A mom watches her son's lobe stretching

At A Glance Author Tat2dMom Contact [email protected] Artist My Son Studio at home Location NC

Watching my son change by his own hands

I guess you could say that this is a veiw of the experience from the spectator's side. My son, Blake, wrote to you not long ago about his year long adventure in lobe stretching. He has now gotten up to a 1/2" sized hole in each lobe and I find it oddly attractive, although I have to say that I'm not into piercings, I prefer ink. But,this is his way of expression and it's great that you folks at BME are putting out good quality information for those, like my son, who have a desire to engage in body modification. He has somewhere to turn to for reenforcment and support that Mom and Dad may not be able to give.

Now on to the spectator part... but first a few words about us, the parents. My husband and I began getting tats 3 years ago, we were 37 and 38 years old. I now have 8 tats and am working towards a back piece. My husband has a wonderful full back piece and 3 others in black work that looks so nice with his below the shoulders black hair and full beard. He is a computer analyst and I am back in school working on a nursing degree. Sure on the outside we may look like "soccer parents" but underneath it all we have merged victorious with our individualizm. I guess you could say that Ozzie & Harriet, we ain't!

We have always tried to stand by our son's desire to be different. He has had hair of every color, trips to the mall for pierced ears and now stretched lobes. Yes, we stand behind those choices but still, at times, stand back and ponder what he's doing. At times, we just can't understand even the simpliest alteration in his appearance. You see, here is the two edged sword. The first side of the blade is that I want nothing more than to know that he is NOT a sheep, (following others blindly into preppy mall stores and buying things to be one of the crowd), but instead showing the world his creativity and uniqueness through his outward appearance. We have always tried to curb his desire to wear anything that has some's name printed on it that is overpriced and trendy.

Now, the other side of the sword's blade... The times that we step back and ponder his choices, for body modification, usually come from one thing. It comes from the fact that we are parents. Parents look at their children as beautiful and perfect, not requiring anything modified because of the perfection that our eyes see when we look at them. Those of you that have parents that are less than thrilled with your choices must understand that our eyes see things much differently. You are our beautiful babies, no matter how old you get. You can't run, you can't hide, you are out precious little angels. So, there lies the problem of the double edged sword. Our hearts pull us to want to dislike modification of any sort, but our head is saying that this is a thing that will support his/her efforts to be their own person. So, from us, the spectators, I ask you to be patient with us parents. Even the most liberally minded folks, (including us old hippie types), have been known to draw a line in the sand over some things. Usually those are things that we don't understand. Unfortunately, we only see beauty one way and don't take the time to see how beautiful you are with a modification. We don't want to look at you through "new eyes".Putting on those new eyes would make us see how wonderful an adorned face or body may actually look.

Again, to all of you...go slow with us parents, be patient and make good choices. Be smart about things like infection and pain thresholds. Do what's right for you but don't do anything to spite your parents or follow a crowd. Do it because it's who you are and it's how you want the world to see you.

On a personal note...Son, I think you are so beautiful. I love the fact that you have the guts to look different. Maybe my eyes are refocusing on something less standard and more broad minded. My eyes have changed over the last year and I see what your creativity can do to make you even more handsome than I thought was possible. But like I said to the readers...go slow and be patient with us.

>From a spectator, a slightly modified mom and one that is still growing a set of new eyes...

Sabrina

a.k.a. Tat2dMom

P.S. Blake, I love you.