My mother once asked me why I like piercings. I told her, simply enough, that they made me feel better about myself. She grossly misinterpreted this, and assumed it meant that I had low self-esteem and used piercings to make myself "stand out" and thus I felt better. To some extent, I suppose this is true. But I feel that that only grazes the tip of the ice berg. Under the murkiness of these cold waters, there is so much about me that my mother doesn't understand. To be fair, I hardly understand myself. But I try.
At A Glance Author broken_wings Contact [email protected] IAM broken_wings When N/A
This piece discusses and questions WHY piercing makes me feel better about myself. Frankly, it is a phenomenon that sometimes baffles me. Therefore, I have outlined a number of possible contributing factors. Each is as likely as the next, and it is even more probable that they all play a role in my increased sense of worth and well-being.
Health
Acquiring piercings, for me, is a complicated (albeit, enjoyable) process. Not only am I a firm believer in proper aftercare (which to me, means twice daily non-iodized sea salt soaks), I believe that a healthy lifestyle is essential. Left and right people tell you to live healthfully anyways, but for me, a piercing is the catalyst that pushes me in the right direction. I find myself eating more fruits and vegetables, ingesting vitamins, drinking more water, and exercising at least three times a week. I also attempt to go to bed earlier and decrease the amount of stress in my life.
I try to enable my body to do its most efficient healing. Is this why piercings make me feel so good? The healing and keeping of a piercing in effect causes me to take better care of myself. Are the good feelings that I associate with piercing a result of the piercings themselves, or a result of the behavior elicited by the piercing? Is there that much of a difference?
Taking care of myself makes me feel better about myself. Piercings cause me to take better care of myself than I normally would. They give me reason to be healthful. On the other hand, maybe they make me feel good because of my (seemingly inherent)....
Individuality
I can't deny that piercings (or any mods, for that matter) make me feel different than other people. Despite the fact that we are all born unique and different, I believe that it is the changes we undergo after birth that define us. We can't help being born one-of-a-kind. However, the addition of tattoos or piercings or implants etc, further separates us from the norm. No one in the world can have the exact same combination of piercings as you; no one can have your exact tattoo (even if they try).
I was drawn to my first piercing, an anti-tragus, because of its rarity. I had never seen one in real life, and they were far less common than, say, a navel piercing. Honestly, as much as I try to pretend that I don't care if other people have the same thing as me or not - this made me feel special. Other people with mods didn't have an anti-tragus. People without mods certainly didn't, and I enjoyed feeling separated from them. I felt as though there was more to me than met the eye. I was not just another drone. Perhaps it is this feeling of rejecting "sheep-dom" that makes me feel special. Perhaps this is why I feel better about myself. Or maybe it is the confirmation that I contain great amounts of...
Bravery
Some people have super-human pain tolerance and don't even flinch as they receive their Prince Albert piercing. Although my pain threshold is (in my opinion) considerably high, the butterflies in my stomach before a piercing are a constant reminder of my fear. Going through a piercing procedure (and making it out alive and well!) is a testament to my bravery. Every mod on my body is a testament to my courage. Truly, there are boundless amounts of courage obtained by people who overcome much greater hurdles than mine. But this does not trivialize the fact that I get nervous and get pierced anyways. It makes life less scary. (Ex. "I'm so scared that that baseball in this baseball game is going to hit me, but it can't be worse than when I got my nipple pierced!" or "I had strength enough to let a needle pass through my septum, I can face my boss/parents/lover and tell them what I think.)
This increase of feelings in terms of self-worth stem from my ability to conquer my fears, step out of my box, and get what I want because I want it � and not because of the wants of anyone else. This is empowering. The courage to wear my septum jewelry down, the courage to be myself around close friends and family � this too gives me strength. The power I accumulate will one day reach such a point that I will be invincible and invulnerable. I will one day have confidence enough to be who I am, and outwardly display myself. Body modification gives me this, and it could very well be the reason that piercings make me feel better about myself. However, it could be my ties to distant...
