At A Glance Author Angela St. Aubin Contact [email protected] IAM killertatertots When N/A I have 6 tattoos, a half sleeve and a lipring. I am 22 years old right now, and in the 7 years since I was first modified at age 15 I have been frequently asked, " Why did you do that?" I am sure many of you reading this have been asked that very same thing on multiple occasions. And for most of us, the answers vary. The reasons we get modified are as unique as our modifications themselves.
For me, there are many reasons that played a role, and they all jumbled up to create what was a positive choice for my body, and for my life. I want to share my own reasons here, to help other people understand, and maybe even to inspire someone else to think about what their modifications have done for them.
Please remember that these reasons are my own. Everyone has their own motivations for getting modified, and no assumptions should be made about those. Now that I am modified, (and plan to be more so in the future) there are other benefits that are becoming apparent to me that were not part of my initial reasoning process. For example, it is a quick and easy way to weed out jerks in the dating world. Let me elaborate. I am a single woman, and as such, occasionally attempt to socialize with members of the opposite sex. And there are some men out there who make snap judgments about me based on my modifications. Like the belief that some hold that anyone with a lip or tongue piercing is a sex addict and will thus appreciate being spoken to in an inappropriate manner on a first meeting. So, when someone is rude or mean to me based solely on my modifications, while annoying and potentially hurtful, it also spares me the time of getting to know them only to find out later what jerks they are. By their ignorant or childish reaction, they are saving me time!
The simplest answer I give when I am asked by a stranger why I have gotten tattooed, especially when I am not in the mood to go into any depth, is that tattoos are beautiful. Plain and simple. There is an expression that goes "Be art- get a tattoo." I feel that is a very accurate statement. Tattoos themselves when done well are art, but more so, they can turn their wearer into a piece of art. This feeling has given me something I was lacking for some time... a sense of being beautiful. Even when I look at my body, my wide hips, my pale skin, and start to feel down about myself, a glimpse of the tattooed heron spreading its wings across my shoulders will turn that around. Self-esteem is a complicated issue and I am certainly not trying to imply that modifications have cured me of poor body image, but it has helped a lot. Even on my worst day, there is always something now that I know is beautiful, that is permanent and that will always be a part of me.
My tattoos have changed how I feel about living inside this body, and how I view my body. It is now a canvas for expression instead of just a tool to walk around and do stuff in. Some may argue that a large part of our society doesn't see a lot of tattoos on a woman as being feminine or attractive. That may be true, but it doesn't worry me. I would not want those people to be attracted to me anyways!
My tattoos give me a sense of power, of pride and confidence. I like to call it the "new haircut feeling". Right after you get a haircut you often feel this happy feeling that is hard to describe. You walk with your head a little higher. It gives you focus, something to be proud of for that week or whatever, something new and exciting. Well for me, my tattoos offer that permanently. There is always someone new to show of my tattoos to, and always something to make me feel special, to make me feel proud. Everytime I go on a bus with a tattoo visible, even when there are some negative reactions, the curiosity of others makes me feel good.
Some of my tattoos have a specific motivation, either for their placement or design. For example, I have one in memory of an uncle who passed away from cancer. We were close, and the image I chose to have tattooed was something that was meaningful to both of us. The image, but also the experience of having it done were very powerful and helped me to come to terms with what had happened.
Another tattoo was placed on my lower arm in order to cover some scars I had there from self-harm. It was taking an area of my body I was unhappy with, that I felt had to hide, and making it strong and powerful. I chose a bold image to contrast with the delicacy within myself that led to the scars. Now when people see that arm, they see a lovely tattoo, not ugly scar tissue. It was away for me to reclaim my body from that part of myself that wanted to cause myself harm.
I will be honest here and say that there was not much meaning or purpose behind my choice of a lipring. I was young, and wanted to try something new, something exciting. I am sure the whole teenage rebellion factor played a role. I chose my lip mainly because I felt, and still feel, that my lips are one of the most attractive parts of my body, and so adding a little something extra to them would be a good idea.
My modifications allow me to make my house a home. My body is my home, and I want to decorate it, I want to feel connected to it. Diversity is beautiful. Humans are pretty similar, but we don't have to be. Let your unique personality shine through. Be art- get a tattoo!