Having been a watcher of BME for years now, I guess you can say I take it for granted. Having grown up in NYC, hanging out in the Village, and NYC generally being a "freaky" city, I guess I take body mods for granted as well. I didn't realize this till tonight, when for the first time I read through the BME/news section of the site. I've used BME for research on and off for a long time, but never considered myself part of a/the "scene" even though I have been to a few tattoo conventions in NYC, mainly I use BME for piercing info, and never really considered what other people think about tattoos and piercing, even those who are pierced. As I read through some of the articles in the BME/news section, I started thinking about situations where I've had to explain "why I would do that to myself". Strangely enough, this comes after 2 experiences that actually did make me think about this.
At A Glance Author Badtz Maru Contact [email protected] Location NY NY First, a little about myself, I'm a 27-year-old black male with 7 tattoos and 9 piercing, of which I actually have jewelry in 5 (anyone who has been in enough street fights might think like I did and take lobe earrings out, and then again maybe not). I'm NYC born and bred, quite the introvert, something of a geek (and proud of it) slightly crazy (more on this later) and pretty intelligent. At the moment I'm not working, but I work in the computer industry. I first got my ears pierced the moment I turned 18, with my first tattoo soon following. I've worked for everything I've owned pretty much since the age of 14, so I know the meaning of money and how much appearances can mean. I don't do anything frivolously, but I don't by any means take anyone else into consideration when I decide to do something.
Now back to why I'm writing this. Recently standing in port authority using the bathroom (NYC born and bred but at the moment I live upstate) the guy standing next to me out of nowhere pretty much shouts "What the hells wrong with your pecker!" Much to my shock, I realize he's talking to me. I have a frenum piercing (which I love) which lucky me, this gent notices and decides I must be insane (I guess). The witty guy I am, I look to my left and go "Huh?"
"There's metal in your pecker!"
"I'm quite aware of this sir"
"But... WHY?"
Obviously the piercing wasn't meant for this person to ever see (to my intention anyway) and port authority on a late Friday night is not the best place to get into why I decided to get my frenum pierced. I pretty much finished my business as quickly as possible, ignoring stares from people I never have any intention of knowing, and make my escape. Soon after this with the bug of "but why" in my head, I somehow talk one of the most wonderful women I have ever had the joy of meeting into my bed. (I should probably mention that I have my right tragus pierced, my navel as well as my tongue twice, in addition to my frenum.) Her shock when she noticed my frenum was amazing considering she didn't think any of my other piercings strange. I had never meant to scare a member of the opposite sex out of my bed (luckily my quick wit saved the day... or rather night) and in the end the lady in question decided that the combination of tongue and frenum worked rather well in her favor, but again I had no quick response to why. After reading god knows how many experiences, and even writing my own (which I never got to use my membership info for thanks to an e-mail snafu by the way, powers that be. "when the bug bites" in the frenums section) I started thinking about why I do "mod" myself, why I will continue to mod myself, and why I like it.
With my few holes, none over a 4ga at the moment, I'm not what one would consider extreme by any means. Within my circle of friends, to those who know about my piercings, I'm a madman. A small part of the why is pain. That moment when the needle or tattoo gun hits my skin is pure bliss. You know you are alive if you hurt, and can walk away from it, and to willingly cause yourself pain is something it takes a fairly strong (even if crazy) person to do. Part of it is ritual. Most of what we Americans consider ritual I consider lame. I'm not religious, don't do many things simply because they are popular and like I said before, I'm not an extrovert. Call it a personal rite of passage kind of thing, but it's for me and no one else. I've been contemplating both a Madison and a frenum ladder, and the Madison has been on the back burner for over a year simply because I don't feel like dealing with people asking questions (though I probably at some point will do it anyway). But the single largest factor to me is beauty. Though I wouldn't personally do a lot of what I see on BME, I have yet to see a piercing I didn't like. Individual piercings may have their flaws, but considering there's no such thing as perfect, the flaws are part of what make them beautiful. I think the Madison is sexy as hell, on a guy or a girl. As a canvas is incomplete until it is painted on, my mind and body is in ways incomplete. The way I choose to complete my body is with metal and ink, usually for my eyes only, sometimes to be shared with friends. Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I understand that, and not everyone I meet will understand why I do what I do. Unlike a lot of people, I don't think the "little rich girls" who get only a navel or tongue piercing (or whatever it may be) have any less of a right to their piercings. In fact it's in its way good that piercing is popular enough that its somewhat mainstream, it keeps interest up and forces the industry to maintain standards that protect those who in the long run go the more "hardcore" route. There's nothing worse than "I'll never get another piercing because insert horror story here!"
In addition to all of this, there is the obvious "because I can goddamnit". Body mods are nothing new, a great many cultures have and do use them for various reasons, as anyone who has done a little research will know. And because I can, I will. With the intention of beauty, for myself, and no one else. (Though it wouldn't be a bad thing to have friends with the same leanings, even if for different reasons). I mentioned previously something about being crazy, and recently this has become a rather big deal in my life. My next piercing or tattoo, whatever it ends up being (at the moment I'm still undecided, most likely it will be a piercing simply because money is an issue) will simply commemorate the fact that I'm still here and breathing. I have one of those strange "disorders" that medical science can give a name to, but has no idea how to cure. They call it a disassociative disorder. What this means is at random times I forget who I am and wander about for sometimes days, sometimes weeks on end, with no clue afterwards where I've been or what I've done. To say the least quite scary. In addition not a good thing for holding a regular 9-5 job. The result of this has been to say the least bad bad bad on my quality of life and what not. Add to this the resulting depression and such and one can understand how life can seem a pretty bad thing to have to deal with. Thanks to some good friends and doctors I'm still here to hopefully in the long run enjoy life and defeat this "disorder" but in the meanwhile Im just happy no rash actions on my part have taken me away from my boring little life. (After last weeks events in NYC my life seems pale in comparison, but I do only have the one.) So my next bit of work, whatever it will be will be a reminder that things can, and in fact have been worse for me, a reminder in steel that life isn't always easy, but its how you live it that is the measure of you as a person. So the next time I sit under the needle (which I hope to be soon) the pain of that piercing will be a reminder that yes it isn't always good, but it isn't always bad either. Maybe it will be that sexy Madison...