Happy inauguration day! The new king of America — Emperor Hope is his name, I think — is about to give his first speech as the Commander-in-Chief and probably inspire tons of folk, which is really as good an excuse as any to get hammered and roll around in the streets, all day. Hey, look at the smiley gent up there! He’s got the right idea! So, come on, let’s all celebrate and be a part of history by, I don’t know, getting drunk at lunch? Sure, why not.