Nasty, Nasty Clients!
“The customer is always right perverted”

This article is part two in a four part series of stories from piercers about all-too-common customers from hell. Click here to jump back to the main page of the article series, or continue on reading for this part.

I was about to pierce a guy’s navel. I asked him to roll his shirt up so it would stay up on its own. I turned around to start taking all my supplies out of the sterile packs, and when I turned back around he had his pants undone with his penis hanging out. I was stunned. I then told him he doesn’t need his penis out and that he could do up his pants. He then asked me if I was sure. I told him that I was very sure since I wasn’t piercing his genitals. He put his penis back in his pants and left his pants undone. I then told him he could do his pants back up. He did so I went on with the piercing trying to push what had just happened out of my head.

I was piercing a PA on an unusually quiet man and was ready to clean his skin with Technicare. I did so in my normal fashion and he got an erection, but that can be fairly common, and I turned around to my stand to open the sterile packages and get ready to mark and do the piercing when I heard an “UUGGHHHH...” I turned around to see that he had jerked himself off onto my piercing room floor... in, like, five seconds... I was just starting out in my piercing career, so I think all I could say was, “um, you’re going to have to come back another day and get pierced by (male piercer).

I had a guy in his seventies wank himself as soon as I finished putting in a PA. It only took him about five seconds to reach the short strokes, but fortunately I had taped a rubber glove over his dick so I did not have to clean up after him!

In our shop, we’ve had a man cum in one of our female piercers hand as she was disinfecting and marking the area to do a Prince Albert.

I was tattooing a woman’s inner thigh one day, and she started to moan, but not moans of pain... small stifled moans of pleasure. I asked her if everything was alright, and she said that she thought she was going to get off and climax due to the sensation in that area. By the time I was almost done with the tattoo she was actually playing with herself right in front of me and came to a full orgasm in the shop with customers in the waiting area. She even felt it was necessary to yell out my name when she came... the best part was that she had her back to the rest of the customers, so when she yelled out it kinda startled me and I ended up peeking out over her thigh and seeing everyone else in the shop looking at me as if I had been going down on her...

I was doing a standard nipple piercing on a big, sweaty, lecherous man. I can picture his gaping pores and the spittle on his lips. I wasn’t watching him as I was piercing him, just his nipple. I noticed he was squirming a bit, which is regular, but once I followed the CBR though it was apparent to me that he had just ejaculated in his overly tight sweatpants. Fucking disgusting. At the time I was working for a shitty street shop and only getting paid $10 per piercing. I was furious that he not only had cum about two inches away from me, but that I would only receive $10 as compensation for the traumatic experience. I was put off sex for a week.

I had to pierce a girl’s nipples, and her girlfriend came with her for support. When my customers undress, I always turn my back and pretend I’m doing my setup until they’re ready, but this time, when I turned around, the girlfriend was sucking and massaging my customer’s nipples, and even after disinfecting the skin for the second time, she wouldn’t stop. I had to ask her to leave the room.

There was one woman who was maybe in her late thirties who apparently had a thing for much younger men who would come in once a week to have her jewelry changed for a VCH, the entire time making very inappropriate comments. It all came to an end the day she put her hand on the back of my head while I was changing her ring. Another time a pretty frequent client of the shop had just purchased nipple shields that she was so proud of that after I put them on for her she had to walk around the shop showing everyone shaking her tits in their face. This would have been simply just a strange moment had her son, also a frequent client, not been sitting in the waiting room at the time.

I had a woman come in to have her long tongue bar changed down to a shorter one. She wandered in wearing an exceptionally short skirt, sat on my bench, we swapped the bar, and she left, same as normal. However, when I was about to give the bench a wipe down I noticed a nice long trail of glistening wet, which just so happened to be around the area she was sitting.

So this chick comes in for a hood piercing in my first year as a piercer. She’d heard that you can’t have sex for six weeks after you get your hood pierced. She decided that if that was the case, she was gonna get some before. She came in, spread to get her hood pierced, and nothing but ooze. She had just fucked her boyfriend in the parking lot before hand and was still “messy”. I sent her home to shower and said I would do it at a later date.

I used to have a priest (although I’m not sure if he really was) come in once a year for a piercing for every sin he had committed. Scary.

I had a chick in the middle of her tongue piercing grab my boobie. She was just kind of freaked out. I told her, “I can’t work like this, remove your hand, I’m not that kind of girl”... It ended okay and we are still friends.

I had two gay men that decided to lift the skirt of their female friend and start going down on her while I pierced her nipples. I had another client that wanted to describe his most intense fisting experience while I was piercing his guiche.

