Since I received my triangle piercing in December 2003, I secretly harbored the desire to make love to a man with pierced genitals. I had already experienced lovemaking with modified women, but was intensely curious to try it with a male. This editorial is a very personal and detailed account of my experience in making this fantasy into reality. As you will see, I got more than I bargained for on many accounts.
At A Glance Author Anne Contact [email protected] IAM kleptesvirgo When Three months ago Artist Brian Decker Location NYC Prior to the Piercing
Atom and I had been dating on and off for almost two years, and I love him very much. I have a much-appreciated triangle piercing, and was very keen on the idea that Atom would receive a genital piercing as well. During the summer of 2004, I got him a pair of hafadas for his birthday. Sadly, both migrated out. Less than 24 hours after he removed the second piece of jewelry in April of 2005, he typed a message to Brian Decker, a modification artist we both frequent here in NYC. He set up an appointment to receive an apadravya piercing the next afternoon, much to my excitement.
I had read the multiple legends surrounding this piercing, especially concerning the initial pain and promise of pleasure. And unfortunately, I didn't give serious thought to the fact that Atom and I would have to be 100% abstinent while he healed. I received my triangle and healed easily because we were apart for three weeks during my recovery. It was only after the piercing that I realized I would have to patient and caring while Atom healed; and while it's easy for me to be caring, I am not patient in the slightest when it comes to sex.
But I didn't realize this, and happily agreed to Atom's decision.The Piercing
The next morning, Atom showered carefully and I made vegan chocolate chip pancakes to ensure that his blood sugar would remain intact. We traveled to the studio together. Upon arrival, we greeted Brian and were brought back to his private piercing room. Brian asked Atom to take out his penis so he could examine and mark it. Atom did so, and Brian used calipers to measure the head of his penis to ensure proper-fitting jewelry. Atom originally wanted the piercing to be done with a six gauge needle, but the only semi-suitable piece of jewelry Brian had on hand was an 8 gauge barbell which measured an inch and a half long. I held the barbell in my hand prior to it being autoclaved, and it looked huge. Brian pointed out that the too-big jewelry would be a good deterrent from us trying to have sex before Atom healed. I agreed, and that was that. Little did I know how much I would regret this decision in the future � and how much I would learn from it.
Brian told Atom he'd pierce him with a 10 gauge needle and then stretch up immediately to an 8 gauge using a taper. This would cut down on bleeding significantly. Brian autoclaved the jewelry and tools to be used, and Atom relaxed on the table. I held his digital camera, ready to document the procedure.
Atom's penis was pulled through the top of his unbuttoned pants. Brian cut a hole in a piece of surgical-type paper and fitted it over Atom's penis. He then marked and clamped Atom. I took pictures, and paused to ask Atom if he wanted to hold my hand. He shook his head.
Brian told him to take a deep breath in, and then pushed the needle through the head of his penis. He had a bit of trouble getting it though the tougher skin on the underside of the penis, and Atom took another ragged breath as the needle finally made its way out. He was pale, and I took pictures of the needle as he waited for the pain to subside.
After Atom recovered, Brian pushed the well-lubed taper through the fresh piercing. I ended up holding Atom's hand for this part, and he squeezed me hard as Brian finished the piercing. He then inserted the jewelry, and Atom rested a bit.The First Week
Atom soaked and cleaned his piercing, and we managed to keep our hands completely off it for the first three days. On the fourth day after the piercing, we experimented a bit and Atom got aroused. I very cautiously attempted to give him oral sex. The barbell felt a bit funny, but the metal was extremely pleasing for me to have in my mouth. I was terrified of hurting him, however. He assured me that he felt no pain, but he was extremely sensitive, and when he got an erection, he bled. We stopped immediately and decided to wait a bit longer before trying anymore sexual activity . . .
. . and two days later, we ended up fooling around again. Atom's fresh piercing was still extremely sensitive, so when I gave him oral sex, I concentrated on the shaft of his penis and avoided the barbell all together. Atom had his first orgasm in five days, much to his relief. We did some more delicate experimentation, but abstained from actual intercourse.The Second Week
At this point, we might have attempted intercourse, but another factor besides Atom's sensitivity kept us away from trying. As I previously mentioned, the barbell in Atom's penis was too large to make sex comfortable. It measured an inch and a half, and was about six to seven millimeters too big for penetration. Atom would have been better fitted with a barbell measuring and inch and three eighths. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise, however, because it forced us to wait before trying to have sex as Brian predicted. This probably helped Atom heal better in the long run. However, I was getting sexually frustrated at this point.
