she would still be a strong and confident woman.

Evidently, when McNary says he doesn’t “get it,” “it” refers to “how to construct a meaningful and consistent argument.”

I’ve been watching the conference finals the past week, and the games have been pretty exciting.

Even though the NBA sucks now, right?

Not many people would have guessed that the Orlando Magic would be a Lebron three-pointer away from leading three games to none. But….I can’t get past these tattoos.

There are two players, one in each series, who must have OCTD–Obsessive Compulsive Tattoo Disorder.

One of the many dreaded side-effects of low self-esteem, naturally. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT OCTD!

On the Cleveland Cavaliers, Delonte West looks like he belongs in a circus. After filling up both arms, West actually walked into a tattoo parlor and said, “stick some needles in my neck.” It’s hard to tell where one ends and another starts, but he has at least a dozen tattoos, and looks like a moron. Sorry, but he does.

You know, Delonte West and I very rarely hang out, so I can’t say for certain, but…oh Christ, yes, I can say for certain that he did not actually walk into a tattoo parlor and say, “Stick some needles in my neck.” This is not the way people speak to each other. When you head to Olive Garden for your weekly pre-Idol free breadsticks, do you demand from your waiter, “HEY, CRAM SOME STARCHES IN MY FACE”?

In the West, the Denver Nuggets’ Chris Anderson is nicknamed “birdman,” supposedly because he can fly to the basket, and he flaps his arms after a big play. I actually think it’s a good nickname because he looks like a peacock.

Awesome. Nailed it. Great joke.

Basketball, when played right, can be a thing of beauty. But, the two-bit punk attitudes, tattoos and chest-beating has made a great sport look like a thug convention.

So, your problems with basketball currently include:

- Diluted talent pool
- Poor passing techniques
- Tattoos
- Punk attitudes
- Flashy play/“chest-beating”

So, you’re bothered by the quality of the athletes, the culture of the game and participants themselves…maybe, just maybe, you’ve outgrown the NBA? Seriously. There’s no shame in admitting that you and a former passion have moved in opposite directions as time has gone on. If the NBA offends you so much, why not stick to college ball, or the WNBA? Why punish yourself with continued patronage of a league with which you no longer feel a connection?

The Indiana Pacers’ Marquis Daniels had a tattoo of a man committing suicide (lovely), Gilbert Arenas has the words “change we believe in” on his fingers in honor of Barack Obama, Luke Walton has a tattoo in honor of the Grateful Dead, and Tim Duncan has a tattoo covering his chest in honor of the nerdy game Dungeons and Dragons. The most idiotic reason for getting a tattoo? Amare Stoudemire wins the award. The Sun’s star claims that “if I died right now, my kids could get to know me by my tats.” Uh, Amare, why don’t you just talk to your kids!

First of all, it’s truly wonderful that admist all your incessant jabbering about how tattoos are a sign of the thug culture that’s destroying the NBA, you reference Gilbert Arenas’s Obama tattoo, Tim Duncan’s Dungeons and Dragons tattoo and Luke Walton’s Grateful Dead tribute. THUGGISHNESS ABOUNDS.

Also, Amare’s kids are about two and three years old. They’re barely human beings at this point. Maybe he’s covered himself with symbols important enough to him that his kids could maybe glean some insight into the man’s life once they’re able to, you know, speak and remember things?

Nah, you’re right. He’s probably just some absentee fuck-up covered with “gang tatz.” You goddamn clown.

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (May 20, 2009)


[Fox 61] Hey, and they say visibly tattooed and pierced folks can’t get regular jobs! The video up top is a special investigation by FOX television’s Connecticut affiliate looking into a local band of bounty hunters (or Bail Enforcement Agents, as their jackets say), and oh look, IAM’s own Jeff “Phish” Goldblatt is among the head-breakers! Jeff, as many of you likely know, was a long-time body piercer (and still does some occasional piercing now, I believe), but these days, largely goes around kicking in doors and picking up fools who’ve skipped out on court dates and whatnot (all while being heavily tattooed and sporting stretched nostril piercings and such). Anyway, this video teaches a few things. First of all, I always figured cop shows were bullshitting when they showed officers literally kicking down doors like they were nothing, but apparently I am just weak. And second, when you want to get some folks riled up about your line of work, there’s no better soundtrack than Tool’s “Vicarious.”