One time a girl started fingering herself while I was piercing her tongue... I didn’t even notice it at first, but then as I was tightening the bead I saw and she was like, “oh... sorry... I didn’t realize I was doing it...

I had a regular client started to make out with her girlfriend in my room while my head was turned, stopped, and then later on in the piercing procedure tried to start up with me!

I had a Mom who was going to get her nipple pierced and let her teenage son come watch, while her teenage daughter was in the waiting room bouncing on Daddy’s knee as he braided her hair. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with that, but it sure creeped me out. Just something about the whole vibe of that family seemed a little off kilter.

We had a lady come in to get her navel pierced. She started talking about her sex life, to calm herself down, she said. She let me know that she wanted to speak with one of the tattooists about a tattoo she needed finished on her lower back, so when we were finished, I led her out to speak with one of the boys. One was working on a client, and the other was not... I figured this was pretty much self-explanatory, but instead of speaking to the free tattooist, she yanked down her pants (to below her rear end, sans-panties) and asked what the then-working tattooist could do with it. Needless to say, he was a bit surprised, and a little disturbed about her not-so-clean derriļæ½re, and before he could even think about what to say, he blurted out “That’s waaaay more of your ass than I’d ever want to see!” — This same woman then came back a week later (to the day) and wanted a tattoo done right now, but on the front side of her panty line this time around... She ended up telling our eighteen year old apprentice that she “was gonna show her pubes to him”, but then recanted and let him know “I’m only kidding, I just shaved a little while ago... I hope it doesn’t smell funny!

During a male nipple piercing the guy grabbed a hold of my arms very tightly and painfully, I might add. For the second nipple, I politely asked him to place his hands under his rear end, which he did. The second the needle touched him, and it seemed like forever for both of us apparently, and he grabbed me again, only harder. I had big black bruises (you could see each finger clearly) on the backs of my arms for nearly a month. I would have told him never to come back, but he was a fairly regular customer and never did anything of the sort. I didn’t see him in the shop for nearly two months after. I later found out that the reason he grabbed was not necessarily the pain, but he was really getting off on the feeling of the piercing.

I had a customer start trying to give me a hand job during a piercing. She reached out and grabbed my cock through my pants and started attempting to stroke. I told her to stop right away and she did and only smiled and blushed. She said she couldn’t resist and she does come back every once in awhile to get work done still. I always joke about it with her when she comes in but she doesn’t try anything like that anymore.

This Asian electronics guy comes in every once in a while to troubleshoot his most recent attempt at whatever he’s trying for. He came in about a year ago with about fifteen silver finger rings around his wang. He said he had soldered hooks onto the inside of the rings so they couldn’t come off. He also had a solid piece hammered into place on his sac. The sac shield did look kinda cool but I couldn’t imagine him heating it and hammering it on! It looked like he had dripped his sac into liquid metal and let it set cool.

I had a lady that I did a hood piercing on, and when I was getting ready to grab the ball to put it on the jewelry she started to squirt on me! She had a very steady stream of cum coming out of her. I would of been a lot more pissed off but she was a friend of mine and I just told her that it was okay and thanks...

When I was working in California I saw a man bring in a cup of his own cum and throw it at the tattoo artist that was tattooing. He yelled, “if you like my wife that much here is your sloppy seconds,” and walked out to his truck...

I was doing nipple piercings on a woman in her mid twenties. First nipple, her back arches, and she lets out this moan and lets me know that she had become excited. As we’re about to do the second one she says that she needs something to hold onto. Next thing I know, my junk is in her hand and she starts to fondle me. I quickly jump away and give her a few minutes to calm down. We do the second piercing and her back arches again and the moan is even louder than the first. She starts shaking a bit and then informs me that she just had an orgasm. She was either legitimately out of control, or she was a really good faker. Her body motions and the inflections in her voice definitely seemed to be those of an erogenous experience. Post-piercing she had to lay there for a few minutes to gather herself and I remember a slight pant in her breathing. I remember the whole thing clearly and vividly because it was the only time anything like that has ever happened to me in my piercing room.

I was going to do a PA, and I left the room for a minute and when I came back the guy was stroking his penis. His girlfriend was in the room as well sucking his cock — I was tripping out for a minute, then asked what the hell was going on... then they asked me if I would have a threesome with them, and the girl was trying to kiss me and the guy was trying to touch me.. it was whacked... They kept coming back, and the last time they came they asked me to go have drinks with them. I just happened to stop by the shop on my day off and the owner was like, go have a drink with them, so I went. I got a buzz the guy was looking at me like he was going to eat me. We walked back to the shop because his girl was gonna get a tattoo — she wasn’t drinking — I said thanks for the drinks, and started to leave, and the guy followed me outside and tried to kiss and grope me. All of a sudden I see this hand come and slap the shit out of this guy! I left quick!

