At A Glance Author Rachel Contact [email protected] IAM delusionalfairy When N/A I realized while talking to a friend that I have to explain myself and my modifications on a weekly basis, I am sure I am not the only one. Anybody with visible modifications is going to get questioned no matter what. Well I thought it would be a good idea to write a paper and instead of telling people over and over again, I could just hand them the paper explaining why I have, love and want my modifications. I then decided the best thing to do would be to write up a question and answer form, with the most common questions I get and the answers I give to them. The questions represent the questions I receive the most and the answers are my personal answers and opinions which I feel best answer the questions.
Q: Did that hurt?
A: I would like to start this answer with a quote that I feel is a wonderful answer. "The pain is not really the goal. It certainly isn't for body modification. Please stop asking the question 'didn't that hurt?', unless you're willing to ask it of every physically toned person you meet. Looking good and feeling good isn't painless," spoken in truth by the maker of http://www.bmezine.com, Shannon Larratt, in the book ModCon.
My personal answer is no not really. To me if you really want something bad enough the pain is irrelevant. When I get pierced, tattooed or modified in some other way I don't focus on the pain I focus on the goal. The goal is to be the person I want to be.
Q: What made you decide to do that?
A: I've always wanted to be modified. My entire life was just me holding my breath until the day where I could get a modification. It not only makes me extremely happy but it raised by self-esteem a ton. When I was younger, regardless of what other people said, I hated myself. I thought I was ugly and not worth much. I got my first tattoo when I was 18 and my first piercing a few days later. It didn't just hit me at once, it was like 'Oh my god I have a tattoo I am beautiful.' No it wasn't like that at all. It took awhile. Two years later, over 10 piercings, 3 tattoos and a brand and I just recently began to feel comfortable in my own skin. I can now look in the mirror and think I am pretty. So I follow up my answer with a question for you, if something could give you confidence like that why wouldn't you do it?
Q: Does that (septum) hurt when you pull on it?
A: If the person asking the questions has earrings. I respond with does it hurt when you pull on your earrings? The response to that is always no. Then I say, well it is the same idea, just yours' are in your ears and mine is in my nose.
If the person asking the questions doesn't have earrings, it's a bit more difficult to explain. But I might still use earring as an example or a cut of some nature. After the cut is healed, does it still hurt? Well of course it doesn't. Once things are healed they are healed, there is no more pain involved. And if there is pain involved then there is something wrong with it.
Q: How are you going to feel about that when you are older?
A: Easy, I will feel the same way about my modifications when I'm 25, 35, 45 and so on. My modifications are forever a part of me. They weren't done on a whim. There was thought and love poured into these ideas before I put them on my body. They have special meaning.Q: How do you know that?
A: Honestly, I don't. The future is going to happen no matter what, but meanwhile I want to be happy in the here and now. I want to be able to see myself in the mirror and smile. I would never give that up for my future. My future is with my modifications.
Q: It's a phase. (Not really a question, but still needs a valid answer)
A: I've been through phases. I've struggled with a lot of stuff in my life. I have stability right here and right now. Should I be willing to sacrifice that with the thought that this is just a phase? No, I shouldn't. If I spent years of my life being unhappy with me and now I can be happy with me, why should this be just a phase? My modifications will probably make me happy and confident for the rest of my life.
Q: What if you just want to blend in?
A: I've never fit in with the crowd. My whole life I knew I wasn't 'the same.' I didn't try to be different; I just tried to be me. And now I am. I am not the type of person who is just going to blend in. I have always and will always stand out in a crowd, regardless of my modifications.
Q: What about a job?
A: Well clearly, I am not a run of the mill person, so why should I want a run of the mill job? I want to do something with my life that makes me happy. My plans, well I have a few ideas; an acupuncturist, a sign language interpreter, a piercer and a sex education teacher, to name a few. I want to have choices and freedom in my life. I want to be able to be myself. I want to have a job that I love and not have to conform to somebody else's standards.
Q: When are you going to just grow up?
A: When are you going to stop being so narrow minded? The world is full of diversity. People are different races and cultures. Did you know that in some parts of the world, there are whole tribes of people who have facial tattoos and piercings? It's beautiful. Some culture we have: thin, blonde, blue eyed, and Caucasian. What is that? When are you going to stop judging me for being myself?
Final answer: I am Rachel; I am modified and proud of it. I never want to be somebody I am not. And I don't want to be judged for being who I am. But regardless of what people think of me, I am happy to be me. I happy to have control over my body, it is the only thing I will ever truly own. I am even happier to say I don't mind waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and seeing the beauty in myself. How many people in the world can say that? I have confidence and that is because I am modified.
"Decorating the body, using needles, is beautification not mutilation." �Rachel