[Winona Daily News] So here’s a fun new trend: Articles about tattoo shops that treat them like any other business! This one focuses on the issue of state regulation of “body art” studios, which is certainly worth discussing, and actually collects cogent and thoughtful arguments and points of view from a variety of sources. Ha ha, what?

[Chad Gregerson] remembered the lack of state guidelines when he ran a shop in Brooklyn Park, Minn., and he followed the seemingly annual back-and-forth by Minnesota legislators pushing for increased regulation during the past eight years while he was tattooing in La Crosse, Wis. As an artist in Wisconsin, however, he became familiar with that state’s guidelines on tattoo and body piercing shops, and he made exceeding those standards a goal for Tatu Royale – even if the shop was in a county and state that did not require it follow any specific guidelines, he said.

The author goes on to provide a fairly comprehensive (and not uninteresting) history of body art regulation in Winona County, dating back over 20 years. The relationship between tattoo and piercing shops and society as a whole has changed dramatically, of course, and many are coming around to the idea that interaction between the two sides mustn’t be adversarial. Some, however, see this as an argument against statewide regulations, since it’s this change in attitude that’s leading many shops to follow more rigorous health guidelines as determined by local authorities.

Winona County has not received a complaint related to a local tattoo shop in years, said Jill Johnson, county environmental services director. County officials considered local regulation about 10 years ago and determined it wasn’t needed.

The proposal put before the Legislature this year would have required a license for each body art shop, as well as for each artist. License fees likely would provide the state with a sizable return, but Kevin Leque, owner of Red Wing Tattoo in Winona, wonders whether it would be enough to finance enforcement.

He says regulation would hurt shops and do little to stop amateurs from giving tattoos out of their homes or at tattoo parties.

Gregerson disagrees, saying the entire body art industry would benefit if shops across the state were held to the same standards. Regulation would weed out many of the amateurs who make the mistakes that give reputable artists and shops a bad name, he said.

Regardless of one’s opinion on the matter at hand, it’s difficult to not be encouraged by the fact that this is a discussion that can now be held in public in a civilized and professional manner, free from paranoid non sequiturs—besides, those are the domain of the commenters:

laurie wrote on May 16, 2009 10:36 PM:
“I don’t think the government should regulate anything anymore! They are the reason we are in the recession now.
Whenever I hear of an F.D.A regulation I run as fast as I can the other direction.”

[...]

COSTANZA wrote on May 17, 2009 9:58 AM:
“I think what Lauire is talking about is the government is becoming to much like big brother. It is not the government responsibility to insure clean needles it should be the people’s own responsibility to make sure the tattoo is safe. If I get a tattoo I am going check up on the parlor and make sure every thing is clean and safe.”

Sigh.

[Denver Post] Continuing today’s unprecedented string of positive mainstream articles about tattoos (?!), here’s a fine piece about the Denver Nuggets, who, as we’ve mentioned before, are just cold covered in tattoos, and are now facing the L.A. Lakers in the NBA’s Western Conference Finals. (Anyone see the game last night? How in the hell do you have Carter do the inbound with three seconds left with Odom guarding him? Guhhh.) Anyway, the author speaks to a number of the players about their tattoos, and does a fine job of demystifying and debunking the “thug” label that’s been foisted upon them by many:

“I think tattoos are a little bit from a culture of warriors,” said Nuggets coach George Karl, who has considered but not taken the plunge of getting tattoos that match what his adult daughter and son wear. “I’m not comparing basketball players to warriors, but there’s nature of competition that’s always been compared to warriors. And I like symbolism.”

[...]

This season, [Chris Andersen] said with a smirk, “We might not lead the league in stats, but we do in tats.” Indeed, the Nuggets are linked by ink. But asked if this is a special situation, guard Anthony Carter said: “I don’t know if it’s special, because a lot of people think it’s ‘thug’ — they have a different interpretation of tattoos. And it’s by how (physical) we play, too.”