I had a guy who attempted to make out with and play with his girlfriends breasts whilst I was trying to pierce her hood.

I had another older Russian client come in wanting a 8ga ring above his pubic bone. I tried to explain that it wasn’t going to stay and recommend we use a surface bar, but he wouldn’t hear of it. I finally gave in and told him I’d pierce it with the ring for him, but to expect to have it reject. I didn’t notice this at first but every time I went to turn around to grab something from my setup he would reach into his pants and play with himself. I caught it the third time and was a little freaked out since this guy was a really built guy and I’m not a big guy at all. I just ignored it and went on with the piercing. Then after the piercing he started talking to me about genital piercings. He wasn’t sure which one he wanted so I showed him some pictures. Then as I was showing him the pictures he reached into his pants and pulled his penis out. He was very subtle with playing with himself with one hand as he was pointing to other areas on his genital with the other asking about placement. Once again, I was stunned, and then asked him to put his penis away. He did as I asked. Then just as he was about to leave he reached out and put his hand on my shoulder and started telling me how I’m a “good boy”. Needless to say I was really freaked at this moment and quickly had him on his way. I ran to the back of the shop and sprayed and soaked my shirt down with cleaner .

A couple came in for the wife to get a navel piercing, and the husband asked if he could take pictures. Well, the wife had a little sundress on so I let her know that if we were going to do this she would either have to change into something more appropriate or pull the dress up if she was comfortable with that. She did me one better, she took it off. With no underwear on no less. Not a problem, I can deal with that. So I get her marked and get her up on the table to pierce her, and as I turn back from my setup tray I see her making porn poses on the table with the husband clicking away with the camera. OK, whatever you’re into, not a big deal. I let them finish up and proceeded with the piercing. With that done, she gets up, checks it out in the mirror, and asks me to stand by her for a final picture. Once again, not a big deal, I’ve had this asked before. So I stand there and try to look as professional as possible with a naked customer next to me and realize shes starting to do porn poses again. I just stand there and endure... The husband then says “you can touch her if you want to” — well, that was the end for me. I kindly declined and went over aftercare info and scooted them out the door.

I had a man corner me in my piercing room and touch my face and tell me I had beautiful eyes. It was sketchy.

An elderly gentleman came in for nipple piercings, and upon inspecting the outcome, he asked himself, “I wonder if my granddaughter will like them?” I was throughly grossed out, and have paid close attention to the local newspaper for reports of child abuse ever since, just in case he shows up.

An older client called my old shop asking about genital piercings. I talked him through the various ones that I could properly preform, and even referred him to another piercer in the area for a couple that I couldn’t. He decided to come in for a consultation of sorts. Upon entering the shop and seeing the other piercer — a female in her early twenties — he suddenly decides that I am not competent to preform any, and started to insist that she must be the one to do it. He asks a very strange array of questions, and making some very odd requests, like “can you not wear gloves? I, uh, have a rubber allergy.” She explains that the gloves we use are a synthetic hypoallergenic latex, and he asked if she could not use gloves he he paid her more! After she calmly explained that she was not willing to do what he had requested, he stormed out of the shop, but returned the next day to get a tattoo, with the same type of gloves.

We had a guy come with his dominatrix. I fitted him with a custom made chastity cage attached to his PA, and then our tattooist tattooed a slave’s mark on his buttock. Well, the man said nothing when he was being tattooed, laying on his tummy on our massage table, but it seemed he liked the idea so much that he came all over the table. He didn’t make any sound, just got up after the tattooing and we saw what he had done.

A guy came in for a PA once and when he pulled down his pants he had a partial chub-on and there was cum all dribbling out of his dickhole...

I had a woman who tried to undo my pants to give me head after piercing her hood... We also had a regular who would come in to have penile piercings for fun and would orgasm during the procedure.

A middle-aged man came in for a consultation to get pierced one day. He wouldn’t tell anybody what exactly he wanted, so I brought him into my piercing room to get him to talk. It turns out he wanted three anal piercings. I wish I’d taken photos, as I’ll never have the opportunity to do something exactly like that again. Anyway, when it came time for me to examine the area, he had to take his overalls off. This man was a construction worker in full work attire, so I didn’t expect to see a matching pink bra and panties. Now, this did throw me for a loop, but that’s not what bothered me. He started going on about his transvestism and how he was “fucked up” and led a really messed up life. In fact, he’d had a tattoo done of a pin-up girl with a penis. Unfortunately I didn’t get to see it, but it was done at my shop so I got the full description from my coworkers. He was very respectful towards me and everybody in the shop, but he really creeped me out. I felt like he was crying out for attention, but there was nothing I could really do to help him. Unfortunately, I think he had some pretty deep-rooted mental health issues.

