This story starts off sometime in early 1996, when I was at the ripe old age of 15.
At A Glance Author Vanessa Contact [email protected] IAM chloe When Five years ago Thanks to a talk show addiction I had, I was exposed to piercings. I should mention a bit about the city I lived in (and still do). Tucked away in the middle of nowhere, we had no piercing shops, and only one tattoo parlour that I can clearly remember. It was extremely rare to see someone walking around with a nose or eyebrow piercing. My only exposure to body modification in Western Society were those aforementioned talk shows and those very few people I saw with piercings. I didn't have access to the Internet or even to a computer. I was totally unaware that a modern "scene" existed out of piercings, thinking it only underground groups who performed such things.
Still, the people with piercings I saw on talk shows were enough to form a new obsession. I'd had my ears pierced when I was 2 and again when I was 6. My mother said that was enough. This was perhaps the most frustrating period of my life. I had always had image issues; ill at ease in my own skin. Finally, I felt I'd found something that would help change that and it was being denied to me. Though I'm sure I don't have to explain it, it wasn't just a matter of wanting to be pierced... I needed to be pierced.
Eventually, I'd had enough. I didn't care what my mom said, I was going to have more piercings. One night I took a safety pin and put some new holes in each lobe (bad, bad idea. Do not do it!) I don't feel I can properly explain how it made me feel. It was like I'd been holding my breath for years and was finally able to breathe. Time went on and I added more lobe piercings, some cartilage piercings, a navel and an eyebrow piercing. The latter two didn't last long. Still, this wasn't enough. I wanted something more. Another facial piercing was out of the question and I found it too difficult to pierce my body, so it would have to be something else in my ears. But what?
By this time I'd moved away from safety pins and onto real needles. My mom, a nurse, always made sure our first aid kit was filled with more than we'd ever need, so I had needles at my disposal.
I starred in a mirror at my left ear for quite sometime, examining the shape, the curves; looking for an interesting place to pierce. "What about this spot? I could put a ring in it and it would look so great" I thought. "That spot" as I would later find out, is the inner conch. To me though, it was a piercing through an indented part of my ear with a ring in it so as to encircle part of my ear. I lined up the needle and with a crunchy pop it was through. A cheap silver ring quickly followed (another bad idea).
I looked at it in the mirror in total awe. There was no blood, just redness. It was perfect and I swelled with pride. "Wow," I thought. "This is so original... I bet nobody has this!" It wasn't egotism in thinking I'd actually discovered a piercing, it was having only minor exposure to piercings and that I felt very alone in my desire to have them. I'd never seen an inner conch piercing so I was utterly unaware of their existence. Looking back now, I realize how naive I was. I cared for that piercing like it was a child and quite successfully healed it.
There were more piercings, but that inner conch piercing was my pride. I bet you're asking "What does this have to do with BME?" Right?
In the fall of 1997, I got a computer. After getting it all set up, with basic knowledge of the Internet and a borrowed account from a friend, I went straight to Yahoo. I entered in "body piercing" and clicked 'search.' A much shorter list of sites than you'd get now was returned. The first site on that list was BME. I clicked on the link and a new world opened in front of me. Smaller than it is now and at a different address, but it was BME. I must have spent hours browsing through all the wonderful pictures it had to offer.
There were so many people I couldn't believe it! I was so happy, excited, calmed... A multitude of emotions went through me. I had always imagined that the number of people who were involved with body piercing was much smaller. Here were countless pictures proving me wrong. I went through gallery after gallery, experience after experience, just absorbing it all. It felt good to know I wasn't strange in liking what I did. I wasn't alone on this particular path any more. I felt like I belonged somewhere. I was so happy I wanted to cry.
Sometime during all that browsing, I went through the ear piercing gallery. Among many other things, I saw inner conch piercings. I wasn't upset finding out I wasn't the only person with that piercing. Rather, I was relieved. I felt a connection to every person who had one. As time went on, I acquired more piercings and other modifications. I developed clearer ideas of what I was doing and wanted to do to change my physical appearance. BME inspired me and gave me a safety net of sorts; knowing I wasn't the only one gave me some much needed courage to hold my head high. I learned so much... I read all that I could, always wanting to know more. Whenever someone at school or on the street made a rude comment or stared too long I'd think of pictures I'd seen on BME... Pictures of people with far more piercings than I had, and I'd imagine what they had to go through. The fact that those people were brave enough to still do it helped me brush aside anything negative anyone said about my piercings.
It helped with dealing with my parents' reaction, too. I was well informed enough on the topic to clearly explain all the positives of it to my mother. She warmed up enough to the idea that she stopped showing obvious disappointment when I gave myself a new piercing and to see piercings as a positive aesthetic. Though my father has never really liked piercings, he too got to the point where it was no longer an issue with him.
Though the point may be somewhat muddled in amidst these personal anecdotes, I hope it's not too hidden to shine through. BME and the comparatively young IAM have helped me; in countless ways, on countless times. Had it not been for BME, I don't know where I'd be mentally or emotionally, though I feel I can safely say that my situation would be a lot less positive than it is now.
PS I still have that inner conch piercing (now with a proper 14ga CBR). Though simple, it will always be very special to me; a constant reminder of my eyes being opened to a new world and finding a place to think of as home.