For the last two and a half years I have been living in Thailand, teaching English. I returned to the States last week to start grad school: a PhD in physics at a uni in my home state.
At A Glance Author Shift Contact [email protected] When It just happened Location Bangkok I had always been interested in body modification in college and high school, but I never did anything about it. Never went through with getting done what I wanted done. I was a wimp. I did not want to deal with people making judgments based on how I looked. Plus, I was always a pretty clean-cut, athletic, frat guy. Extreme body mods did not really go down well with my friends. However, when I moved 8000 miles away from home and light years away from everyone I knew it became easy. Just start over. That's exactly what I did. I started slow, getting my ears and septum pierced. A month later I got my first tattoo, a celtic design on my shoulder.
As the weeks and months progressed, I found myself teaching extra classes to pay for more mods. Via the two guys who did all of my tattoos and piercings, I got into the local punk scene (yeah, there is one in Thailand), and was amazed to discover music that I had never really gotten into before (I was the jerk who treated alternative kids in high school like crap). My whole look changed and I was just more at ease with myself. The students I taught (high school age) thought my look was cool, and the school I taught at did not mind because I was a great English teacher.
There are a lot of modified westerners in Bangkok, so my appearance was not really a big shock to people. In fact, most people were pretty nice about it. The great, towering happy moment was meeting my wife via my piercings. A year and a half ago, I was sitting at a bar on Kao Sahn Road in Bangkok and a very cute tattooed and pierced Kiwi girl struck up a conversation about my stretched lobes. We hit it off, and two months ago we got married. At that point it had been a couple years since my first mod and at the moment I have: two full sleeves (tribalistic designs), front and back of lower legs (also tribal), hands (black star on one, red star on the other), neck (Thai proverbs in Thai), and chest (part of the Buddhist Diamond sutra in Sanskrit). As for piercings: 1 inch stretched lobes plus a few others in each ear; chin stud; septum; labret; 2 bridge of nose; nipples; and two in each eyebrow. My wife has blond dreads, full sleeves tats, a nostril piercing, and just started to stretch her lobes. Our wedding photos are very cool.
A month ago we packed up our life in Thailand and went to "meet the parents" - hers in New Zealand, mine in the USA. The trip to NZ went fine, her parents were totally cool. They had concerns about my wife coming to the States, but we promised annual visits and the chance of moving to somewhere in Australasia after I finish my degree. Then we got on the plane to the US (I won't bore you with the hell of piercings and airport metal detectors) - I had to say I was worried. When I left, I had zero mods and pretty much stuck to the Abercrombie and Firch Catalogue for my clothing. I hadn't been back for a visit since I left either. Now, I had a huge amount of mods; spikey green hair; very different clothing; and a new wife - all ready to greet my friends and parents at the airport back home. I told them in my e-mails about the changes, about our marriage, etc. - but was not really sure how they would react.
On the way out of customs I spotted my dad, mom and older brother, they did not see us - pretty much until we were 10 feet away from them. Other than a quick: "You really weren't joking" from my dad - it was all hugs and for my wife a lot of "Welcome to the family." I never would have guessed it would have been that easy. Friends were a different story, of the 15 or so I have seen since I got back, about half are cool with the changes. Some people always view you in a certain mold, and no matter what cannot think beyond it. The rest, well, screw 'em: I'm happier than I have ever been!
So, I guess the moral of the story is - take a chance, sometimes it just works out for the best. Even if you have to go to a different continent to do it.