Cultures
This point is a little more far-fetched, but I feel it has merit. In eastern countries, people have been modifying their bodies in ways that the west has only (relatively) recently begun to embrace. These tribes and cultures have already grasped certain concepts of ritual, initiation and rite-of-passage that our society is only beginning to understand. It is feasible, and more than possible that modifying our bodies brings us closer to these eastern cultures. The bond forged between our industrialized culture and their (for example) foraging/nomadic culture is strengthened by out shared interest in body decoration.
I could even go far as to say that the African Eve Hypothesis is relevant. This hypothesis that this African Eve is the "matrilineal most recent common ancestor for all living humans; the mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA) in all living humans is derived from hers". It further suggests that "that all living humans descend from Africans, some of whom migrated out of Africa to populate the rest of the world." It is possible, (even if it is unlikely), that the west's interest in historically eastern body modification processes is a result of our close biological ties with Africans. Maybe it's in our DNA to want to change the body we were born with, and maybe in doing so, we are comforted. However, this is merely a theory based upon a theory, and it might be more pertinent to suggest that the reason body modification makes me feel good is because...
It Changes Who I Am
I've already mentioned that piercings give me confidence in a number of ways. However, I'd like to go further. With the addition of every modification, I attempt to change. Sometimes I succeed, other times � I "fail" very quickly. For example, after every new piercing of mine (except one) I have told myself that I will get toned and lose weight. This prompts a week or two of motivation, and then it somehow dissipates. The fact remains that I attempt to use these additions to my body as reasons or conductors of change. I feel I am not alone in this attempt. Often a mod is used to signify an accomplished change, or to induce the commencement of change.
This is exemplified not only in eastern cultures during rites-of-passage or initiation, but in western cultures as well. Who has waited until their 18th birthday in order to be eligible to get a genital piercing? Who has gotten a tattoo to signify their new or old love? Who has adorned their navel with jewelry, in celebration of motherhood or recent weight loss? (Or even for plain ol' self acceptance!) Mods not only signify change (inward or outward), but they can cause it (if the person wills it to be so). And in this way, I believe it can make a person feel better about themselves or their lives.
In addition, I believe that being modified changes your outlook on life. Personally, I find myself being less judgmental, as well as being more of an over-achiever. Due to exposure of people that look different, I find I am less quick to judge based upon appearance. Also, because I consider myself to be a modified individual, I am constantly striving to be a positive representation of my sub-culture. In these ways I feel I have improved upon myself as a person, and I have body modification (and BME, and IAM!) to thank. But this may not be the only reason. To take a semi-psueudo-Marxist approach, maybe the real reason mods make me feel good is because they let me spend my...
Money
I'm ashamed to admit how much money I spend on new jewelry. I have over a dozen pairs of earrings in 4ga, and countless others in all of the gauges that come before 4ga. I may have an obsession, or a problem � but I can't refute the accusation that buying earrings makes me happy. I love new jewelry! This may be a common problem, but I think it goes deeper than it first appears.
To begin, I don't always feel beautiful. However, I often attach connotations of prettiness to external things. Earrings and other such jewelry are beautiful external things. When I buy them, I get to wear them. When I wear them I feel that I am unified with something exquisite. I become beautiful by association. In my lowest moments I have become happy upon thinking of the 4ga Anatometal bling eyelets residing in my lobes. This is significant for me. Consistently having something that makes me feel worthy or lovely is more than beneficial to my well-being. Bling eyelets can't get fat, and they are often admired from afar. This aids my level of contentment in life more than I can say.
It seems odd that mods could do this much for me. Especially since I do not currently have any tattoos. I believe that tattoos can become a part of you, while piercings are a little more separate. They can be easily removed (although they leave a scar), and are metal � something I associate more with machines, than with humans. Nonetheless, the insertion of metal into my tissue makes me feel good. This is a fact, wrought with confusing and conflicting explanations.
To sum it up, Mom, I don't really know why mods make me feel better about myself. But I have a few ideas.