Monsters of Schlock needs YOU!


21 time Guinness World Record Breaking freakshow and body modification enthusiasts the Monsters of Schlock need your help in reaching their crowdfunding goal of making their sitcom pilot into a TV series!

The great Orbax, longtime BME contributor and emcee of the Toronto BMEFests, along with his brother Sweet Pepper Klopek the barb-wire bat wielding lead singer of the BMEFest fan favourite the Legendary Klopeks, have been traveling the world for the last ten years with their comedy freakshow. They’ve achieved some amazing feats in that time such as Sweet Pepper’s Guinness Record for the most mousetraps released on a tongue in one minute ( and Orbax’s record for towing a 9000 lb truck for 111.7 metres using two shark hooks in his back (

Last year they shot a sitcom pilot, entirely funded and produced on their own. You can see it on YouTube ( or watch it below. The concept is Flight of the Conchords meets Super Dave Osborne, but with a freakshow twist.

Their Kickstarter has rewards ranging anywhere from buying the DVD’s to getting your own personalized stunt, to having them show up at your house and do their live freakshow!

The only way the TV series is going to happen is if they can raise the money to pay for production, and that means that the only way you’ll get to see it is by pledging. Head over and help them out (

Shlockingly good time

Long time friends of BME, The Great Orbax and Sweet Pepper Klopek are currently spreading their own brand of filth through jolly old England. If your in the area, make sure you check them out!


Well, sweet pepper and I are in merry old england performing as, of course, our monsters of schlock comedy sideshow.
we’re going to be at Bournemouth Ink this weekend, the Bournemouth tattoo convention, May 29 & 30th

June 3 we are in Croydon at the black sheep bar
June 4th in london at the first alternative artists awards launch party, Resistance Gallery London
June 5 the gypsy hotel london.


Full Coverage: Links From All Over (May 29, 2009)

[] Oh hey look, up there, it’s our old friend Burnaby Q. Horatio Marcus Longfellow “Crump-Daddy” Orbax, immortalized in comic-form, courtesy of the good folks at Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! The comic is all about how Orbax, when not munching glass or whatever he does in his spare time, is actually some kind of sell-out nerd professor of “physics,” whatever the hell that is. Hey freak, make with the laughs! (Click the link to see it in all its full-sized glory.)

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution] Well, no laughs here. A few days ago, some idiot drunken goblin named Eugene Ashley decided it’d be a grand idea to tattoo his three-year-old son’s shoulder with the initials “DB,” allegedly standing for “Daddy’s Boy.” Hey, that’s fun bonding experience, right? No? Yeah, not so much.

The tattoo was discovered after an unidentified person complained to the Department of Family and Children Services about the conditions at the Ashley home. The Ashleys have three or four children, Davis said.

“You keep thinking you’ve seen it all, and then voila,” Davis said.

The children remain with their mother; Eugene Ashley was arrested May 21 and faces charges of child cruelty and tattooing a person younger than 18 years old, the latter being a misdemeanor, Davis said.

Interestingly, Theresa Walsh Giarrusso, a columnist for the Journal-Constitution, when discussing this shit-bird in a subsequent column, raised a point not uncommon to the likes of BME and its community, but one particularly foreign to the average AJC reader: Is this really much worse than piercing a baby’s ears or circumcising a newborn?

I get that there’s a law about not tattooing someone under 18, but why is that more worthy of a law than the other two? Is it simply because the other two are done more frequently so they have become socially acceptable?


Piercings (at least in ears) can close back up, but circumcision can hardly be reversed. I have heard of a method of stretching the foreskin back over the head of the penis using weights but that doesn’t sound easy. Laser surgery to remove tattoos seems preferable to trying to “re-grow” your foreskin.

Are tattoos more painful than piercing or circumcision? Not sure that’s true.

I’m not promoting tattoos for toddler and babies, I’m just wondering if there is a double standard of what is acceptable to do to a child?

Somebody get this lady a wheelbarrow in which to carry her massive balls! Whether you agree with her or not (and I don’t think she even really indicated whether or not she necessarily believes the argument she’s put forth), this isn’t a conversation that occurs among the general public very often, and it’s one that should probably be had. So, Theresa Walsh Giarrusso, we salute you for opening up the dialogue about a tricky subject at a difficult time. What say your commenters?

“Wow, trying to stoke some fires and save your job at the AJC with crap like this? Why not talk about Mike Vick too?

CIRCUMCISION= HEALTH BENEFITS, and doesn’t give your son a odd looking member.”


“My granddaughter got her ears pierced at 9 months old and she didn’t cry. How can you compare THAT to a tattoo. You people are nuts! lol”


“Are you seriously comparing tattoos to circumcision? Need I say more? Thought not, I rest my case.”

(In all fairness, there are a surprising amount of reasonable and rational discussions going on in the comments there.)

[YouTube] Astute reader “Cassie” sends in this charming YouTube clip on everybody’s favorite egg-laying water mammal, the platypus! Why are we posting it here? Because, in addition to being suckers for weird and/or cute animals, it also features several segments with Stephen Kolomyjec from James Cook University, who is all pierced and tattooed and whatnot, and is working on genetic research for platypuses. And hey, we like to show off modified professionals whenever we can. (See: Orbaxy up top.) Stephen pops up around the 1:14 mark.