A recent storm of events has gotten me thinking, thinking about the purpose of IAM, and exactly what it means to me. I had inadvertently sparked a debate, and even though strong words were said against me, many many more were spoken to defend me, and my right to be free to be myself. . I am a very open and honest person; there is almost nothing (to my recollection) that I shy away from as subject matter. I talk about my past a lot, what I used to be like, what I used to feel and do. Yet one comment I made seemed to offend a friend of mine. It was not intentional; in fact, when I wrote what I did I did not in the least expect anything to kick off as it did.
At A Glance Author Laura Mccarthy Contact [email protected] IAM Lozza_mc When N/A Why am I telling you this? Because it seems to bring up a critical issue, namely the freedom to be yourself. Isn't that why IAM is such a thriving community? Growing more and more as time goes by? It is safe, a 'community of friends', and encourages tolerance. I have been a member for almost a year now, and in such a short year my life has changed dramatically. I have made many friends, learned more than I ever thought possible, and found an outlet to express myself without fear of judgment. Day to day, I am judged, as I'm sure many of you are also. It does not bother me anymore, because I know that even though people may perceive me as a 'freak' in my small town home, I have a safe haven I can come to.
Hang on, fear of judgment? Wasn't I judged on IAM??
I was, I was judged, and it was a major shock to me that the debate even occurred. I had become so used to being able to say and feel how I wanted on IAM, that the slightest bit of conflict was disturbing. Obviously I stay well within the boundaries of the TOS. What kept my faith in the community alive was the overwhelming amount of people who supported and stood up for me, agreeing with what I had said and my freedom to actually say it in the first place. I was amazed by the response. It made me realize that I am still safe on IAM
There are so many individual topics here I could address from this situation. I could write about an accusation that I spend far too much time on IAM (true, but when you have no other life is it really a surprise?). I could write about the sexual interest that young people experience (apparently totally normal, according to friends) but I think I will address the subject many people worry about. The freedom to be yourself.
Who hasn't experienced some sort of prejudice in the 'real world'? Whether it's the feeling you were declined a job due to how you look, the basic dirty looks you may get when being in public or even a feeling of isolation because you do not seem to fit into the 'norm' of your society.Personally, I experience a lot of hassle for how I look (I live in a small, narrow-minded town). Thankfully, I had the kind of upbringing that made me realize early on that I don't have to be like everyone else, or care as to what they think about me. Still, being 'different' in such an obvious way takes some getting used to. Ideally, we would live in cultures which are accepting, and even celebratory of individual differences. Many of us do not and therefore face ridicule, difference and even hatred for who we are everyday.
But should we bitch and complain? Nope, we should hold our heads up high and be proud to have chosen this path. Notice the key word there. Chosen. We choose to modify our bodies, choose what modifications mean to us, and choose to be a part of such a strong community. Because we are a community! And one of the homes of our community is our very own IAM.
Many of us 'suffer' being shut out and shunned from 'normal' society everyday. Thankfully we have a home we can go to, where we can complain, comment, and share our everyday lives. Can this be taken too far? Can we rely on the safety of IAM and become dependant upon the freedom we have become accustomed too?
I have become addicted, as was brought brutally to my realization when my ISP shut me out of any of the BMEzine pages. (It was painful to say the least, thank god for slow-fi). I needed my safety net, my form of air. I had few people to converse with and even less stuff to occupy my time with. I missed IAM dreadfully, it was a constant ache.
This probably does prove my addiction. Maybe if I had a more exciting life I would be out living it instead of writing about what I don't have. However, things as they are, I spend a lot of time on IAM. And I take any work I do on IAM, as well as my page, very seriously. I try to help out as much as I can, by reviewing experiences, by submitting as many photographs and experiences as I can, by offering to help with any projects that I feel capable of, and by helping out new members to discover the joy that can occur from being a part of this community.
I am free to do these things; I am free to enjoy IAM as much or as little as I so choose. Why should I be restricted in something I enjoy, which causes no harm to anybody? So long as I comply with the TOS, of which I certainly do.
Maybe I am not talking in a broad enough scope. But I remember a quote I heard once; 'To write about everyman everywhere, write about just one man, here.' I may be paraphrasing, but that's the jist of it and what I live by. Hence I am writing about myself and my experiences to get a message across.
>From what I know, Shannon's ideal of BME and IAM was to allow people to be themselves. (BME also stands for Be Me, for those who may not have heard this before) This is what I believe in, and what the controversy I had experienced was about (after the primary root of sexual curiosity at a young age).
Everyone should have the freedom to be themselves, as previously stated, this is not always possible. We should be proud of being a member of a community that watches out for its own. That no matter what our background, our culture, or our level of mods, we tend to stick up for each other as a whole. Like any culture, there are subcultures below the surface, cliques and the like. But no matter, we tend to stick together as a group, no matter how diverse. This is exactly what caused me such emotion from the responses on my page. So, I was attacked with words and feelings. This doesn't make me scared. It was actually a blessing. It proved to me that IAM is the place for me. Call me a 'brown-noser', call me pathetic for having no life, think what you will, I cannot change that. So long as I remain true to myself, and true to the ideals of Shannon, I will take part and try and be as active in this community as possible. IAM is making my world a better place to live in.
IAM proud to be counted, and IAM proud to have chosen this path. I am glad to be sharing this journey with you all, and IAM going to stay true to myself.