At A Glance
Author	anonymous
When	N/A

XXXXX The story that I am about to share with you is true and I have never spoken of it before today. However, I feel it is time to let it out and who better to share it with than my IAM family. I have to keep my identity a secret and I hope you understand. However, I will give you a little hint. I am one of the top 200 editors.
XXXXX It wasn't very long ago that I had decided to take my own life. In fact I do believe that it was the summer of 2000. To put it plainly I had just given up. I had many reasons, poor marriage, poor work environment, very poor health and a few other contributing factors. Of course looking back they all appear stupid now.
XXXXX Like I said, I decided that I was going to take my life. I just had to come up with the how, when and where. I decided that my method would be an overdose. I had about 50 of these little pills that where given to me due to the fact that I have a muscle disorder that becomes very painful from time to time. It was an experimental drug at the time and I for the life of me can't remember the name. All I can remember is that they looked like a robin's egg.
XXXXX With the method all figured out all that was left was the where and when. Well, it just so happened that a few days after I had made my decision I was asked by my boss to stay late and do some paperwork, I agreed. The only reason I did so was that I have always enjoyed computers and I could play around with the boss's.
XXXXX I then decided that I would do it at work late at night. This was perfect, no one would be around and all those people at work that were causing me so much grief would be the lucky ones that would find me. Also, I didn't want to do it at home because of my children.
XXXXX It was all happening very fast but it was happening. After everyone had left I sat down at the boss's desk in front of his computer. Yes, I was going to do the work before I offed myself. Anyway, I just happened to notice that he had his internet password taped to the front of his computer. So, I decided what the hell. As much as I love computers I had never been on the internet.
XXXXX Once I figured how to get on I then kind of sat there with a dumb look on my face because I didn't know what I wanted to look up. After about twenty minutes of thinking tattoos popped into my mind. So, I did a search and the first site that came up was Tattoos.com.
XXXXX I went there and I played around a little and I noticed a link to live chat. I thought "Why Not". I entered the live chat and that's when my life changed.
XXXXX Once I entered 2 people that I will never forget greeted me. I was amazed at how nice they where. They where none other than MCat and Pandora. I sat back and just mainly watched at first but was soon drawn into conversation after conversation. Before I knew it people where coming in for work and my plans to end my life that evening never came to be.
XXXXX I went home and went to sleep but when I awoke I was amazed. I actually felt a little better, mentally anyways. I later returned to the live chat and met some more amazing people, namely CelticBeast, Vinegirl and Valerie.
XXXXX I never told anyone in the chat what my intentions where and soon the desire to kill myself slowly began to dissolve over the next few weeks as my addiction grew. I had found a family. People that would truly accept me for me and not ridicule me for being different.
XXXXX As the month's past I learned about BME and Shannon. I also learned more and more about Body Modification. I had undergone a major modification. The modification of my mind. Although I must admit I had episodes from time to time but my desire to gather with my new found family pulled me back time and time again.
XXXXX Soon after, Shannon created the IAM pages and my family has grown and grown. My life has never been more wonderful and will never be that dark again.
XXXXX I owe my life to Shannon for creating BME and I don't think I will ever to be able to thank him enough. All I can do is do my best to help promote BME / IAM and everything it is associated with. I truly hope one day that I will be able to meet him face to face and thank him in person.
XXXXX A lot has changed since then. I know have my own computer and all the fun stuff that goes with it. I'm addicted to put it mildly. My marriage has taken a complete turn around and I no longer wish to die. I now enjoy my life and realize how precious it is.
XXXXX I hope I haven't bored you with this but I just had the need to tell someone. It really doesn't matter if you approve this. I already have an IAM page and a membership to BME. Also, I would never post a link to this experience on my page because this is a secret that I must keep, atleast for now. I just felt the need to share this with someone.
XXXXX I Thank You very much for taking your time to read this. I wish you all the brightest of blessings and I wish you Peace.