Making my own jewelry � closing the gap between my father and I.
At A Glance Author broken_wings Contact [email protected] IAM broken_wings When A year ago
My dad. He's old, not overly cool, tells good jokes and makes great spaghetti. He's not "hip" and doesn't watch much TV. He likes farming. Despite our seemingly gigantic differences, we (apparently) had one interest in common: woodworking.
My father likes to make bowls. And decks. And chicken coops. He likes taking a hunk of wood and turning it (literally) into something useful or beautiful. He's still learning, but he figures he'll be pro by the time he retires.
This is how my dad and I (for once) somewhat shared an interest in body modification.
I asked my dad if he'd be able to make me earrings on his lathe. He thought about it, I showed him pictures and dimensions... and eventually he figured it'd be easy as pie. I researched on the internet which types of woods would be acceptable (SAFE) for wearing in my lobes, and I came up with this comprehensive list of "wisdom": http://www.esotericbody.com/wisdom.htm. The website was very informational, and I finally decided upon standard ebony as a good ol' trial wood. (Ebony is a very common hardwood that is used for earlobe jewelry.)
Christmas day, I open up a very heavy rectangular present. Lo and behold, it's a great big slab of ebony! My Christmas break was the perfect time to hone my earring making skills. My dad had time off from work, and I had no school... so down to the basement we went!
This might be a good time to mention that I would be making wooden large gauge jewelry for an art project at my school. At the time I had an incredibly open-minded art teacher. As long as you could justify yourself, he'd let you do any kind of art you wanted! A girl created a dance sequence for her big project. For me, I approached him and asked if I could make things out of wood. He said this was a great plan! Very unique etc. I did the required research (finding out many interesting things about the history of earlobe stretching � a different story for a different day) and was finally officially allowed to make myself earrings and get marks for it. What an awesome deal!
To begin, we used the band saw to cut the ebony into a smaller chunk, suitable for attaching to the lathe. We stuck the chunk onto the lathe and wound this other thing in order to tighten it in place. (As you can tell, I'm a professional that uses all the fancy professional terms.) Then my dad and I put on safety goggles. He picked up a chisel, and showed me how to carefully "chew" away at the wood as it spun around REALLY fast. It was very strange to see black woodchips, I can tell you that much! A little while later it was my turn to try.
I took the chisel, stepped up towards the oscillating piece of wood, and carefully gouged into it. Damn! For my first attempt, I really screwed up. My dad took over and smoothed over my botched job, and all was fine. Eventually I got better and didn't do such a horrible job.
Part of what made this Endeavour so difficult was that we were making 4ga earrings! That's approximately 5.1mm. Very teeny tiny, not so easy. We whittled down that piece of wood for a long time until it approached 5mm status. That's when we took out the different grades of sandpaper and sanded it while it was rotating. After cutting it off and smoothing the cut end � we were done!
After repeating the entire procedure, I had just (with lots of help from my dad) made an adorable pair of single flared ebony plugs! These are very expensive in retail stores, and to have made them for free was empowering. (Or stingy.)
But more important than scoring free earrings, is the fact that it brought my dad into my world � and me into his. He learned about gauges, and which types of woods were compatible in my earlobes. He even asked me if I had friends with bigger lobes, so we could make earrings that would display the "beautiful grain" of the wood! At the same time I learned about one of my dad's most favorite hobbies. I learned how to use wood tools and how to make things out of wood. It was a father/daughter activity that had nothing to do with my mother or sister. They simply weren't interested.
If it wasn't for my (obsessive) interest in body modification, I'd have never been interested in working my dad's shop. Ever. But because of my interest in body modification and my dad's interest in wood � we found a common bond. We learned a little about each other. We became closer.
It is a common idea/stereotype that fathers and their daughters (at least, historically) don't tend to spend a lot of time together. It's fathers with their sons, and mothers with their daughters. My dad and I working together was an eye-opening experience. It's okay that I'm not a boy, it's okay that I like to stick hunks of wood in my ears � I am accepted the way that I am.
What makes this even more significant is the fact that my mother is extremely against body modification of any kind. My dad is not as deep-seated in his dislike of the "abnormal", but he thinks that piercings and tattoos are "stupid". (He also reckons that it's fine if I want to do "stupid" things to my body � after all, it's my body, and he recognizes my right to do as I please to it! My mother is not so understanding.) But I digress. I feel that as my father saw the beauty in the jewelry we were creating, he may have glimpsed the beauty I see in body modification. Just maybe. And for me, that makes it all worthwhile.