At A Glance
Author	anonymous
When	N/A

I'm Liz or Lizzy, whichever is your preference. I think it is important to listen to your body and cherish yourself. I'm going to try not to preach but I will probably end up doing it anyway. I can't help it. I am very passionate person.

I've become more interested in body modification in the past few months, and I find myself religiously coming to BME to learn more about it. As I was reading the Ritual Section, I was shocked and a little baffled when I read some personal experiences about the practice of cutting.

I understand and appreciate cutting to form a picture or a scar-type tattoo. The cutting is creating art. Elaborate designs and images are often made that look beautiful. However, it worries me that teenagers find it necessary to cut because they don't fit in.

I don't want to whine. That isn't my style. I know about the cutting. I've been there myself, and I never thought of it as body modification. To label it as a modification would also label other forms of self-destructive behavior as art. Cutting that occurs during a ritual is completely different than sitting in the middle of your room and cutting yourself because you think no one likes you.

I encourage any cutter out there to not use cutting as a form of expression. There are many healthy ways to express yourself and not end up in the emergency room or an institution (like I did). Maybe I am not familiar with fetishes and pain enjoyment, but I think that anyone who cuts him or herself has a little more going on than just a liking for blood.

When I cut, it was a need to make myself hurt. It became addicting and overwhelming. A day did not pass that I did not hack my body. As some stories mentioned, a razor can do the trick. But, if you have an addictive behavior, a razor will no longer be good enough and you will find yourself chopping your body with a hunting knife. I never drank my blood. I don't even like the sight of blood now. But when I cut it was all about the blood flow. The more I bled, the better I felt. I despised having to clean up the blood before my family would see it. The blood was a symbol of my pain and I liked it. The blood was feeding my desire to feel pain, because I thought that was all I deserved. Reflecting back to last year (such a long time, I know!), I realize that I often internalized my mistakes and thought I deserved to be punished. I thought the best punishment would be to hurt myself.

I know my experience is a little extreme and obviously I suffered from a mental illness, but I do not see much difference between myself and other people who cut to relieve pain. It isn't right. If you are honest with yourself, you know it isn't right. Aside from the physical risks (loss of blood, scarring, nerve damage), there are many mental risks as well. Punishing your body for the way you feel is not going to improve your life. Instead, you will fall into secrets and lies and find yourself cutting even more.

I'm sorry if you read this and think its bullshit. I know some forms of body modification are extreme and a little bizarre. I just refuse to accept that cutting out of anger or hurt is beneficial to your self-esteem. Have some respect for body modification and only change your body if it is for a good reason. Self-hatred is not the proper motivation for hurting yourself and "modifying" your body.

I admit the thought of ritual cutting kind of trips me out, but I can deal with it. From what I conclude, the cutting seems more about the blood than hurting each other because everyone is 'bad.' I hope people can distinguish between ritual cutting, which seems healthy (almost!) and cutting on your body. However, if anyone wants to inform me about ritual cutting please do. Maybe if I know more about the practice it won't freak me out.

Without any more ado, The Reverend Liz is finished. I only hope that anyone out there with real emotional problems finds another outlet for their pain. Cutting to relieve pain only causes more scars, emotional and mental, which in turn leads to more cutting. It is a cycle that never seems to end and won't end unless something makes you change. Don't hurt your body. You know, treat it as a temple. What better way to decorate your temple than to adorn a tattoo that is totally 'you?' A symbolic tattoo is a great way to express yourself. If you don't dig tattoos, go for a piercing. Actually, do anything you want to your body. Just respect it.