Do your research before you make outdated assumptions
At A Glance
Author Anyechka
Contact [email protected]
IAM HelplessDancer
When N/A
This kind of thing, which was written by a rabbi who affiliates with the Traditional movement, really bothers and upsets me. I am a very religious person and could easily see myself affiliating with a more liberal Orthodox congregation one day if they resolve some of their issues with womens' roles, for example. And right now I proudly serve as an example of someone who is modified (albeit not yet near as much as I eventually plan to be, since I'm just seriously getting started) and also religious. I have not suddenly become an atheist or heavily involved in the heavy metal scene just because I now have a pierced nostril and am almost done with the minor stretching on the second set of holes in my earlobes. I've decided to bring them up to a 12 gauge and then start to work on getting all of the rest of my ears pierced, like a little ladder. I have also been losing weight since I graduated college last year an d maybe ten more pounds down the line will feel I have lost enough weight for a navel barbell. My other future piercings, none of which are going to impact my religiosity, will be my eyebrow, maybe a bridge, and a Monroe (if it looks flattering on my face that is�I have immature facial features and a very round face, so it might not look as good on me as it does on someone with a more mature facial build). My being religious has nothing to do with not wanting to get further mods beyond those�it's just that others, such as the tongue, for example, just don't interest me personally.

Maybe twenty years ago what this guy wrote would have been considered correct and up-to-date, but now it just seems out of touch. Gone are the days when tattoos and piercings were associated with the heavy metal crowd and with bikers. I don't even like heavy metal music! That's really interesting to be informed that I'm probably doing it to emulate the heavy metal scene, or that I'm doing it to call attention to myself, or have serious problems I'm dealing with through "self-mutilation." And what's with his comment about how you stand a risk of getting AIDS or Hepatitis through improperly sterilised needles? Obviously this is true to some degree, but any reputable piercing studio doesn't reuse needles, and they have to pass regular health inspections! Has he even been inside of a studio or done any research into how they operate? I stood a greater chance of getting AIDS when I had my ears gunned for the first time in 1987, back before blood was screened for the deadly virus and it was so widely misunderstood and hard to treat. An unsanitary unsterilised piercing gun used during the first decade of the AIDS crisis is a whole lot more dangerous than an autoclaved needle! He says he's spoken to doctors and surgeons, who don't consider body modification to be cosmetic surgery. Oh yes, those bastions of impartiality. And who ever even suggested that body modification is cosmetic surgery? The two are nothing alike!

Take a look around, buddy. Bikers and heavy metal fans are far from the only people who have body piercings now. I even knew one right-wing Republican in the Air Force ROTC back at uni who got his labret done! Body piercing hasn't been associated with heavy metal culture for a long time!

This writing, by a Conservative rabbi, is more sensible, though at the end it once again becomes presumptuous, basically telling me why I am interested in piercing. I love it when people presume to tell you your own personal feelings are wrong and they know the real reason you feel that way, as though they're inside of your mind. It reminds me of one episode of Divorce Court, where the wife wouldn't let her husband go to hospital when he was having attacks of sickle cell anemia, because "he wasn't in that much pain." She wasn't inside of his mind and body! She's not God, or her husband himself!

This responsa makes some very sensible points, such as pointing out that body piercing is not forbidden anywhere in the Bible. It also wisely states that it's "our obligation to preserve the health of our body," and therefore must make sure we have body piercings done under strictly controlled sterile conditions, so that we won't catch diseases. That's a great argument right there to avoid piercing guns! It also finally points out that we must respect our parents and therefore not have body modifications done if they disapprove. I agree. If you want it that badly at fifteen or so, it's not going to kill you if you have to wait three more years before you come of legal age. Anything that special and meaningful is worth the wait, whether it's marriage, your first tattoo or non-ear piercing, sex, having a child, whatever. Wouldn't you rather slowly savour gourmet chocolate, unwrapping the foil bit by tiny bit and then slowly letting it melt in your mouth, instead of just uncouthly gobbling some cheap cookie like it meant nothing and was worth nothing? And by waiting a few more years to come of legal age, you're making sure you still really want it, and have more mature insight into it by then, like fully understanding all of the social repercussions it potentially might have, or proper aftercare, whatever. Most teenage marriages fail, for example, because they were entered into for the wrong reasons, and at the wrong age. Why should mods be any different? By waiting a little longer you make absolute sure that you're doing it for the right reasons and will always want that particular mod.

I hate the closing paragraph, "While I would chastise any member of my congregation who publically [sic] humiliated a guest because he or she was multiply pierced, I would also suppose that the pierced individual was seeking extra attention for his/her unusual appearance -- otherwise, why bother placing rings in non-standard places!? In other words, if you make the choice to alter the appearance God gave you in ways that are designed to attract attention, you can't complain too much that some of the attention you receive is negative."

Um, yeah, if you're not used to seeing someone with multiple piercings you probably will stare at first, or if you're meeting someone new who has a piercing, even if you're used to seeing them, your eyes might catch on that shiny bit of metal for a few seconds. But once you get used to seeing them, you won't stare anymore. It's just something that's there. I'm not seeking any extra attention through my nostril piercing and my slightly stretched upper earlobe piercings, nor will I get the entire rest of my earlobes and cartilage, navel, Monroe, eyebrow, and possibly bridge pierced just to attract attention. Maybe I just like the way they look. The first time I saw someone with majorly multiply-pierced ears was in I believe 1986, on the girl in the ticket booth when my grandparents and I drove up to the entrance of Idlewild Park in Ligonier, PA. Both of her ears had earrings in them from the lobes up to the upper cartilage. At six years old I wasn't afraid or gawking; I thought it looked really awesome and wanted to one day have ears just like that, pierced all of the way up.

It's not non-standard in other cultures to get places besides the ear pierced. Most women in India have their nostrils pierced, and in places such as Africa and the Pacific Islands it's very common to have your septum and labret done. I have every right to complain if I get negative attention when I have all of the mods I intend to get; you're the one with such a closed mind you can't get beyond the fact that most people get pierced because they like it, for spiritual reasons, to reclaim parts of their body, for cultural reasons, not because they were seeking extra attention or trying to emulate a heavy metal rock band. My paternal grandmother hasn't seen my nostril stud yet (she lives in PA, about eight hours away), but my father told her about it, and she actually didn't mind finding out. (Now telling her I've been Jewish since I was 18, that she might react differently to!)

I can't wait to see if my Hassidic friends back in my college town have any reaction to the nice religious girl they know and love when I go back there to visit next month and find that now I'm a nice religious modded girl!



Disclaimer: The experience above was submitted by a BME reader and has not
been edited. We can not guarantee that the experience is accurate, truthful,
or contains valid or even safe advice. We strongly urge you to use BME and
other resources to educate yourself so you can make safe informed decisions.


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