[...]

[During] one timeout at the Mavericks’ arena, the big screen featured a phony television commercial, in the spirit of those, “Here’s to you, Mr. . . .” Bud Light ads. It was titled “Mr. Overly Tattooed NBA Player” and featured photos of the visitors fromDenver. It came across as cutesy, but there was veiled condemnation.

“A lot of players do have meaningful tattoos, and a lot of people don’t understand it,” Carter said. “They think it’s for fashion and trying to look tough and stuff like that. But everybody has meaningful tattoos.”

[...]

Smith proudly proclaims himself “Mama’s boy” with a tattoo on his chest; he said Ida Smith “is my best friend. I can say anything to her. She always gives me good advice. And that helps me on the basketball court, because then I’m more free at mind.”

Carter and Martin also have maternal marks. Martin has red lips on his neck, those being the smackers of his girlfriend, rap artist Trina.

And while we’re on the subject of sports…

[YouTube] Let’s conclude this fine news round-up with Jimmy Kimmel’s recent interview with famed boxer and occasional crazy-person Mike Tyson, who seems uncharacteristically calm and lucid (or maybe medicated?). It’s an interesting conversation, and Tyson spends some time discussing his facial tattoo and why he got it in the first place. Would you believe he initially wanted a smattering of hearts and stars before a friend convinced him to go the tribal route? Because I absolutely, unequivocally do. I don’t know if there’s anything I believe more than that fact.

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Feb. 20, 2009)


[CNBC] Scandal rocked the worlds of sports, print media and soft-core pornography this week when it was revealed that Sports Illustrated digitally removed IndyCar racer Danica Patrick‘s lower-back tattoo from her photos in this year’s Swimsuit Issue. (The chilling photographic evidence is above.) When made aware of this startling injustice, Patrick’s camp issued the following response:

“Danica is aware of the edits and is comfortable with the final photos.”

What sort of high-level coercion are these Sports Illustrated fat-cats using to elicit this sort of timid, fearful response? The publication outright refused to comment on the subject, for at least a day, until CNBC’s Darren Rovell was able to squeeze the following explanation from an SI spokesperson:

“The Swimsuit Issue emphasizes natural beauty [...] The freckles are left on and, in this case, the tattoos came off.”

Oh. Well, that makes sense. When you look at it that way, actually, this is a fairly historic move for the Swimsuit Issue. Indeed, the magazine’s photo editors also went ahead and Photoshopped all of the models’ breasts back to their original sizes, used only natural light, and limited their airbrushing to erasing offensive tattoos like Patrick’s. The issue has thus far sold seven copies.

[Citizens Voice] So you may have heard about the case of this cretin, this fool, Holly Crawford of Sweet Valley, Pennsylvania, who was arrested for selling what she called “Gothic Kittens.” These are just like regular kittens, except this dildo had pierced their ears, the napes of their necks, and cut off their tails and pierced the remaining nubs, and then attempted to make a business of selling these to … who the hell would buy these? Anyway, the case is going to court now, Crawford is facing criminal charges and, as such, more details are emerging:

“This was tying a rubber band around a cat’s tail so tight that it falls off,” said Deputy District Attorney David Pedri. “She caused the cats pain. She did this to sell them to make money.”

Crawford’s defense attorney, Demetrius Fannick, argued state law “goes on and on” about specific acts of animal cruelty, but nothing about piercing cats and docking their tails.

Prosecutors said a part of the cruelty included Crawford tying rubber bands around the tails of the cats so they would fall off. She’d then pierce the nub.

“There’s nothing in the statute that expressly says you can’t pierce your cat’s ears or necks, or even crop their tails,” Fannick said. “It’s a case that you will be for or against as an animal owner. Let the legislature say you can’t pierce or tattoo your animal, and it will be different.”

Magisterial District Judge Paul Hadzick said the case was a gray area in the law and predicted it might one day cause for a clarification in the law. At the very least, he said it’s a case that should be decided by a jury or a higher judge.

