There has been a lot of uproar on ModBlog lately when it comes to people, rather obnoxiously, expressing their feelings about certain modifications. I am not an IAM member, nor am I heavily modified (though I can attest to my share of piercings and two modest tattoos), but I do, very strongly, believe that ignorance like this is not only self destructive, but hinders the community as whole.
At A Glance Author Laura Degroot Contact Laura [email protected] When N/A Perhaps the fact that I have spent most of my life in a Christian Reformed (very conservative) community, and am a Christian myself, makes me a less than predictable candidate to form such an opinion. I have grown up being taught that body modification is "weird" or "ugly," and have been told by several relatives that my 4 gauge lobes, industrial, and web piercing have rendered me "weird" as well. It is not just my fifty year old aunts and uncles who have formed such opinions, but it has, more recently, become my peers as well.
Today, in conversation with a friend of over 4 years, the topic of suspension came up, though I have never experienced it personally. He considered it to be "unacceptable," "weird," "grotesque," and "sickening." I shared with him my less than Christian philosophy, being this: Sit back and let people do their thing. If you can appreciate it as much as they do, you're better for it. To this he said, "My theory is that there is something a little bit weird about a person if they can "appreciate" being swung in the air with hooks in their chest."
This friend of mine, though conservatively minded, has been known to experiment with drug use. I suggested, "What if I said "my theory is that there is something a little bit weird about a person if they can "appreciate" putting foreign substances into their bodies to generate a euphoric feeling" (a feeling described as a result of suspension)."
I can only hope that this helped him realize that taboo, or socially uncommon, does not make something definitively weird. Rather, it can be something new to understand, appreciate, and maybe one day experience.
Even though our society has made leaps and bounds in accepting the modified counterculture, we still have a long way to go. I am not suggesting that our employers bow to pressure and change universally accepted dress codes, as they apply to everyone. I am merely suggesting that we should be allowed to own, publicly, our appearances in a way that is empowering, liberating, and after all, personally comfortable. When it comes down to it, modification is not about becoming someone else, but rather, more accurately becoming ourselves.
I admit, suspension is a little more "out there" when compared to stretched lobes and a couple tattoos, but when does "out there" become "grotesque" or "sickening"? At what point to people draw the line in social acceptability? Drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, greed, ignorance, deception in the name of success, and the like are all things that, whether we admit it or not, have become socially acceptable. I'm not saying I am innocent of any of these things, in fact, that is exactly the point. We are all, for the most part, guilty of these things, yet many of us feel we have the power and moral capability to throw stones.
My mother has a theory that people with modifications are merely seeking attention, or that they are trying to make a statement, socially, against mass culture. I believe that this is the general opinion among the unmodified masses, as they are unable to understand what we do or why we do it. Though it is not necessarily hard to find someone with modifications for the purpose of making an impression, this is not the consented opinion of the majority. We know how we feel about our modifications, and being asked to justify them is probably one of the most frustrating things we have to deal with. We've all been there, from "why would you do that to yourself?" to "what are you trying to prove?"
The most shocking aspect of all of this is not that we are being questioned but those who do not understand us, but we are being questioned, and harshly criticized, by those who claim to be on our side. At what point did we decide we should judge each other, when we complain about being judged ourselves? We claim to be open-minded, yet we turn around and scorn people for actions similar to our own.
In the end, all I am trying to say is simply, be mindful of who you judge, and why you judge them. Your ignorance does not only hurt yourself, which it will, but those you judge will feel the sting of it in everything they do. I realize that the religious groups I affiliate myself with are least of all innocent of passing judgment, but that does not have to dictate my behavior or the behavior of others. Try to sit back, and let people be themselves. Observe without judgment, and if you can appreciate their actions, you will, without question, be better for it.