Reasons and Excuses
At A Glance
Author Dead Carnie
Contact Dead [email protected]
When N/A
My name is Dead Carnie and I have been modifying my body for over 2 years now. I am 20 years old and have been feigning for piercings since I was 12. Why? There are so many speculations as to why people voluntarily "harm" themselves by getting mods. I ran across an article on BME entitled "What's the fascination?". You can read that article here. This editorial made me think. The author gave many reasons for why people choose to poke holes in their bodies or get designs cut or burned into their skin. She gave the general reasons that we have all heard everywhere. These excuses for what we do are about as mainstream as getting your ears pierced at the mall. That's all they are. Excuses. Why do we do it? I have my own speculation to add to the cesspool of speculations.

My theory is simple. Addiction. I don't want to sit here and compare the modded community to a local house of crack junkies but think about it. We enjoy getting poked with needles and stretching our skin. If we didn't, we wouldn't do it. We get a rush from the pain that is inflicted during our various procedures. That's why people participate in suspensions. It has been described as the greatest high in the world. What makes people addicted to drugs? The feeling they get when they are on them, even if that feeling only lasts for a few minutes.

I have talked to many people about this theory. One of my best friends has 11 tattoos. He's 20 years old. He straight up told me he was addicted to them. I have talked to people who have multiple piercing. They have also told me that once they got the first one they immediately wanted another one. My friend just got her first tattoo. She told me that if she would have had the money she would have gotten another one that same day. Some people are addicted to modifications.

I got my first piercing when I was 18 (ears not included). It was a labret. Ever since that day I have been addicted to the experience of getting a new piercing. People who don't have any piercing don't understand this. Some people who do have piercing don't understand this. It's the whole experience that's just so totally different from any other experience in the world. It's the calm before, it's the nervousness as you walk through the door. It's the clamps, it's the needles, it's the jewelry. It's the finished product. It's the aftercare. It's 6 months down the road when you're still looking at it saying to yourself "hell yea".

This is most certainly not to assume that all body modifiers are addicted. I would never make a general assumption like that. That in and of its self takes away the individuality that every person owns. This is the opinion of me based on my experiences with modded individuals, mainstream individuals, and drug addicts. I do not expect everyone to agree with what I have said nor do I state any of this as fact. If the reader would indulge me for one moment and take a glance at the top where I dropped the word "theory". That is what this is. I know alot of people will get upset over the usage of the term "addiction". Whether it's because they truly believe differently or because they are in denial I do not know. What I do know is the modified lifestyle is an addiction for me. I can't not be a part of it. Kinda like I can't not wear the color black. Maybe I do use the wrong terms. Maybe I don't. When it comes down to syntax, though, that's when the issue gets lost and we are right back where we began. Defending our lifestyles all over again.

We are all constantly on defense when it comes to our altered bodies. And we all hope that one day this will all change. I dream that one day I won't hear "Did that hurt?". I dream that one day I can wear my piercing to work like other people wear their earrings. I dream that one day, editorials like these won't even be needed., that the mass population will look at me and not think I'm a freak that's going to burn in hell for changing the "body that god gave me." God gave me a body with soft skin to puncture with just enough elasticity to stretch.

The point is, and yes I do have one, whether it's a lifestyle, a way of expressing yourself, a spiritual thing, a way to stand out, a general release, or an addiction body modifications do not need to be defended constantly. You can't make everyone happy. That's not possible. Instead, make yourself happy. You are the one who will have to live with the choices and decisions you make. So make them yourself and don't let other people's reasons or excuses influence those choices. Do it your way, and for your own reasons. I know I do.


Dead Carnie
"I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to."



Disclaimer: The experience above was submitted by a BME reader and has not
been edited. We can not guarantee that the experience is accurate, truthful,
or contains valid or even safe advice. We strongly urge you to use BME and
other resources to educate yourself so you can make safe informed decisions.


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