I had a woman ask me if she could rub her nipples before her piercing (vertical nipples) so she could fully remember the experience. Of course I said I didn’t mind, expecting a pinch or a rub, but she proceeded to rub herself for about fifteen minutes, all the while moaning... loudly. I mean, two stations over people thought I was banging the poor girl. She was one of the best clients I ever had.

It was a slow day at work, with just a few minor piercings here and there and I was getting bored, when a young fit girl came in and asked our price for genital piercings. She was very attractive to say in the least but I was dating someone so I kind of let that slide out of my mind. I quoted her prices with jewelry and she told me she wanted a VCH, I said okay and told her to wait in the lobby while I ran my tools through the autoclave real quickly. When we got to the back I told her I need to check her to make sure she was built for it, which she had no objections to, the whole time telling me how her boyfriend was ignoring her and didn’t know how to treat or please a lady (most times I’m very sympathetic but usually not so much at work, I could really care less about her problems at home)... The SpeedClave went off and we were ready. I told her to relax and lay back in the seat, clamped her, and told her to breathe in and that I would pierce on the exhale. It took me probably five seconds longer than it normally would because she moaned like she was gonna blow... I hurried myself up a bit, put the jewelry through and was done. When I was about to turn around to get the aftercare sheet she grabbed my arm and thrust it down at her crotch, once she got me close she tried to rotate my hand to rub her!

One time this stripper came by the studio and she wanted to have her nipple jewelry changed. She just took her shirt off in the waiting room so that we could see her nipple piercings. It was funny, but she ended up marrying the tattoo artist at this particular shop that I was working at the time.

I had a guy who ejaculated all over my glove when I was doing his scrotum piercings.

I was about to do a guiche piercing, and when I turned around I realized that my client was masturbating... He said that the studio he was at before didn’t mind.

We had a couple of strippers come in one day. One wanted a fourchette piercing, though she didn’t know what it was called, and the other was brought along to show me what the piercing was. The one that already had the fourchette dropped trou right in our fucking waiting area. Thankfully no one was in the shop at this time, but I’m sure the snooty wine bar across the street had some rather surprised drinkers.

I was about to pierce a woman’s nipples when she casually reached out between my legs and grabbed my dick in my pants. “I need something to hold on to” she said with a wink. I moved her hand to the armrest of the chair and told her she could hang on to it after the piercing if she still wanted.

I asked a man I’d just done a PA on if he could return in a week or two so I could take a photo for my portfolio, as I didn’t have my camera that day. Return he did, so I had him come into the piercing room for the photo. As I was getting my camera and getting the settings right, he was asking if he should be ‘hard’ for the picture. I told him no, that natural would be just fine. By the time I turned back around to him, he was absolutely nude (not just pants off, but everything), hard dick in hand and jerking off. I basically just chit-chatted until he lost his erection, took the picture and sent him on his way... Without my phone number!

A customer came in and had me look to see if her nipple piercing was migrating. In examining her piercing I touched it and she told me that I could touch it more and lick it if I wanted to... gross.

A man came in wanting his nipples pierced. He was a mid-fifties, suit and tie type. He asked me if he could beat off while I pierced him... even offered me extra money. I didn’t go for it, and I had the guy I work with pierce his nipples instead.

I had a girl tell me she’d show me her breasts if I’d give her friend a deal. I told her they weren’t anything special as I see them everyday. She left irate. I guess hers were God’s gift to man or something.

I had a young lady try to fellate me once while in the process of setting up the tray to pierce her nipples.

As I was scrubbing up for a procedure a client removed her clothing, and when I turned toward her she was on her hands and knees on my table, telling me to do stuff to her. Yawn...

A young, fairly good-looking guy comes to get his PA pierced. He sprung a boner — no worries, it’s happened before. I say, “that is not appropriate for this situation and your loins will have to be flaccid for me to continue!” Just a big smile... I continue, assuming when I bring the needle closer it would subside, but alas no, although for a short second as I do the piercing it loses its stiffness a bit! After I wrapped him up he stood in front of the mirror shaking his erect condom bandaged cock!

I was doing a navel piercing on this girl, and as soon as I put the needle through her navel she grabbed me and tried to hold me against her and started with some sexual references... Then there were the two dancers that came in for hood piercings. The first girl was straight-forward, but when the second dropped her pants the first commented on how big her inner labia were and that somehow lead them to talking about showering with some girl who loved big labia and would caress it just right and I am just sitting trying to mark this piercing and finding it fairly difficult to concentrate.

A female client came in to get a belly button piercing. After cleaning and marking the piercing I had her lay on the table for the actual procedure and she decided that it would be fun for her and her two friends there if she would casually reach out and try to rub my genital area. I can’t blame her because some of the piercers in my area like to use the profession to get women (and men) but I’m happily engaged and not really down with breaking my own personal client-piercer boundaries. Needless to say she didn’t get a navel piercing — or a full refund for that matter — and she’s lucky she didn’t get any charges filed on her.

I picked up an SMS message stalker! He kept messaging me about how he loved imagining my all these things he’d do to my “tattooed tits”. I just ignored them and it eventually stopped... but it really was his fantasy cause mine are art free!

After performing a genital piercing, my usual M.O. is to clean up my tray turned somewhat away from the client while they’re getting dressed, to give them some privacy. Once I turned back towards my male client to find him furiously jacking off. When I exclaimed that he couldn’t do that here, he remarked calmly that he just wanted to “make sure it still worked!

After performing a pair of nipple piercings on a lady, she grabbed my arm and pulled me to her and initiated a kiss. This was in my first year, and was really shocking for me... To this day I haven’t wiped it from my mind. I think it was instinct for her, she seemed like an especially “frisky” type... I really don’t think she thought too much about it either way. I think she may of thought I was hitting on her because I get pretty talkative to try to calm the person being pierced. I sorta jerked back and tried to casually say “no, no, no... not here...” I really don’t like being touched by strangers, so I may of seemed a bit rude.

I had an older man pop a boner on me while I was marking his navel. He decided it was more comfortable with his pants undone, and there it was trying to poke me in the eye. I had another guy try jerking off after I pierced his Prince Albert. He said he thought the piercing would look better for a picture if he was hard. I had another older man ejaculate while doing a Prince Albert — and he didn’t even tip me!

A guy came from two hours away for me to do my first ampallang.. I’d met him before and done a few piercings for him, and for some reason he gave me the creeps from the get go. Anyway, I agreed to do the piercing because I needed the experience. First of all threw his poop-stained undies down right in front of me, and then had a full on woody while I was trying to clean the area. He asked if he could take pictures while the procedure was being done. I agreed because I wanted a copy as well, but he started snapping pictures while he had wood and pre-cum! I was knelt down cleaning his rod, my face in the picture... UGHGHGHG! Sorry, but yuck....

I had a guy once while getting his frenum pierced start sticking his finger in his own anus and sort of masturbating it, just moving it in and out of his anus. I asked “Um... what are you doing?” And he replied, as if nothing was wrong, “oh when I feel pain this makes it better.” I told him he couldn’t do that in here and he agreed but continued to do it. I just very quickly finished with the piercing and told him not to touch anything on his way out.

I had a girl come in to ask about a hood piercing. Her boyfriend was a little creepy and started asking “how long before we can...” I told them approximately two weeks to a month, depending on how quickly her body heals, so they started talking about it and left. Not fifteen minutes later they came back, and did the paperwork and paid. I set up for her hood piercing, figuring they had to go to the ATM to get money... To make a very long story short, they forgot, or totally didn’t care about cleaning up because she was a mess.

A couple came in and the woman wanted her hood done. Forgetting the fact that she walked from my booth to the bathroom in nothing but her underwear and a shirt (in a packed shop no less), she hopped into the seat and we get started the procedure her and her boyfriend, between the “girl-on-girl” comments, touching her, and their constant kissing touchy-feely nonsense while I’m trying to do the piercing. At one point I just stopped piercing because I felt it was beyond inappropriate... unfortunately the piercing was finished — we were doing jewelry, so I couldn’t very well leave a corked needle in the woman, bad manners aside.

I got offered a blowjob once before a tongue piercing (I refused). It’s pretty common to get provocative sexual offers in Italy after navel piercings for some reason.

I had a guy strip completely naked while I left the procedure room for about ten seconds in preparation for a navel piercing. Upon finding him this way, I suggested that about three inches of exposed skin below the navel would have been entirely adequate.

A very straight university student type asked me if she could masturbate (with her hand shoved down her pants) while having her navel pierced. I said yes, if she washed her hands afterwards.

There was a man just last summer that sat in the lobby rubbing himself looking at the teenage girls waiting to get pierced. That didn’t last long...

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