As I read through the court summons that I received in the mail (only a traffic violation.) I come to a part that I have to read over and over again to try and understand.
At A Glance Author Pygmy Contact [email protected] When N/A "Also, PROPER ATTIRE IS REQUIRED. This includes all modest clean and appropriate clothing, and no facial piercing."
No facial piercing? Um, pardon my outburst but, WHAT THE HELL? Does the fact that I have an anti-brow piercing determine if I'm a respectable, decent human being? Like a tiny piece of metal, many times mistaken for a sticker on my face, can place me in a certain subculture of ne'er do wells and hoodlums. Well, my friend, according to the honorable Judge John Lohn, and Medina County, yes, yes it does.
So spit on me, call me scum, I chose to "mutilate" my body therefore I must not be right in the head. These right-winged politicians have to put everything in its place, Nice and orderly and false. It doesn't matter how many hours I put into volunteering or how many needy people I help, No, it doesn't matter if I have a 4.0 GPA and charisma coming out every orifice in my body... One look is all it takes and there they have me, put in my place, with the others, the ones that mutilate themselves and sniff glue, drink vanilla extract and cough syrup.
I guess what's even more ridiculous is that if I color my hair, or darken my makeup I turn into even more of super villain. Suddenly fear springs into hate and I'm no longer considered 'modest, clean and appropriate." I'm struck down in every aspect of the word. People see vibrant pink radiating from a pierced face their inner alarm goes off. They gasp in horror, "OH GOD, A SATANIST!" (Yes, people have actually assumed this many times, based on looks alone, and no, I'm not.)
So all I really want now is just a little bit of understanding, communication and realization. I'm not a bad person, really I'm not. I'm not a girl with self destructive behaviors. I'm not an anti-social criminal mind.... I'm just like everyone with any decent amount of compassion left in them. So unique and beautiful...piercing or not. I know for a fact I'm far from alone on this situation. People of all different interests and backgrounds have dealt with the same significant ostracizing as I am dealing with now, and not just on the subject of body modification... and you know what? IT SUCKS.
When will people ever learn that it's not what a person does to their body or beliefs, it's what the motivation is behind their actions. For me it's because I'm not comfortable in my body. The only time I truly feel radiant and a little closer to 'completion' is when I get a new tattoo, or my piercing has finally healed. So why should I get rid of true happiness because it's too taboo for society's eyes? Why should I throw away one of the things that makes me who I am? Well I don't know about you and your views on society but just because backwards Northeast Ohio folks don't understand the point of body modification, does NOT mean that I will change my ways just so that I can work in a stuffy office eight hours a day.
And it feels, sometimes, that no matter how hard I smile and say 'have a nice day.' People assume the same things. No, I'm not saying EVERYONE is as closed off as certain government officials, but the majority of Medina County has made it very clear that they think I'm some kind of disgusting creature. But not by just coming up and saying it to my face. They choose to whisper, and ask me stupid, belittling questions. To make it worse they stare, and normally I wouldn't have a problem with staring... but they don't look at me with interest and intrigue... it's a far more sinister look, like I'm polluting their vision by dirtying up this great nation.
Hoodlum, Ne'er do well, Satanist. They think I'm angst-ridden.
Maybe I am just full of teenage angst, maybe I'm just some dumb kid who needs something to rebel against. Why else would I mutilate my beautiful face with these harsh flesh probes and horrifying scar tissue? No, I know why, and it isn't angst or rebel yell, It's because I'm damaged in the head, mentally unstable. Only psychopath's get tattoos
Or maybe that's what they'd like to hear.
I'm sorry Judge John Lohn. I apologize profusely Medina County... I feel so bad Mr. President, sir... that I cannot clean up my image long enough for me to become an ideal American. I'm disgusted at myself that I mutilate my body with bars through my flesh and indelible ink on my skin. Please forgive me America, and god save my soul.
Because I'm not giving up that easily.