We are all flawed; it's part of being human. We are all judgmental and rude and blind in our own ways, even though every day we suffer from these very things by other people. Even though I would like to think that the modified community is one of the most enlightened, we are in no way exempt from these problems.
At A Glance Author Rachael Contact [email protected] IAM Rachael When N/A
Since I first became involved in the body modification community, starting out with humble beginnings and slowly learning and wanting more until it turned into my life passion, I have become more and more aware to these problems. It never really hit me until recently, and now that I see it even clearer, I think we all need to know, and we all need to listen up and try and make a difference.
As modified people, we are constantly judged, perhaps more than those without visible mods. But we are just as judgmental � we are judgmental of those who are new to body modification and those who are not modified. There's no denying it. When we go out, even if we don't realize it, we think less of the girl with the gunned cartilage piercing than we do of the man with the CBR's in his lobes.
When there is a new comer at our favorite body modification website and they bring up their problem or a question, we jump on them for what they did wrong. Sure, a lot of it is common sense, but they're new to this. Why do we have to be so hostile towards them? And it is our hostility that turns them away, because we act like we know it all, when we don't. Because of this, they turn away and are even more determined to continue on with what they are doing. There's no denying the truth.
Even within our own community of those we considered modified, there are cliques and more judging. Those with more mods are doted upon, while those who take the simpler less-is-more approach are ignored. Quantity is taken over quality, and the girl with two pounds of metal in her face is considered the "better" modder, even if she isn't. Newbies, as we so fondly call them, get the worst treatment, when they don't know any better. I look at some of the modified people I know. For example, my piercer hasn't gone all out. From memory I count seven facial piercings, one not visible. (It may sound like a lot, but it's not really.) Without quantity, he's still one of the most knowledgeable and dedicated modders that I've had the extreme pleasure of meeting. As for new comers, they're never going to learn more or develop a keen, deep interest or longing for more knowledge unless they are sparked, and we are the ones to spark them.
Again, I look at those who are not as deeply involved in body modification as some of us are. Just the other day I read where a girl who was annoyed with improper stretching methods of some of her peers, told them it was fine to skip many gauges and shove the jewelry through their lobe, ending with "they'll learn the hard way." While I can understand how frustrating it can be, this is no way for us to act. These people havn't been educated in proper techniques, either because they have not tried to learn the correct way or think they are doing it the correct way or no one with the knowledge has tried to educate them.
Quite honestly, they probably aren't going to learn unless we try and teach them. Yes, you are going to be ignored, ridiculed, and scorned, but nothing is going to change unless we try and make an effort. Calling them idiots is not going to do any good, and telling them it's fine to screw up their piercings is not doing our job as a dedicated, decent member of society, or member of the body modification community.
I do not claim to be perfect, and I do not claim that everyone is like this. But a jerk is still a jerk, modified or not. There are some people in the modified community that I admire greatly for their ability to stay calm through all kinds of harassment with out taking part in it themselves. I know I could never be able to be as mature as they are, and we could all learn a lesson from them.
It has been said over and over again, but it won't hurt for us to hear it one more time: no one is perfect. None of us is better than any other person. Short or tall, black or white, male of female, young or old, mods or none. While we are all entitled to our own opinion, we all deserve the same amount of respect.