I'm sure we've all seen pictures of things and wondered "Why would someone do that?". The only thing that would concern me about someone's choices is their health, mental or physical. Some things are easier to take back than others. There must be something that compels us all to do the things we do, though I haven't put a finger on it yet. I could say it's my aesthetics, but what would make me believe that one thing is more beautiful than the next? I will admit I'm a little skewed.
At A Glance Author NoRiddim Contact [email protected] When N/A I got my facial tattoo when I was 19. The placement on my chin is like the traditional women's facial moko. I hesitate to call it that because I always have people asking me why I would get a Maori tattoo when I'm not of that heritage. I think the placement is elementary due to symmetry and accentuation of the mouth, (So fuck off! Hee-hee). The design was something I drew up, with a bit of tribal flavor and some runes thrown in. Ansuz-Signals (source of divine utterances), reproduced and flipped=Teiwaz-Warrior in the negative space. The intent was to speak wisely and be a stronger person. I chose a subtle blue so it would still look feminine, though I do have the occasional moron call it a beard.
The process of getting my design inked was not very painful and was a very short sitting, probably an hour including prep and stencil placement. It's just simple linework. I was very nervous, moreso than when I had my forearms worked on. No more being able to cover my tattoos with just long sleeves and pants, unless I wanted to wear a bag over my head. The results were great, I was so happy but it was hard to smile big with the swelling setting in. I remember feeling so elated and pleased, I just floated home. It took some time getting used to it, seen in the mirror every day.
I found that getting my face tattooed changed relationships with people I thought I was tight with. I'll make sure I don't get into any horribly disfiguring accidents around these people. Others just seemed to tolerate it, which makes me sad that they have to try to see past it, (I'm grateful anyway). I was luckily at the time employed by an open-minded company working on large format copiers. I was used and abused by them for wholly different reasons. Needless to say, my parents had a fit when they found out. I managed to hide it for about a year with heavy foundation. One day the sun shone just right, my mother started crying and didn't talk to me for a few months. I think she was in denial that I could do something like that. My father started coming over to play devil's advocate and beseeched me to get it removed. Snowball's chance in hell, though I love and appreciate them.
So, today? I have a very small circle of friends, all which look at me as a whole. I recently had a friend of mine from high school e-mail me, now she visits me in the city once a month. It was really odd at first, not knowing how she'd react to my tattoos and piercings after not seeing her for six years. She is absolutely gorgeous, and straight laced in a good way. We talked about our lives for a bit, she asked to see my arms, told me I was beautiful and that was it. Simple and painless, no big to-do. No being looked at cock-eyed or the like. Sweetest girl in the whole world as you can tell. Such wonderful people in this world are very rare.
My parents are definitely much more accepting now and once again see me as their daughter and not a mentally ill weirdo. They get annoyed at times because I refuse to attend family functions. I really don't feel like breaking new ground at this point in my life, besides, they're extended family. Really, I'm not that jaded but there are people worth trying for and the ones you leave behind. Now I just hear lectures about smoking and how big my stretched ears are getting, (they've been the same size for a year!).
Finding a job, as always is tough. I finally landed a virtual call center job where I can work at home doing customer service (really, it's not phone sex, Mom). I plan to just save up money to move to Chicago and go back to school. I do have goals and aspirations and try to keep my hopes up on living like a "normal" human being.
It's strange not knowing if mods are a choice or not. Wondering how different things would be if I just tucked the thoughts away in my head. I don't mean for this commentary to be anything important, just a glimpse into the life of another person who may feel like you. I think that life is often hard but I rejoice in the fact that I can still laugh, live and love as I choose. No regrets, just adjustments. Normally, I'm not this sappy, but being reflective sounds much prettier than "fuckall, it'll get sorted out".