I'd like to comment on a recent experience I had when getting my last piercing, which was my tongue. I'm sure this phenomenon isn't new...it seems that whenever something becomes "popular", be it body modification or a music genre, people start to categorize. Suddenly certain aspects of the topic become better or worse, or more or less valid, than other aspects.
At A Glance Author destroyed Contact [email protected] IAM destroyed When N/A I'm sure most people can relate to the "teeny bopper" or cheerleader stereotype of the ultra-perky teenage girl that uses more teenspeak than an AOL chatroom, and goes and gets her navel pierced because it's "kewl" or because Brittney Spears has it done. I'm not saying, by any means, that there are any right or wrong reasons to get a mod...everyone knows what they want and why, and if it's the right reason for you, then it's the right reason period. But people who don't share that view or that reason, or don't think it's "good enough", tend to look down on it for some reason, maybe to validate themselves, or to think they are at a more advanced or higher place than the person they are judging.
On the other end of the spectrum are people like The Lizardman; the "freaks". The people that some look at and say "My god!!! Why would someone want to do that to themselves?" Again, the same holds true here. Everyone has their reasons and ways of expressing themselves, and those that look down on the "freaks" feel above them, apparently, because they are somehow more diginified or refine than those people.
But what of people like me? I get the mods I like, and for my own reasons, just like anyone, but I don't fit into the cheerleader category, and I don't fit into the freak category. From the outside, I look relatively "normal". None of my 4 tattoos show when I have on a t-shirt and jeans, and the only piercings visible are my lobes (6 gauge...nothing too "extreme"), my conch, snug, and eyebrow, piercing that many people have. What people that look at me, and people like me, don't see or know is that I also have a genital tattoo and have experienced and liked such things as play piercing and BDSM...things that the majority of the public, whether modified or not, are most likely not into. I'm sure if some people knew these things about me, their opinion would change...but why should it? If they form an opinion on me, or anyone else, by getting to know them and interacting with them, what difference should it make if they later find out someone is kinky, tattooed, or gay?< p> Anyway, the experience I had that lead me to consider this topic and express these views was the new counter girl at my usual studio. I have been there for every one of my mods since I started getting piercings and ink done regularly, and one of the main reasons I go there is because, as with most tattoo and piercing studios, the artists and workers are more heavily modified, with visible tats, and many and larger gauge piercings, but never once have I been judged on the mod I choose to get, or my reason for getting it. They respect that it's an individual decision, and the only time I have been steered away from a mod is if my anatomy is not suited to it, or it really wouldn't look right on me. For example, my piercer advised against my septum, saying it wouldn't look "right" on me...but I also know, if I hadn't changed my mind, he would have allowed me to get the piercing, and the only reason he said anything in the first place is because we are familiar with one anothe r.
However, the new counter girl didn't feel that way. I had a bit of a wait before I could get my tongue pierced as there were two people before me, and I was chatting with her about her ear work, a conch to tragus industrial done with a slave barbell. That lead to discussions on other topics, and we eventually got to talking about "heavier" things, like suspensions and branding. I'm interested in both and expressed that, and she said I "didn't look like the type that would do something like that."
I know she didn't mean this comment to be offensive, but even that is part of it...the very idea that she wouldn't consider that she's classifying and stereotyping someone right to their face as a problem. Body modification and ritual is supposed to be about individualism and self expression...not about which niche of it you fit into. Even the cheerleader with the pierced navel and the butterfly tattoo on her lower back knows what it is to be modified. She knows the feelings before, during, and after the procedure, the consideration that goes into it, and the commitment that it is to modify your body permanently. A tattoo is definitely a commitment, because even though you can have them removed, the process is painful and expensive, and even if you remove a smaller gauge piercing, you'll likely be left with a permanent scar. The cheerleader, the freak, or someone like me are all part of the same community...we have all gone through the process, the pain, and the mental aspect of getting a mod done. So why is the freak with the facial tattoos, full sleeves, and 5/8 lobes any better or worse than the cheerleader the butterfly, or the tomboy with the eyebrow and a few not-usually-visible tats, that prefers to keep certain parts of the their modification, ritual, and sexual experiences out of the public eye?
I think it's a part of human nature and ego to want to be better or above certain people, but it's all a matter of perspective. While someone may think less of our hypothetical cheerleader than someone with a full back piece, possibly to that cheerleader's parents or grandmother she has done something just as extreme as becoming a eunuch. Just because some people in the modded community have become desensitized, jaded, blind, or judgemental to certain types of people or certain modifications doesn't mean that they belong to any one group, as there may be things about that person they have chosen not to reveal, and it doesn't mean that the modification means any less to them.
This is the first time I've had an experience like that, but I also know that the thinking, unfortunately, isn't all that rare. I think it's time to think of body modification not as mainstream, extreme, or to be divided into several different categories or classes of people, but to remember the two key points that body mod is all about: 1) That body modification is an individual and personal experience and 2) That while everyone body mods are unique and personal to them, they and the experience of getting and wearing them make us all part of one "tribe" and one community, and we should consider ourselves fortunate in that respect, and not divide ourselves by turning this beautiful and individual thing into Body Modification Survivor, and voting certain people out of our group just because they have what someone perceives as too much, too little, or the wrong reason.