Ahh, Teenage years. Do you remember yours? Some of you might describe them as 'a time for rebellion', 'the most confusing years of growing up', or 'the time of you struggle with self-discovery'. I agree with all of them.
At A Glance Author Court Contact [email protected] When N/A All my life, I've been known and described as 'the good girl'. Not a very interesting label for a teen, if you ask me. (Not that I believe in labeling people, I'm just saying.)I spent fifteen years trying to fill the neatly laced shoes of the honor student, the cheerleader, the pianist. Fifteen years of longing to break the nicely polished shell. I always found myself looking for an outlet. Poetry, music, whatever. But, nothing was effective enough to make me really feel like I was being true to myself. Then I discovered the holed, inked and scarred world of body modification.
At the age of three, I had been taken to the local hair dressers to have my little lobies gunned. My first taste of being modified. But, being at the tender age of three, I was unable to get the full effect of the modification process. A few weeks later, however, I demanded that my mother take out the pink stud earrings. I don't remember the reasons why I wanted them out. I just did.
The summer before I started the seventh grade, I decided it was time to re- open the door to piercings. I got my mother to take me to the same hair dressers to be gunned. I got a lovely new set of helix piercings. I was proud of my new holes because they were something I had never seen before, all my friends had lobe piercings. A few months later, I got another set of helixes, and then another. I had six helixes. I discovered that having these piercings made me feel a little edgy, and rebellious, a feeling I was searching to find nearly my whole life. I wore my hair up on purpose, so people could see my ears and I played with my earrings so people would know that I had them. My six little babies gave me a sense of happiness I knew that only they would be able to provide for me. Never in my life had I felt so much like me. Being the good girl I was, I never expected that something as odd as sticking metal through my body would make me feel so good.
After I had those piercings, I wanted to learn more about body modification as I was hungry for something a little more extreme. I found BME by accident, and boy, am I glad! Finding BME opened my mind to things I didn't even know were possible. I gained so much knowledge from visiting this site. One thing I learned was guns=bad!
I knew the next piercing I wanted was a nostril. Something a lot of people had done with a stud. I, however, wanted a ring. So, last fall, I was de-virginized by the needle. I had a lovely 14 gauge CBR decorating my pretty little nose. I had friends describe it as 'gross' and 'too big' and 'unusual'. Some people even accused my ring of being a clip- on because they thought it was so unbelievably big. I loved it!
So it's about a year later and I have a few more piercings including stretched lobes, a standard navel and a soon to be tragus.
My parents hate them, my friends are astonished by them and I, I still use them as a way to express the wild side I've been hiding for so long. I know many modified people hate when they're walking along, minding their own business, and people are starring at their mods, but, I love it. I love that I know they're thinking thoughts like 'Ew, what has she done to her body?'. It makes me feel like I've always wanted to feel- unprim.
So, what have my piercings taught me? They taught me that sometimes it takes years of searching to find yourself, but once you come to a discovery, you'll be set for life. Also, I've learned that everyone needs to try new things to find what really makes you happy. If I would've settled on writing poetry or music, I never would've found this happiness that piercings give me.
Thank you BME for letting the modified and the wanna-be modified feel so welcome. I feel a sense of belonging every time I enter the site, or read an experience. It makes me feel like even though I do this because it is 'me', that there is other people who understand.
For anyone that reads this and can relate to this story in anyway, congratulations in finding yourself. A sense of knowing yourself is a valuable key tool to having a happy life.
Feel free to contact me too, to talk about mods, or, whatever: [email protected].
Love life, and keep rockin' the mods, bitches.