“I don’t think that the decision is for me to be made here,” Hadzick said.

While it’s probably true that this is fundamentally not all that different from pet owners who clip their pets’ ears and tails, this just seems particularly idiotic to me for some reason — probably the winning combination of animal abuse with the hoary old “piercings are goth!” chestnut.

[Scripps News] Good news, tattoo artists, the recession is over! For you, at least! The anecdotal evidence is in and has decisively shown that people would rather get tattooed than eat or give their children medicine.

“My question is ‘What recession’?” said Kate Hellenbrand, a tattoo artist for the past 38 years. “Every day, new clients are being born. The media promotes the industry. There are ads everywhere and sports heroes, rock n’ roll stars and models all have tattoos.”

While this may be true, it may also be a touch skewed coming from one of the most famous tattoo artists in the world, but nonetheless. The article goes on:

Sergio Reynoso of Salt Lake Tattootland was one of the few vendors who said the recession has hurt his business. Since about 80 percent of clients are Latinos, many experiencing trouble finding a job in a down construction industry, he has noticed a drop in business. He has, however, been doing a good business lately repairing or sprucing up bad tattoos done on the street by less qualified artists.

I’m not so P.C. that I’m going to act terribly offended by the implication all Latinos seem to be in the construction industry, but holy crap is this poorly written. Anyway, let’s bring it on home:

Even in Seattle — where thousands have been laid off in recent months — tattoo art is a shelter in the storm. Seattle tattoo artist April Cornell keeps quite busy.

“If you weren’t watching the news, you would not know there was a recession,” she said.

Artist Vinnie Almanza of Anchorage, Alaska, said he was booked all weekend in Salt Lake and is booked through June at his home shop. “One thing people definitely don’t have a problem spending on is their ink,” he said. “It’s like an addiction.”

There you have it: A statistically meaningless sample size that likens the impulse to get tattoo work to your common booze and drug addictions, as proof that tattooing is recession-proof. I can’t wait to read several thousand more of these articles over the next 10 months, at which point I will have to sell my computer, to eat, or more likely, to get tattooed. Best recession ever!

A Goal is a Dream with a Deadline


I do not really know anything about soccer. In fact, everything I know about it, I pretty much learned from this blog post. But a cursory reading of Wikipedia will show that this impressive portrait tattoo is of Juan Sebastián Verón, an Argentine footballer currently manning the midfield for Estudiantes de La Plata. Apparently, Verón is kind of a big deal:

In 2004, he was chosen for the FIFA 100, a list of the 125 greatest living footballers selected by Pelé as part of FIFA’s centenary observances.

Wait a second — I’m no word scientist or nothin’, but why is the FIFA 100 a list of 125 players? Man, I really don’t understand soccer at all.

(Tattoo by Andres Hurtado from La City Tattoo in La Plata, Buenos Aires, Argentina, while doing a guest-spot at Tattoo Lou’s in Long Island, New York.)

See more in Sports Tattoos (Tattoos)

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Ill-Advised Video Edition)


[Adam Riff] The captains of industry over at Adam Riff have been running weekly clips from a Jackass-style video made by Respect Authority, many of which are positively cringe-worthy. This week’s installment features the young gentleman on the receiving end of the most unsanitary and most improperly placed nipple piercing in the history of both nipples and piercing. If you’re the sort of person who’s offended by piercings being performed without gloves, some manner of sanitizer, or any adherence to anatomy whatsoever, you should probably shoot yourself in the eyeballs before watching this.

I think I just puked my pants.

