It all started way back in 1981.
At A Glance Author ferg/bizarroboy Contact [email protected] IAM bizarroboy When A month ago
I was a rarely contributing member of my local football team: the Cumbernauld Colts � '2nd to none' was the motto and 2nd to none we routinely ended up in our wee backwater under-12 league.
I probably wasn't aware of it then but the times I spent labouring to be a part of that team helped harden me for a life of trials, tribulations and travelling more than anything else could have at that tender age.
I was 12 years old when our team took the bus to Tilburg in Holland and played a 3-match tournament with some of the local teams there. Needless to say we got humped by the Dutch lads (as we still do as a footballing nation) but I vividly remember how awestruck I seemed to be just by being in another country outside my home of Scotland and how uninterested I had suddenly become in the reason we were there in the first place � football. I just wanted to see things and touch things and speak to people and take photographs. I wanted to experience through sensory overload, this unusual place and not waste my time kicking a ball around.
And so it began in earnest.....my desire to travel to foreign lands. Fast-forward to 2002 and my latest foray into the American psyche.
Allow me to digress for a moment.
IAM is a place of diversity and distinctness; of womanhood and wonderment; of maleness and merriment; of controversy and courage but most of all it is a place of commonality.
A lot has been said about the need to 'keep together as a community' as the factions begin to hassle each other and emotions stir. IAM is just like the real world out there, where people jostle for social position and recognition sometimes to the detriment of others, unfortunately, but I feel this is an inherent aspect of any group of animals and it can be used as a healthy catalyst for personal development if approached in the correct way.
IAM has also shown me that the commonality we cherish so much can in fact be stronger than the outside world it claims to represent. Let me tell my story.
I've been a faithful contributing member of IAM for about 2 years, give or take a month or 2. I have tried my best to be articulate, challenging and polite as much as I can be, but no more so than I am in real life. I see this site and my page as an extension of myself, not a substitute. I am aware of the glaring inconsistencies that are easy for people to manipulate when they don't have to back up their on-screen personas with a real-time, 3-D one. I have also been a victim of my own preconceived expectations with regards consistency of behaviour. I too, have completely and utterly misjudged people from the information they present on their page, both in a positive and negative manner, as I'm sure some people have done the same to me. But this 5 week adventure, my exciting, experimental excursion into lives as yet untouched in reality by me, was an eye-opener beyond anything I had cared to imagine.
It is fair to say that my holiday would never have been even remotely possible without the existence of IAM. I would never have met even 10% of these people (and that's a healthy estimate) if it hadn't been for IAM. I would have been unable to navigate myself so efficiently around the country had it not been for the good people of IAM. I may well have been sleeping in doorways were it not for the generosity of those vibrant IAMers.
I had originally decided to go to the States for reasons unconnected to body modification. I had some 'family business' to attend to and I was hoping to see a bunch of old friends from Scotland that are peppered around the country. I value friendships probably more than anything else and I make a point of keeping them alive via letters, postcards, gifts and flying visits. My lifestyle dictates that I'm not in any one place for too long so it's difficult for some people to keep track of me over the years. I do enjoy the expressions on people's faces when they come to meet me at the airport, bus terminal or front door of their house and the ease at which the conversation can flow after breaks of even 5 or 6 years without much correspondence.
This is essentially where this particular trip differed.
I thought it was about time I met some of my longer-term buddies in the flesh. As I am currently holed up in Japan it is difficult to meet other IAMers outside the confines of my country and its near neighbours. I have met a few people over the last 2 years or so from Japan and Hong Kong but the bulk of my buddies reside in the USA. With limited funds and debts-a-mounting I had only one realistic option � to try and fit in as many of them as humanly possible during one long holiday.
And this is how I came to appreciate that our common factor of 'body modification and manipulation' can serve as a solid base for friendship, loving feelings and the mutual respect that comes from bonding with people face-to-face.
I originally gave myself about 5 weeks with which to try and meet approximately 30 different personalities residing in 11 different states. I was the one who had opted to do 95% of the travelling to meet these people as was only fair under the circumstances. I was asking that I be allowed to jump in and out of their lives at will (with some rudimentary organization on my part), experience them as I saw them at that particular juncture in their lives and hop on a plane, train or bus out of there, as quickly as I had arrived. I was asking 'strangers' to meet me alone, with friends, in bus stations, outside cafes, on street corners, before, during and after work. I was asking them to let me sleep in their house for a night or 2, sometimes 3 nights. I was asking them to spend time with me ranging from 5 hours to 3 whole days. I was asking them to do things with me that they normally wouldn't do. I was asking them to show me places that they normally wouldn't go to. I was asking them to take a substantial risk in meeting me in all honesty as I'm sure I'm not the only one to fall foul of the great 'internet - v - real life' debate. I was asking them to do a lot.
I had expected that most, maybe not all, people would be the nice, friendly person they projected on IAM with a few minor variations as is natural. I had expected that not everyone would be able to accommodate me in the way they would have liked to. I had expected that people may have had a bad day prior to meeting me and would then not be up to taking responsibility for this weary traveller. I had expected that things would possibly be slightly uncomfortable with some people.
Well, how wrong was I ?!?
I can't say how much I was impressed by people's generosity of spirit.
The myriad guises included, amongst other things: chauffeurs, house-keepers, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, brothers, future friends for life, tour guides, shoulders to cry on, lunch dates, dinner dates, baby-sitters, meeting of minds, fellow lads, me in drag, flashers, providers, teachers, students, beer partners, medicinal partners, nurses, social workers, partners in crime and a toucher of hearts long gone cold.
And all of these wonderful human beings live in the House of BME.
They are the people you see everyday when you skim through the homepages of souls from around the globe. They are all my friends and I feel genuinely honoured that they bothered to take the time to try and make my trip to see them as exciting and interesting as possible for me (and hopefully for them). They made my journey the resounding success I claim it to be.
My advice to you fellow reader is simple: Go out and meet people! Venture to lands you have never visited.
By all means use your time in front of the computer well (especially to help build the healthy, happy, happening community that has become IAM) but remember it only represents one small facet of life. And know, there really is no substitute for meeting people in the flesh; seeing them with the sun reflecting off their face; catching the aroma of a well-chosen scent as you slip by them on the way to the bar; feeling their slightly sweaty palm cross yours as they nervously introduce themselves; sharing a joke about 'that dopey President'; hearing how their voice is completely different to what you had imagined it to be; marvelling at how tall some people appear in their pictures and generally forging those bonds we know as 'friendship' - for you really can't have too many friends in this uncertain world of ours.
Thank you everyone for everything that you did for me.
VIVA IAM
Ferg/Bizarroboy