UPDATE: Experts Weigh In On Sarah Palin’s “Lipstick,” Nothing Determined Whatsoever

Ignoring for a moment that the economy is in the shitter and soon we’re all going to be raiding the shops of local tattoo artists to steal their bottles of ink in the hopes that some of them will contain much-needed iron for the weakened sinewy frames that used to be our bodies once all of the nation’s foodstuffs have been hoarded by roving gangs of lepers and vigilantes and such, let’s turn our focus back to a matter of much urgency: Is Sarah Palin’s lipstick tattooed on?

We’ve covered this story before, but the sexist liberal just plain terrible media has all-but neglected it. THE PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW, DAMN IT. Luckily, the heroes over at The Huffington Post have taken up the cause, offering up a thorough slideshow and even a poll to decide how to address this issue of national importance. Go vote now!

Ha ha, I’m just kidding, this is the biggest waste of time ever. While you were doing that, I was just at the general store filling a barrel full of soon-to-valuable-and-maybe-even-currency chicken stock. Ah, delicious chicken stock.

Is Sarah Palin’s Lipliner A Tattoo? [The Huffington Post]

BREAKING NEWS: Body Piercings Are Anti-Israel

This will kill you immediately.

This is obviously a delicate subject, so it’s with some apprehension that I even broach the topic, but the evidence is overwhelming and it must be addressed: Body piercings — the piercings themselves — are actively attacking Israeli citizens. Crazy, right? “But how could a piece of perforated skin with a piece of jewelry in it harbor any sort of political or nationalistic bent?” you might ask, but the facts are irrefutable. Exhibit A: an Israeli soldier died this week from complications following an infected tongue piercing:

A 19-year-old combat soldier who died at Haifa’s Rambam Medical Center on Monday as a result of complications of a tongue piercing he had done in July was a rare case [Ed. Note: Or so they would have us believe], but oral piercings commonly cause infections, according to experts in the Israel Defense Forces and Tel Aviv University’s School of Dental Medicine. […]

The victim of tongue piercing felt severe pain around his lips a week after undergoing the procedure. He went to the Emek Medical Center near his home in Afula and Bnei Zion Hospital in Haifa and was transferred to Rambam as his condition worsened.

He developed a dozen infections in his brain that had begun in his mouth. First he was in the neurology department, but then the soldier was transferred to intensive care.

And as if this transparent plot weren’t transparent enough, there’s this unconscionable attack on the children (THE CHILDREN):

A 14-year-old boy who underwent a piercing in his nipple is hospitalized in Safed and facing surgery to repair damage from a serious infection, Ziv Hospital said on Thursday. […]

It was not clear whether the high school pupil from the Galilee had received his parents’ permission in writing to undergo the piercing, which is required by law for anyone under the age of 16.

Dr. Yuri Weiner, deputy head of pediatric intensive care at Ziv Hospital, said the boy previously had other parts of his body pierced with the insertion of a ring, but doing so in his nipple caused a serious infection in the lining of his chest and that he would need intensive antibiotic treatment and surgery, which is disfiguring.

The moral of the story? Piercings are terrorist organizations that must be eradicated at all costs before they kill again. I am suspending posting on BME so that we can focus our attention on this urgent matter. Posts will resume immediately.

Soldier’s tongue piercing causes fatal infection, Nipple piercing in 14-year-old boy leads to infection and surgery [Jerusalem Post]

More Ink-Stained Skeletons From the Palin Closet!

SCANDAL! Kind of. Potentially. Not really. Anyway, Wonkette received word from a tipster that Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, who is at the center of several lipstick-related controversies, doesn’t even put on lipstick. Why? Because the color on her lips is permanent makeup! Allegedly!

From: [email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Date: Wed, Sep 10, 2008 at 2:59 PM
Subject: tip on Sarah Pallin

Notes: Sarah’s sister in-law owns a beauty parlor in Wasilla…apparently Sarah’s lip liner is tattooed on…not sure what to do with that one.

leak to wonkette

As Ken Layne mentions, this is completely unsubstantiated and the person sending in the story spells Palin’s last name wrong, but my word! Can the McCain/Palin campaign recover after having been rocked by these allegations? The important thing to consider here is that her pit bull joke from the RNC should be read in an entirely new context now, since tattooing dogs is obviously totally wrong. Basically, knowing what we do now, she all but said she would personally tattoo every canine in Alaska. Why does Sarah Palin hate animals?

Sarah Palin Even Lies About Lipstick! (Maybe) [Wonkette.com]

And that’s it for this week, friends. Week one of BME’s News Blog is in the books! Come back Monday morning for even more occasionally interesting body modification news. Please. Please come back. I’ll bring pizza and pop. Have a good weekend.