[Big League Stew] ‘Duk over at Yahoo! Sports’s Big League Stew passes along a video from Mouthpiece Sports featuring the world’s last remaining Barry Bonds fan. Bonds, of course, was found guilty by an international tribunal of mass-producing all the world’s steroids in a sweatshop inside his skull and running around cold stickin’ baseball players with syringes full of dinosaur semen and such. After his conviction, he was sentenced to fight Jose Canseco to the death inside the Thunderdome, but was granted clemency, and now lives on a remote steroid farm in the Canadian north with Mark McGwire and their seven children. Anyway, this is one of the kids, showing off his Barry Bonds jersey tattoo:

[Right Celebrity] Sweet holy dogshit this is the most awkward thing I’ve seen all day. World-famous playboy and the only man who can pull off the three-day mustache, Brad Pitt, was on Oprah the other day fielding questions from every maniac with a microphone, apparently. At one point, some fan-girl from the Oprah head office hijacked a video feed and began pestering Pitt about his tattoos, which, he, as someone resembling a normal person, didn’t want to discuss on account of them being private. The conversation went something like this:

Insane Woman: HEY BRAD BIG FAN HUGE FAN HEY POP OFF THAT SHIRT AND LET’S SEE SOME TATSSSS

Brad Pitt: Ha ha, good one, but I’d rather not. It’s a fun connection to have with your partner, but it’s private.

Insane Woman: NO REALLY I HEARD YOU GOT A SICK ICEMAN TAT ON YOUR ARM! HAHAHA WHAT DOES ICEMAN MEAN, DOES IT MEAN YOU WANNA DO SOME CRAZY SEXING WITH ME, HAHA GODDAMN BOOYAH

Brad Pitt: Please stop asking me about my tattoos, they’re personal.

Insane Woman: C’MONNN RIP OPEN THAT SWEATER AND LET’S FREAK RIGHT ON THE TOM CRUISE COUCH, I SEEN PIXXX OF SOME INK ON YOUR TUM-TUM, YOU GONNA SWEAT IT OFFFFFF OH SHIT

Brad Pitt: I am leaving the planet of earth.

Full Coverage: Links From All Over (Nov. 14, 2008)


[Alana G.] The very talented Alana (nee Miss Gossip) just caught up with Rasheed Wallace of the Detroit Pistons who, in addition to requiring technical fouls for sustenance, has dedicated his entire back to tattoo tributes to his daughter. Sheed’s one of the league’s most intense, confrontational, and generally downright crazy players (in a good way), so this sort of measured and gentle discussion is an interesting counterpoint to that. Not bad tattoo work, either. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the cuteness there, because …

[Telegraph.co.uk] … uhhhh. I just … But … Ahem.

/splashes cold water on face

/straightens tie

/sniffs glue

OK, much better. So, this is the story of a woman with a psychological disorder that led to an obsession with plastic surgery that escalated to the point that she got so much work done over a 20-year period that she was unrecognizable even to her own family. She was briefly treated for this disorder, but fairly quickly fell back into her “old ways,” finding a doctor that not only agreed to give her silicone shots into her face, but provided her with syringes and silicone so that she could continue to do the same by herself. The silicone ran out, however, and the woman began injecting herself with cooking oil. The result can be seen in a slideshow here.

There is definitely an element of the grotesque here: A traditionally attractive woman, likely addled by some sort of psychosis, becomes what many would describe as a monstrosity. Yet, with each additional round of surgery, as untamed scar tissue and various disfigurements piled up, she was continually pleased with what she perceived as an ongoing beautification process. Now, after having been made a spectacle of, she seems to agree with the people who have been trying to dissuade her, and claims she would just like her old face back.

Not to try to analyze the thought process of a person with such obvious and complex problems, nor to suggest that we should engage in any kind of insipid armchair-psychiatry, but this is a truly fascinating and sad story that, while not directly related to this community, certainly holds some cross-over appeal. How often do those outside of the body modification culture criticize those within it for lying to themselves about the inherent beauty in so many of these procedures? I’m not saying that this is by any means a valid comparison or that body modification as much of this community practices it is in any way analogous to the sort of psychological disorder that would lead a person to the lengths of the subject of the linked article, but it’s interesting to consider the parallels that an outsider may perceive, wrongheaded as they may be. That is all.

[Fade Fast] And as a nice pick-me-up, here’s a cute Flash ad from noted sell-out Allen Falkner (kidding!) for his tattoo removal company, Fade Fast. I don’t mean to give free advertising, this is just quite well done: