Modified Jew

At A Glance Author JIS Contact [email protected]

I don't remember how old I was exactly when I first said I wanted a tattoo, but if I had to guess I'd say I was about five (also the same time I said I wanted a Harley Davidson motor cycle). I come from your average suburban middle class Jewish family so maybe a 5 year old girl saying she wants a tattoo on her arm and a motorbike was a bit strange. The feelings never went away however, even though I'd heard, many times over, that Jews aren't allowed to get tattoos, that they won't be able to be buried in a Jewish cemetery. Somehow this threat never seemed to bother me much, really, I don't care where I'm buried and in fact, I would rather be cremated (another big no no).

It was the summer after I'd turned 19 when I got my first bit of ink. Honestly I didn't put much thought into it and just went to the first place I saw. They were actually very clean and I don't regret my tattoo, though it's now faded and I plan on getting it covered up with something bigger and more meaningful. My mother wasn't thrilled when I told her. My timing couldn't have been better, someone was at our house teaching my brother what he needed to learn for his Bar Mitzvah, so she couldn't say much at the time. She quickly got over it and though she wouldn't ever admit it, I think she secretly likes my tattoos, she is always getting me to show people. My father just replied with his typical answer to things he doesn't like or understand. He said, "You'd have to be crazy to do something like that." I just laughed.

The reason I'm writing this is because, as a Jew, growing up in eastern Canada, I've always felt like an outsider within my own congregation. I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard that I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery now. And how do you explain that it really doesn't matter to you where you are after you're dead? That you don't believe G-d cares one bit?

I'm not very religious, at least not in the manner of following the Bible and the dictates of organized religion, but I have my beliefs and I'm very spiritual and I've always felt like I didn't really belong where I was. How could I be a Jew when I didn't agree with so much of what I was taught?

All this changed however when I got to go to Israel earlier this year. I was with a bunch of people I didn't know, and once again, I was an outsider, with my piercings and tattoos and bright red hair. I was like no other Jew I'd ever met and this trip was confirming every belief I had that I didn't belong. Cut to the final days of the trip, which we spent in Tel Aviv. Walking through the market with the few "friends" I'd made on the trip and lo and behold what do I see? A tattoo and body piercing studio. I wanted to go in but the girls I was with refused to even set foot in there! So the two guys that were with us said they'd come and in we went. I looked around and talked to the guy working in the shop (most people in Israel speak English I found). I didn't get any work done however I came away with an understanding that I never had before. Here I was, in the Holy Land, the Jewish Homeland and I was standing in a tattoo studio. No doubt the people who ran it were Jews as well. It was on this trip that I realized it was okay to be a Jew and be tattooed. I did fit in somewhere, I just had to search a little harder to find that place.

I know that I'm not the only modified Jew and so not the only one who has faced the same scorn for the way they have chosen to live their life. I think the point I'm trying to make then, is that it's okay, that I'm no less of a Jew for being tattooed. Maybe there are others out there who need to read this, need to see that even in Israel people are being modified.

Chances are I could never convince someone who was against tattooing that it isn't all bad. Some people just don't want to try and accept things they don't really understand. At least now I can hold my head up higher and proudly say, I am a modified Jew.

So that's my story on how I came to terms with conflicting views and found self acceptance, which is the most important thing of all. I hope anyone else out there who is having self doubts about how they fit into society, religion or wherever can have the kind of experience I had, the kind that lets you know that just because you may be a little different doesn't mean you can't still belong.