By what others can see on the modified, there often stems criticism, disgust, curiosity, but most often, it's the questions that come out first. How can someone be willing to put their God-given body through such torment? And often, as one of the millions of modified people out there, I am given the speech that there's just no way that this could be considered healthy, and most definitely not art. Or even more so, religious.
At A Glance Author Courtney Contact [email protected] When N/A This has never been a problem for me in the past. While my obsession grew and my body modification experiences occurred more often than not, I became more and more aware of why I was doing this. It is clear in my head, but I have not yet managed to put it into words.
My best friend is what inspired this article. She was at first able to somewhat put aside my increasing interest in altering my body, both image and physical appearance, a few weeks ago she admitted to me that she felt it was pushing us apart. In her mentality, there is no reason. No possible cause of this. It hurt me at first, but I decide to try and use this as perhaps an anchor to force myself to delve deeper, to try and figure it out.
My first defense, the one that I had been leaning towards, was stress. Like a runner might run to reduce the level of stress they are experiencing, for me, getting a piercing offered the same relief. Is it the pain? No, it's definitely the rush. Anybody who remembers their first truly painful piercing experience knows that the endorphins released when you get the procedure done will offer a good feeling of freedom, or relaxation. The same process occurs when one exercises.
I then brought up the topic of it being somewhat euphoric, almost religious. She laughed at me. To some extent, she has a point. What makes an experience that special is the chemicals released in your brain to help deal with the pain. Something like a natural form of Morphine or Demerol. A natural narcotic, that will give anyone a buzz, hallucinations, fainting spells, or even cause bouts of heart palpitations. This is the explanation she gave me, and given she is majoring in psychology I suppose it is in her habits to find the logical answers to the human mind/body experience.
What was wrong with my explanation concerning stress? She points out to me that runners will exercise at least three times a week, to get the same rush every time. It would literally be unhealthy to get a modification that often, no matter how small the procedure. How can there be a steady balance? I tossed that out the window. We agreed that perhaps it was part of the answer, only a small percentage of it.
My next "defense", though I personally don't believe we should be required to defend our need to be modified, was that it was my own form of personal expression, and that I used it to reflect what makes me who I am, what defines me, and what I believe in. Of course, I was yet again met with a road block: she states that picking a design and applying it permanently to my skin was not art. Not mine to keep, anyway, and that having someone else poke a hole through various parts of my body was also not my own piece of art. Nor was allowing someone to burn or cut a blueprint on me.
Arguing that art is whatever one sees it as, I had a small victory. Piercing, in some twisted way, could be art. Supposing I picked the area, the jewelry and the artist, then yes, I had some if not complete control of the end-result, which I would have previously planned in my head. I stated that it was like a painter who imagined what they wanted to paint and went to a store to buy the paint, the brushes, and the canvas. I smiled and told her that while I did go out and "buy" (or pay for) ink and needles, I left out the canvas and used my body instead. Obviously, I could not do it on my own.
Once again, I compared it to something the general public, as well she, is more familiar with. Say one was going to go bungee jumping or sky diving. The likelihood of them preparing all the equipment on his/her own, without professional help, was slim, especially since his/her life could be directly destroyed by faulty preparations. On a side note, why do people skydive, especially amateurs? The same applies to body modification. Without the aid of someone who knows what they are doing, it could be rather disastrous. She proceeded to point out to me that, while both types of activities require the professional help of others, body modification was the only one that necessitated the voluntary harm of ones self.
Finally, my last defense: a way to be different. In this day and age, no matter how much you try and let your true individual self shine through traditional methods, such as drawing, writing, painting, sculpting, participating in different sports and classes, millions upon millions of people will do the same. And because it is traditional, it is not different. As an ex-journalism student, I had found some peace in knowing I was being myself by writing, but quit when I realized how much everyone else was themselves by writing. I made a point to say that it is the level or degree of how you are modified that can help you achieve how much you want to be. Some decide that as writing was for me, a navel piercing was different enough. Others, like me, decide that being different at a somewhat hushed level is best, however still do not let this impede on their plans. I have quite a few extreme modifications, but they can all be easily tucked away and hidden. Many others make the de cision that if they are going to be different, be true individuals, they are going to go all out. Personally, I have great admiration for those people. I simply have no courage to be so outwardly individualistic.
By no means did my friend, who I like to think represents the general non-modified public in her regards towards body mods, agree or accept my answer. She rushed at me with the answer the common answer that changing your body permanently is no way to be unique, nor is it safe. My response: why not? It is safe, done properly, and it is, by far, a way to be unique.
I ended our controversial talk right then and there, before she trampled and more of my ideas. Others that she had mentioned were that perhaps all of us modified had unresolved issues, or that most of us were bullied as kids and are trying to live up to and surpass what "bullies" can handle. Somehow I could see that coming from a Psychology student.
The point of this article is more of a question. Is there any true answer that can be given and accepted by all people, with all levels and types of education, as to why only humans have the need to exert harmful practices upon themselves? For the sake of what? Endless possibilities it seems. So many unanswerable questions, often too many to handle; to the point of sending a 15 year friendship down the drain? Yes.
By the end of our conversation, I was once again unsure of why I enjoyed modifying myself and we were butting heads like we never had in the past. Here's non-traditional change for you.