It has not the same meaning for everyone. I cannot speak for an entire community when I say these things. What follows are my views, my feeling, and my opinions. This is what body modification means to me.
At A Glance Author aniorange Contact [email protected] IAM aniorange When N/A At first it was an esthetic desire. I saw piercings on other people and I liked what I saw. It is really difficult to explain. The best way I know to put it is that piercings looked "cool." When I saw ladies with piercings I thought it was very attractive, even sexy. When I saw guys with piercings or body mods I found myself jealous. It was something I wanted, something I desired. I ignored it for years. One day however, I saw my opportunity to change things.
I started dating someone that had body piercings. Like I said I found such things very attractive. In started asking about her piercings, trying to maintain some respect. I asked her to take me somewhere that I could be pierced. That never happened however. We did not keep dating. The fire had been lit and could not be put out. I then took it upon myself to find a place myself. I ended up finding a shop to be pierced at and took my first steps. I had my eyebrow pierced.
This experience was the beginning of the rest of my life. Things really started to change. The meaning behind it all, the reasons why, began to become more spiritual. It was not just because it looked good on someone else. It felt good. It was like I had overcome a small hurdle in my life. It was a hurdle I did not even know was there before.
As before it is something tough to explain. You have to feel it for yourself, and if you do not feel it, you probably will never truly understand. I was scared before I received my first piercing. It ended up being no big deal. It did not hurt much at all. After being pierced I experienced a new feeling of joy and excitement. It was very overwhelming. I truly did not know what to do with myself for at least a half hour. I ended up going to the local mall and walking the mall, at a rather fast rate, with no goal in mind. It was amazing. It was personal. I had overcome my own fears, maybe even demons. It is hard to believe something so simple can carry so much meaning.
I had to do it again. I took time to care for my new piercing and prepare myself for something else. It was only a couple of months before I was back. I had much the same fears as before. The experience was quick and again nearly painless. The same feeling of joy and excitement followed. Once again I over came another hurtle. With each hurtle I decorated myself with a small trophy. The cycle continued. The desire to pierce again grows as time goes on.
The third time I found myself "under the needle." I was scared, nervous. In the back of my mind however, I knew that I would overcome my fear. This feeling added to the experience. I felt special and unique. The feelings after being pierced became more and more rewarding. I felt like I was turning into the person I truly was. I felt outspoken without saying a word. I felt daring just being me.
At first I did not understand or even acknowledge all of these feelings. I started to look forward to the next experience, the next pierce. I began to feel as if I could do anything. I felt almost as if I where invincible. I even began to give it a name, the invincibility complex. I knew I could "overcome," or "survive" the next piercing. After each time I felt even stronger than before, I felt even more invincible.
It was not long before I moved into tattoos. It was an even bigger hurtle for me. I began to feel the same way about tattoos as I did piercings. I found them very appealing. It would be such a great way to make myself. It would be even more personal and meaningful. There was so much more to gain, and a bigger hurtle to get there. Two hours after getting started I had all new feelings to deal with. It was not the same as the quick piercing. It was very fulfilling. I was so proud of my new ink. I felt even more myself than before.
I have tried to paint a picture of what it means to me to be moded. I am sure there are others that feel the same way. I am equally sure that there are others that have different and unique feelings. If you must ask why do people get pierced, tattooed, implants, cuttings, etc, than perhaps the best answer is to ask other questions. Why do people jump out of planes? Why do some people love to garden? Maybe it gives them a sense of joy and pride. Maybe even a sense of belonging. Maybe it is just a distraction. Maybe it just cannot be explained.