At A Glance
Author	anonymous
Contact	[email protected]
When	N/A

Note to my Parents, or How Body Modification Saved Me

I Am Dead.
Every day I force myself up to go to school. But not for me. For my parents. I do the work there for my parents. I put up with the people and jump through all these hoops just for them. I force myself to stay alive. Not for me, but for the people that say they care about me. I could never cause the pain that comes with a death. Not to anyone that has taken the time to care about me. The more a succeed, the harder I must be working. Stressing and tiring myself out for the benefit of others. This is what makes me feel dead. I don't do anything for me, it seems.

I got my piercing. Though it is a tiny 14ga, pretty mainstream (not that that's a bad thing) tongue stud, it meant, and still means practically the world to me. (A more recent perk was that it was a huge factor in me getting my first kiss..)

After I acquired this piercing, for the first time, I looked in the mirror and didn't feel like nothing. I didn't feel like I wasn't important anymore. For once, I could live for me, not for others. And I had a genuine longing to go on living that, before, I didn't really have.

I figure it's because for as long as I've been around, I've been told what to be. That isn't a very fulfilling existence. Being shot around by nothing but the most times overwhelming demands of other people. I've tried to get around it in some ways, i.e. refusing to dress like a stereotypical female. I wear what I like, not what t.v. tells me to like.

A lot of people are telling me now that I can't have these piercings. They are telling me to live for others and by others' rules, like I did before, before when I felt the best thing to do was to shut up and lay down and curly up and die.

I wish they understood.

If they understood, they would let me have them.

It was really torture to have to go against something a parent wished so I could get my piercing.
She just doesn't understand how incredibly important to me it is, and how this is my body, not "god's" or her's.

My ears were pierced when I was a very small child. There was no significant meaning behind it. It was done because I was born a female. So, these piercings were put on me without my consent so I could better fit into a stereotype that was influenced by society's view of what a female has to look like. I don't want to be any part of that.

Since my first piercing had so much meaning behind it, I would very much like to make all my mods have this same kind of meaning. The only way to do this is to stretch my lobes.


I'm not exactly sure if any of these reasons for having such a liking for certain things seem stupid or callow, but they mean a lot to me...so because YOU don't agree with me in their greatness doesn't give you or anyone else the right to denounce them.


SO CAN I HAVE MY BODY BACK NOW???


I presume the answer will be no. I don't even know why I let you read this. You'll just think it's stupid and still not understand why I'm into piercings or just assume it's a 'phase'. You'll probably stick with that thought to make yourself feel better until I'm thirty-five.
Oh well. Your closed-minded, self-centered loss. Good luck with growing a mind outside the crap drilled into since childhood! :D

And, I do understand that I am considered too young to be getting pierced because apparently "I don't know what I want and am not ready to make permanent decisions." Whenever this comes out of someone's mouth, I hear, "you're a little teenager, and you don't know shit about you're own life or what makes you happy, because when I was your age, I ran around doing stupid stuff, and because I had a lack of common sense, you must also." *makes angsty iconoclast face*

One more comment, I don't intend to generalize or anything, but from my experience, modded people are the nicer, more accepting people, not at all the bad influence you've made them out to be. And now I have my piercing and other peoples' closed-mindedness to thank for my tendance to respond with "more power to ya!" when anyone confronts me with their political views, sexual orientation, religious preference, etc.

Thank you for actually taking the time to read, I would love to know what you think.