Looking back on this time, I realize now it wasn't the sex I missed. It was the intimacy. Atom could barely touch me without getting aroused, which led to pain. So he kept his hands and lips off me entirely. This hurt me, and led to several frustrating arguments. I wish I hadn't taken it so personally; I made myself even more upset.
Another interesting factor that presented itself at this time was my growing ability to sense when Atom had an erection. We'd start to kiss, and after a few caresses I learned to sense when he was getting physically aroused. We'd stop at that point, because getting an erection still caused him discomfort. But through his piercing experience, I developed a sixth sense ability to tell exactly when he was getting hard. This skill continued to serve me well after Atom healed � I became very adept at teasing him!
Atom continued to soak and care for his piercing, which was lymphing constantlyThe Third Week
At the end of the third week I fully expected to be writing, in detail, our first attempt at love-making since Atom received his apadravya. However, this was not the case. Erections caused him less pain now, but sex was still out of the question. Besides, Atom still needed to change the bar to a proper size.
Atom continued to soak regularly, and bike-riding became an option again.The Fourth Week
A full month had passed since the initial piercing, and Atom and I still hadn't had sex. I'll admit: I was about to go out of my mind. As I already mentioned, it wasn't the lack of sex that bothered me as much as the lack of intimacy. It's extremely difficult to feel sexually appealing when your significant other isn't the slightest bit interested in touching you or getting an erection.
Just when I thought I was going to go out of my mind, Atom's condition improved. He was able to get painless erections and enjoy firmer stimulation. It became clear that all we needed to do was change the bar to a shorter size. Then we could have sex.The Fifth Week
Atom began to soak his new piercing less religiously. There continued to be a build-up of lymph, but otherwise, he was less sensitive overall. We just had to mindful not to knock the piercing around. Atom finally ordered new jewelry for his apadravya; an eight gauge, 1 3/8th" titanium barbell with stainless steel balls. We both knew that the second the jewelry arrived, we'd make love for the first time with his new piercing. I anxiously awaited the arrival of the new jewelry and began researching online to find smartie beads. I knew that I might find the balls on the end of the barbell uncomfortable, and smartie beads looked like a good way to avoid any potential pain.The Sixth Week
When Atom ordered his new barbell, he specified 2nd day shipping. However, the company neglected to say they had to order the jewelry from their warehouse and it would take an extra week. Furthermore, we missed the UPS man repeatedly because we were working and away from the house. I was so disappointed � we were so close to making love again! I'd seriously advise couples to purchase new jewelry in advance, so this doesn't happen to you.
At the end of the sixth week, we were fooling around heavily and I was teasing Atom in bed. To this day, I honestly do not know what made me push his penis into me, hard, but I did it. Atom was surprised as I was, obviously, but luckily experienced very little pain. We carefully make love for the first time since he received the piercing, and it was strange and erotic.
I used one of my trusty vibrators on my clit as we had sex. The combination of the barbells pushing against my g-spot and the stimulation of the vibrator made me reach orgasm in record time � no joke. After a minute and a half, I came hard. All the previous worried that the barbell balls would hurt were unfounded. They felt amazing. It was also the second time in my life I was able to achieve orgasm while having sex. I know this was partially because of Atom's new apadravya.
All we had to do now was wait for the proper jewelry; I didn't relish the idea of jamming the jewelry in me again.The Two Month Mark
The new, proper fitting jewelry arrived and Atom inserted it while I was at work. Since then, we've made love several times with mixed results. It's difficult and frustrating. Our favorite position (me on top) is not very comfortable anymore � it's too difficult for Atom to insert himself into me in many positions. The barbell is still large and catches on my hymen. This hurts both him and me, and results in a loss of erection. We then have to start all over again. This understandably hurts Atom's ego and frustrates me.
Oral sex is still a bit difficult. When I move the bar too much, it hurts Atom. It feels like our bedroom antics have become tainted with an air of caution, which is no fun. No one wants to have wild sex and feel the need to ask their partner every ten seconds if they're okay.
True, the feel of the apadravya beads is amazing. But was all this heartache, waiting, pressure, and pain have stained this experience bitter-colored. I believe we need to give this new piercing another month to heal, at least. Atom is still lymphing away merrily, and it's still relatively early to make any major decisions concerning its removal. We can try smaller beads to reduce the length of the jewelry as well.
Atom and I got through the healing of the jewelry together through communicating our worries, needs, and fears to each other. I fought my impatience and Atom battled against enormous pain and performance anxiety. I believe we've grown closer as a result of this life-altering modification, and I am grateful for that. Only the future can tell whether we will find sexual nirvana through this new piercing, or decide to produce its demise. One thing is clear, though: true love really does wait.*Brian has opened his own personal studio since I wrote this editorial, "Pure Modifications" in Brooklyn. His former studio on Canal Street has closed.