I look at my beautiful 7 year old daughter, and my breath escapes me. Shiny, golden hair. Large, warm eyes filled with the innocent joy of childhood. And that personality... Macy Alexandra. This creature is my greatest accomplishment.
At A Glance Author Jezehell Contact [email protected] IAM Jezehell When N/A I became a mother at the rather tender age of 19. Just out of high school, no plans for a future, and scared half to death. I was in a shitty predicament. I had moved about 400 miles from home, and didn't know more than a handful of people. All I could think was, "What the hell am I doing??! How can I do this? How could I bring a child into this world?!" But, I did. It's always a struggle, and sometimes I could pull my hair out.
Here I am today, 25 years old, and as proud as any other mom around. She is a brilliant little masterpiece, developing so well into her own person. This "own person" is mature, open-minded, and accepting of all things deemed odd or different by usual societal standards. This is exceptional, to me, considering her age. And I like to think that I had some influence in that aspect of her personality. I am unlike any mother we know. With my 35% tattooed body coverage and my more-than-a-dozen piercings, I definitely do not blend. Stick out like a sore thumb is more like it. My dress varies from nice little girlie tops to ripped and faded black metal tees. School functions are always a hoot as Macy and I drag in, she, donned in her cutesy dresses or capri pants, and I, sporting my latest piercing or tattoo. People always give a second look, and Macy and I look back with a jovial roll of our eyes and a smile of amusement spread across our faces. Thankfully, her social st anding has not suffered at all. She has many friends, and most are allowed into our home. She has sleepovers and parties on a regular basis, and similar invitations are reciprocated to her. She has accompanied me on my many trips to the piercing/tattoo shops- it's been a great part of her upbringing. She's met other people "like her mommy", and I think that's important to a child in her position. She has been exposed to a lifestyle so different than what her peers have experienced, and it's always positive and fun and exciting. I don't think any of her classmates have seen someone get pierced or tattooed! She's seen it a dozen times, and it's all become rather commonplace to her. She inspects my new additions, often rubbing my tattoos with lotion, or cleaning my piercings with Q-tips. Though she feels like a big help when she gets me all cleaned up, this is just no big deal to her anymore. Even though she does say it's 'cool', I would like her to share my enthusia sm! But, if it doesn't strike her fancy, so be it. After all, she is her own person. The only real influence I insist upon with her is that no matter what someone says about people who look different, don't pay any mind to it. We of the altered ilk are good people, we can have good jobs, we don't all do any excessive partying, and we're not all criminals. And I ask that she try to share this tidbit of wisdom with the folks who make the ignorant comments.
I ask her sometimes how she feels about having a mommy who is so different than other mommies. She always reassures me that it's great, that it's "cool", and none of that matters. She says she's not embarassed by me (I ask her that, too.). So far, everything runs rather smoothly, and I hope she remains as open minded as she is. Some things may change as she grows older - that dreaded teen angst may come into play for us. But, all in all, I feel good about our future. I think our next challenge will be how our peers deal with my becoming a mortician! That should be interesting.
For any other mod-parents out there who might get some bit of negativity from others, just know that your children do love you, just as you love them. I know that's the case for me. There have been times when I've had to wear long sleeves and long pants to certain events. A certain appropriateness has been necessary in some instances.
She talks already of the piercings she plans on having when she's old enough. And I have no idea from what piece of thin air she pulled this, but when she was about 4, she insisted that when she "gets big", she's going to have a tattoo of "a big black dude" on her arm. I reckon we'll see, when that time comes.
Conclusively, my daughter doesn't see some tattooed/pierced/wackily-clad freak. I am love, nurture, beauty, kindness, and patience. But, most importantly, I am MOTHER.