I belong to two communities: the body modification community, and the community of the mentally ill. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, and I'll personally attest to the community of those with mental illness as being just as close knit as the community of those with an interest in body modification.
At A Glance Author destroyed Contact [email protected] IAM destroyed When N/A First of all, I'd like to make clear the connection I believe exists between body modification and self injury. You, dear reader, are of course welcome to disagree with me. This is just my personal view. While not all those who modify their bodies with piercings, brandings, tattoos and the like are self injurers, and not all those who self injure modify their bodies, there is a bit of overlap. I know of many people, including myself, that use modifications as a form of "safer" self injury...to channel the intense feelings of a mental or emotional disorder into the pain of a modification.
There is also a deeper connection for many self injurers, one they may not even realize. Any form of self injury is a body ritual. While the SI may not occur for the look of the end result, the process definitely has several trapping of ritual. Some injurers will only use certain methods or implements, and some only certain locations, either in geography like their room, or on their body like their upper arms. The ritual of SI is a release, an accomplishment, and a deeply personal experience. For me, it releases emotions that are disproportionately intense, that I do not have the skills to handle. For others, it's a release of hatred against themselves or others. Some do it to "prove" to themselves that they are in control. Still others may have their own reasons. I personally see it as no different then performing a suspension...it is a personal rite and ritual, with the asthetics of the end result not the focus, for the purpose of personal release, accomplishment, or gain.
SI is usually the result of a mental illness or emotional disturbance. Still, if people chose to injure themselves, while it may not be "rational", it is their choice. It is their body.
The real issue then, is safety. For people who enjoy the feel or atmosphere of being pierced more than they enjoy the piercing, "play piercing" needles are available. They are sterile, readily available, inexpensive, individually packaged, and made for piercing the skin. While recreational piercing is not their technically intended purpose, some people in the bod mod community use them as such. Where, though, would one get, "self injury" razor blades?
Scalpels, of course. One small problem. Needles are far more readily available then scalpels. I have never had a problem going into any pharmacy or animal supply store and purchasing injection-intended needles. I wouldn't even begin to know where to look, other than BME shop, for a scalpel. Scalpels are also much more expensive, and even if neither of those were the case, let's face it. A scalpel is deadly sharp. Enough people who SI often cut deeper than intended with other implements...it might not be a wise idea to place something made for cutting extraordinarily deep into flesh in my hand when I'm upset enough to cut.
So what do most self injurers use in their rites and rituals? Often, whatever's handy. Knives, razor blades, sharpened pencils, you name it, probably. Someone who is about to injure themselves just wants it done. But these things are not safe. It's like piercing yourself with a safety pin, and how many self injurers really think of sterility when in that frame of mind? I know I don't.
Wouldn't it be handy then, to have something near that's safer, both from a contamination and injury standpoint close at hand? What about a box of 100 play piercing needles? They are sterile, for one thing. Even if you don't clean the area to be pierced beforehand, this already lowers your chance of introducing obviously unsavory things into your system, like whatever bacteria is lurking on your pocketknife from that apple you cut this afternoon.
It's the pain you're after? They hurt. Trust me they hurt. There are lots of sensitive areas on the body that it smarts to jam a needle into. Some people don't feel pain when they are injuring and want the damage or the blood. You'll get both. Needles leave marks. And what do you think are used for blood play? That's right...hollow needles. The only thing is, you won't have several healing gashes on your bodily target of choice. You will know they are there, and what you did...the only thing is, when you "snap out of it", you'll be about the only one that will know they are there. You won't have slices to explain and/or be embarrassed of.
I want to make it very clear that I am not advocating these sorts of body rituals, but those who SI will do it, and if one overcomes the "problem", someone else will take their place. Others don't want to stop...they get someting out of SI that nothing else could take the place of. I'll say only this...whatever your body ritual of choice, and whatever your reason, be as safe as possible. You don't see suspensions performed with hooks that have been used in a machine shop for months, do you? At least you shouldn't. While I don't advocate SI even though I do occasionally practice it, I do advocate doing whatever you choose to do, or feel you must do, with your body as safely as possible. Most people who SI are not attempting suicide...don't commit it by accident or by delayed infection.
I see the mental "benefits" of SI no differently than I do any other body rite or ritual, and it should be done just as safely. I know what it feels like to want to harm yourself, and I know what the "aftermath" entails. I'd just like to suggest that if you do, choose to, or feel you must take this route with your body, to put the rusty pocket knife away. There are much safer options out there.