Long have I spent my time considering what it means to be "modified," and I have yet to fully understand my viewpoint on it. To me, it can mean multiple things... and to some, it can mean simply one basic definition. However, as time goes by in my life, I find myself able to understand more and more as to the clarity of this concept. I've learnt that taking action on it is common, but fully understanding it is inexistent.
At A Glance Author Tramik Contact [email protected] When N/A Artist All The People Studio Razzmatattzz Location Regina, Sk, Canada My first remembrance of any piercing (besides the female ear) would be when I was eight years of age. A fellow student, in the third grade had his left ear pierced. Coincidently, he became a friend of mine... and not long after, I began to beg my parents to get my ear pierced. This is where it began.
Nearly two years went by, and I still wanted this single basic piercing. Of course, like so many other fathers, my dad was against it purely. He viewed piercing as sickening � the idea of harming your body while placing something foreign within it was a concept which he could not (even to this day) comprehend. My mother, however, didn't necessarily support the idea of piercing, but she did support me. She believed it was harmless and nothing more than a temporary faze I was going through. Besides, I had never stopped asking since I wanted it done. So one day, when my dad was away (working out of the city, for months at a time), my mom took me to the piercing shop in a local haircut saloon.
At the age of ten, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Stepping into that room to receive my first modification is what rooted who I am today. You may laugh at what I perceive to be a slight modification... however; it changed me both physically and mentally. Not only did I think it looked good, but it gave me a new sense of attitude, well-being, confidence, and charisma. It brought out a new life in me which I never thought possible.
With every new and old piercing, brings forth this feeling once again. It changes me not only on the surface, but also my inner being. Call me crazy... but it feeds me, it feeds my desire to change into something other than myself.
To me, that is modification. When something you take upon yourself to change who you are, for better or worse, succeeds. You have modified your soul.
So why it is so many people take this desire to modify their stature? This question nobody can answer, for every single person has their own reasons as to why they change. I'm seventeen years of age, and I have yet to meet a person (personally, face to face) which has been modified (mainly pierced) to my extent... so what drives me to this insanity...? Fate.
Early in our childhood we are taught by our teachers (parents, friends, family, associates) that we are who we are, we look how we look, and we should accept it. They display this in the manner that we should be proud of who we are, and that we are individuals in our own unique way. This is all true... except for the fact that we cannot change how we look. Most of us, once we understand that we can change, grasp this idea and run with it. Of course we have all changed subconsciously, but it is this awakening which gives us our freedom.
This is the key into my head; change. The ability to display my inner emotion on my surface is one of the many reasons which cause me to be a display of displeasure, because I am displeased with the events and reasoning within my life. Don't get me wrong, I am no whining teenager out for pure attention, however, I take it upon myself to express how I feel... rather then speak it.
I remember on a few occasions, when my father, mother and I sat down to talk. As usually my piercing "habits" came into topic, and I specifically remember my father saying to me, "When I look at you all I see is pain." And the single thought that crossed through my mind was always, "Good... A picture is worth a thousand words."
For multiple people, myself included, adjusting our image (outside and inside) helps us deal with our real life problems. If we like how we look, then other issues within our lives seem less significant.
"But why would someone express themselves in such a painful manner?" � This question has smacked me in the face on more than one occasion. Like everybody else, I have my reasons... and mine is simple. Pain is nothing more than a reality check, it awakens us. After a long while, most of heavily modified don't even feel a pain anymore, but a pleasure. We all do things on our outer image which hurt ourselves � you ladies cannot tell me that combing your knotted hair doesn't tickle a bit, nor can you guitar players tell me that your fingers do not sting after playing.
Overall, people change their outer appearance in many ways, some are painful, and others are not. But remember, pain is nothing more than a matter of view � for pain to some is pleasure, and pleasure to pain. If you honestly think you do not modify yourself (from your original state) at all, I suggest you never get a haircut, paint your nails, and most of all... break all your mirrors.
I am MODIFIED.