After writing the editorial titled, "How to Hide Piercings", I began to question, should we have to? Not only is it wrong to force us to hide a part of ourselves, I believe it is wrong to make us feel that we cannot display our true selves to the world.
At A Glance Author broken_wings Contact [email protected] IAM broken_wings When N/A
At the workplace and in the home many of us are faced with the dilemma of whether or not we should be forced to hide who we are � our superficial and aesthetic selves, our inner selves revealed through our appearance. There are many available options of discretion (in terms of body modifications), but when should they be mandatory? (If ever!)
In the home, parents often limit if not prohibit a child's options in terms of self-expression. Specifically, many people under the age of 18 (myself included) are not allowed to choose precisely the way they want to look. The image they project to the world is not always complete. This may be because of a state's laws, or simply because of a parent's rules.
Is this wrong? We all know that young people can at times be headstrong and rash. But all of us have encountered very mature individuals that understand their own wants and desires, along with the ramifications of said desires. When does a parent have the right to enforce their own opinions onto the child? When does the child begin to make its own choices? When does a child reach a level of maturity of enough magnitude that they are capable of taking charge of their own life or aspects of that life? Personally, I do not believe that the passage of time is any way to determine maturity or "readiness". Measurable/chronological age is just a number. So how does one measure the aptitude of one's self understanding? I do not know, and this is why there exists so many unresolved issues. I have so many questions, and no one knows the answer. I don't pretend to. But I present to you these questions in order to allow you to ponder, to question, and make your own resolutions. Always questions! Be not a sheep or a drone. But I digress.
Furthermore, if a woman were fired from her job for her recent breast implants, the world would be in arms over it. What about her rights? The business should be boycotted! How can they do that? Etc, etc, etc. But if a woman were fired for her unique subdermal or transdermal implant, few "conservative" people would realize the scandal. The double standard is maddening. It can be recognized everywhere. The difference between dying one's hair blonde and dying it green; the difference between piercing one's lip to inject collagen and piercing one's lip to obtain semi-permanent jewelry... the examples are innumerable. Where is equality? Has it abandoned humankind? Is the psyche of society plagued with trivial allegations of what is acceptable and what is not � and does this same psyche claim to have the right to know what's best for others?
Obviously these are my views and generalizations, but I feel that at the most minimal level society contradicts itself in terms of what it allows, of what is acceptable. For example, if a woman got a star tattooed on her cheek, she would undoubtedly have difficulty keeping or getting a job. But if a women has cosmetic surgery, and gets permanent eyeliner, she is safe within the confines of the accepted criteria of our society. For me, this polarity is nothing more than wrong and extremely frustrating.
Some people believe that we should not have piercings or tattoos because God did not make us that way. Well, God didn't highlight your hair or paint your nails with French polish � but many people consider these aesthetic acts acceptable. The problem is, we always change the way we look. It's near impossible to leave alone the body we were given. I'd even go so far as to say that we are meant to modify and distort the image that we see, and to improve it to the best of our ability. Humans were meant to evolve and adapt, for thousands of years we have followed this pattern. And now, society tells us that it is wrong. Think of all the ways we are potentially limiting ourselves!
And yet, there is still more to question! Every culture is different � and it seems that ours may be the most closed-minded. The Mursi look radically different than us westerners � proof that each of us have different norms within our society. Stretched lobes, in some tribes, are a sign of wisdom. In our society, the ignorant can see them as frivolous, gaudy, or disgusting. Why can human beings, as a whole, not become more accepting?
I also think that we (society) need to become more desensitized to things that are different. Think of the progression of the female bathing suit; years ago, a bikini would be horrifyingly scandalous! Just as tattoos used to be signs of conviction or sailing, they are evolving to become something more "mainstream". But it is not progressing to the point of world-wide acceptance and equality.
Tribes in the east (including the Mursi and the Suya tribes) perform dramatic modifications to their bodies. Many of which have influenced us westerners. Within their tribes these modifications are perceived as normal, even essential! Why is it that we, as more "developed" human beings must put a stop to all that may return us to our earlier roots? Why must we destroy all that has the potential to be good? And above all, why must we detest that which is different?
My own hidden mods are a testament to society's narrow-minded beliefs. I have not the confidence to be judged by my peers, and so I opt for subtle mods or hidden mods that are not easily detected by dimwitted individuals. My septum ring is only worn down in the presence of my family or my boyfriend � and frankly, I'm only comfortable with it down while in the company of my boy. My tongue web is completely unseen, my ears will be 4ga � a considerably discreet size � and my anti-tragus is unnoticed underneath my hair. My navel piercing will never be on display, and the tattoos I choose to get will not be visible in a t-shirt and shorts. These are the choices I have made. These are the concessions I have chosen to make in order to satisfy the constraints of the society I live in. This is my doing; I realize this. It is my decisions to detract from my authentic self in order to serve the expectations of my culture. But I hope that one day may change. I hope my children do not suffer repressed individuality as I do. I hope to gain the confidence possessed by fellow IAMers, and to gain the confidence that my future husband so deftly enjoys. With each new mod I get, I cross a new frontier. With each new mod, I push myself a little further. Next in line is my tongue piercing � I am gradually becoming more visibly modified. I am gradually relinquishing the need to hide who I am.
And slowly, eventually, I will stand out in the open, completely and freely myself; nothing more, nothing less.