There's been a lot of debate on IAM lately about whether body modification is or isn't spiritual. I've been of the opinion that I guess it depends on 1) what you define as spiritual, and 2) the perception of the individual.
At A Glance Author Mrs. Penguin Contact Mrs. [email protected] IAM Mrs. Penguin When N/A I'm still not at all convinced that it is spiritual, at least for me. Perhaps this has more to do with my own definition of 'spiritual' -- I tend to link that word with a certain degree of religious observance, and while I am Jewish, it is more of a cultural thing with me; I am a fairly non-observant Jew. I guess on some level, I'm not sure that I would know a 'spiritual' experience since I'm not particularly religious. This might be more a matter of semantics than anything else.
But it just came to me that no matter what word you use -- spiritual, life affirming, essential, profound -- that for me, my piercings and tattoos are an inseparable part of who I am. They feel necessary to me in the same way as breathing feels necessary. Every time I voluntarily allow someone to perform a painful procedure on me -- never mind that, every time I actively SEEK OUT a modification procedure that I KNOW will be painful, and 'survive' the experience, I am winning. I'm asserting my own inner strength over what, for most humans, is a natural aversion to pain and injury. Every time I allow someone to cut a hole in my tender ear cartilage with a fairly large, sharp needle because I want the end result -- a beautiful, life-enhancing piercing -- I am triumphing over my own fear and becoming a little stronger. This is something that the vast majority of people cannot or will not do. Every time I sit for several hours on end being tattooed, tolerating and triumphing ov er the searing pain of those sharp little needles puncturing my flesh, bringing with them a permanent change to my body -- and keep doing it time after time even though I know I will be in some degree of discomfort both during the procedure and for some time after -- I am proving my own strength -- both to me, and to those who see me.
My first tattoo involved an inner struggle with myself. While growing up, I was the kind of kid who would NEVER do anything as bold as getting a tattoo � to be quite honest, I was the kind of kid who was afraid to take risks. You know how, in every class, there's one kid who is the scapegoat and who bears the brunt of everyone's bullying � well, that was me. I was afraid to assert myself with anyone. Certainly, doing anything as bold and daring as GETTING TATTOOED! would have been out of the question totally. Let's fast-forward about 20 years, to age 35. I found myself standing in front of the tattoo trailer at a large antique car swap meet with my husband, and having an inner debate with myself. I shocked and delighted myself by deciding to go ahead and get my first tattoo � a small blue flower. The simple fact that I broke out of my shell and did something so daring was incredibly powerful for me. I felt like I'd finally conquered my own fear of doing things for M E, not what everyone one else expected from me. It was as though I'd passed an inner test and triumphed.
I like the feeling of knowing that I am stronger in some ways than most other people. It makes me feel different, and special. I imagine that many of you out there, who have also undergone equally or more painful procedures in order to achieve the outer expression of your inner self-image, can identify with what I'm saying. I don't think you need to be covered with ink from head to toe, or so filled with piercings that you set off metal detectors, to identify with what I am saying. It's not a matter of 'how many mods do you have', rather a feeling of fulfillment and triumphing over your own self.
I do not LIKE pain. My motive in getting tattooed and pierced is the end result (both physical and emotional), not the process itself. If someone would say 'You've paid your pain dues, no more pain for you when you get inked', I'd be thrilled. But at the same time, I'm proud that I am able -- time and time again -- to get through that pain and come out on the other side a stronger person for it. Besides being an aesthetically pleasing addition which helps fulfill my image of what I should look like, my tattoos and piercings say to the world � and to me � that I am a strong woman who is in control of her own life.