It’s Just a Lip Piercing, For God’s Sake

Though I think it’s usually dumb and misguided, I have a hard time taking issue with a company that institutes a dress code that prohibits visible, tasteful modifications — by all means, that sort of thing is up to the discretion of the owner. When it comes to a school board banning them, however? It often comes off as an arbitrary and thoughtless use of power. So it goes in Portales, New Mexico: 13-year-old Kierra Seales has been informed that the clear bead she wants to wear in her lip piercing is unacceptable, and that the piercing will have to come out while at school. Her mother, Nkoshe, is calling it a First Amendment issue:

Photo credit: PNT / Mickey Winfield

“If we could accomplish changing the wording of the dress code, both sides would benefit,” Nkoshe Seales told the board. “The students would feel like they have the freedom to express themselves, and the administration and staff would no longer have to make an issue of the fashion trend.”

The current Portales schools’ dress code policy for piercing states that no student shall wear nose rings or nose studs or any type of visible body piercing accessory with the exception of earrings in the ear. […]

“The First Amendment is freedom of expression. Whether youth have First Amendment rights is still a legal question, but what is not in question is that they will (have them) some day,” Nkoshe argued. “Constraining them now from expressing themselves is no preparation for exercising those rights.”

Nkoshe has opened up a dialogue with the school board on the issue, and the board’s superintendent, Randy Fowler, seems open to reviewing the current rules and determining if a change in order. Nkoshe’s argument goes beyond a simple constitutional defense, though, and insists there are tangible benefits to body piercing:

“Piercing is a healthy and positive thing in some people’s lives,” Nkoshe said. “It encourages personal growth and self-discovery. Body piercing is the safest and most positive (expression) a youth could embrace given the alternatives of drugs, sex and gang violence.”

Well, I’m not sure those are the only alternatives, but … what do I know? Let’s see what the readers of the Portales News-Tribune have to say!

I wonder what this mother would think if Portales Schools went to using school uniforms? With the large number of students now, it would be helpful to the teachers if they knew who exactly should be on campus for safety reasons. Does she think teachers should also be able to express themselves by wearing what they would like and showing what they would like?

Hmm … well, the teacher issue seems like a bit of a straw man, but I’ll grant that if it’s a particularly problematic area, uniforms shouldn’t be discounted immediately. Even still though, aren’t piercings compatible with the institution of uniforms? One would think …

“I hope the School Board will remain firm in the set policy. Wearing a pistol on the hip, running naked in the streets are all part of self expression however thankfully there are laws and rules. Our schools are to teach. Teaching rules is part of education. This is why children are willful today.”

“Please change the rules for me because I am more special than all of the other kids who have gone through these schools and followed the rules. BULL!!!! I think it would be a very different circumstance if someone were to go into their place of business here in town and urinate in the floor. I think Ms. Seales would be very upset with you, and I don’t think she would be any happier if you told her that it was ok and should be allowed because you were just expressing yourself on the carpet.”

Oh, God damn it.

Mother protests school district policy on piercings [Portales News-Tribune]

Hanging for Sharks.

Photo credit: Chinanews.com

Look familiar? That’d be Alice, hanging in … a Lush window? Whaaa? Oh, it’s part of a demonstration to protest “the barbaric practise of shark finning, where fins are hacked off live sharks and they are thrown back in the ocean to die. As well as being a horribly cruel fishing practise, the killing of sharks on the huge scale that is happening at the moment is also threatening the entire fragile ecosystem of our oceans,” says Alice. Neat! It’s actually a co-protest that sees Lush teaming up with the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.

Alice goes on to describe the scene:

I suspended in the window of Lush on London’s Regent Street dressed as a mermaid for 15 minutes, hanging from two debarbed shark hooks (which, interestingly enough, are the hooks the suspension community uses as standard), while members of Sea Shepherd and Lush staff members handed out flyers and talked to the press about the campaign. Later in the day, the Lush staff headed to Chinatown to protest about restaurants selling shark products.

Noble cause? Check. Innovative technique? Yep. Good press for the suspension community? Indeed! Surely the erudite and gifted denizens of the Internets would agree. Right?

“This is again the horrible idea that shocking people helps. It’s like thinking that a public display of the most terrible experiments on animals can increase people love for them. I think this is just sick. Love brings love, disgusting stuff can only bring horror and fuel maniacs.”

“Horrible display of a female, when I saw the photo I said to me, somebody is sick.”

“Sad when our world has to resort to such tactics in order to draw attention to something. Every person has his/her own motive for doing the things they do. What’s happening to this world? Is it Money? Attention? Care-less hearts? Calloused hearts? I wonder if anyone walked away thinking about the sharks or applause for a masochistic girl? … Sad.”

Ohh … right.

Shark’s Fin Scoop [CNN]