The Purest Form of...
At A Glance
Author Ania
Contact [email protected]
IAM deadly pale
When N/A
Location Poland
It started all innocently and on the verge of getting pathetic! A bunch of college kids traveled and hitchhiked across Romania, having fun and great experiences. They did not have much money on them, so sometimes they were sleeping right under the sky, climbing steep hills to set up their camp and then warming up by the fire! They were climbing the steep hills and walking vast distances if there was no one on the road willing to give them a ride! The minds of the kids felt great; their bodies not quite so! Panting heavily while climbing up the hills or mountains and feeling sore after covering a few kilometers was something that the kids did not like, so almost all of them decided to get in shape after their return to their home country!

There were eight of them and, as it was just stated, almost all of them decided to do something about their fitness level! Being back home, however, meant that everyday life started getting in the way more and more � finals at the university, a few summer parties, looking for summer jobs etc. became more important than their decision to improve their physical fitness. And there was only one person, me, who started working out right after returning from Romania � a few short laps on the local track changed into longer distances in parks; a few push-ups got replaced by using hand weights. Something that everyone else took rather lightly was becoming an important part of my own life!

There were two things that kept amazing me and that made me feel great! The first one was really hilarious � in my high school times my PE teachers probably hated me! If there was a basketball or volleyball game planned and team leaders were about to pick up members of their teams it was a well-known fact that I did not want to be chosen by any of them. If there was a lap to run or a ball to pick up and play, it was obvious that I would not even try to bother. My favorite activities were reading, writing lame gothic stories and occasionally "dancing" madly in mosh pits. Even now I do hate when someone tries to force me to do something and I refuse on the spot � back then it was exactly the same way! Now it was me who really wanted to change! Suddenly there was this huge change in my approach toward physical activity � I got up earlier to run a few laps and then left my friends in the evenings just to get a nice solitary run. Everyone was surprised, myself included!

The second thing about my sudden change of attitude was the way my body seemed to evolve! I have never been overweight and chances are that I never will be. The body type running in my family is not a bad one and my metabolism usually works fine but a thin body and a fit body differ significantly! At first I just seemed to have lost some weight which made me look even taller and slimmer � a good thing for someone who used to wear short black dresses most of the time! Then came the muscles, better endurance and more strength. My body not only looked good but also, and above all, felt good and became very efficient and reliable � I could count on myself!

Over the years that have passed since then I have been running through great and difficult times in my life; I have been both in a great form and in an atrocious shape; I have been running both alone and with some male friends (men always seemed better suited for that than my female friends); I have been running not because it made me relatively thin but mainly because it made me feel good, think clearer and be independent on many levels.

One might ask now what it has to do with body modification as we understand it here, on BME. Believe me that for me it has a lot to do with modifying my body by means of scars, tattoos and, to a smaller degree, piercings!

My first tattoo was placed on my right arm, so I could see it and feel happy about it! Right after getting it done I realized that something so cool should stay this way forever, so I got obsessed about moisturizing it and ... exercising my arms more, so the tattoo could be on as good-looking a body as possible! It might sound shallow and show that all I am concerned with is just looks. That is not true! For me tattoos and scars (my favorite body mods!) are primarily about creating my own aesthetics, commemorating important events and changes in my life, being just me! Physical activity serves, more or less, the same purpose � by means of working out and forcing my body to expand my physical and mental limits I create my own aesthetics, working out is with me both in good and bad moments, helps me discover who I am and what I am capable of! Being both fit and "modified" (as in "tattooed/scarred/pierced") is what I want to be and what I do enjoy the most on physical and, to some significant degree, on mental level!

Many modified people say, and probably really think, that they modify their bodies (by means of tattoos, piercings etc.) because they want to adorn their "temples", they want to look as they feel they should look, because it makes them accept their bodies and make them their own. It is a great and empowering feeling but whenever I come across such a statement I wonder why so many modified people, so focused and concerned with the physical part of them, neglect the purest and most basic form of body modification which simply is getting their bodies in shape and making them reliable, healthy, fit!

I do not speak here from the point of view of someone who despises or ridicules people with weight problems or from the perspective of someone who is fascinated with the bodies one can see in fashion magazines. I do not look either way and it is not my personal goal to look like that, either! We all have to tackle imperfections we were born with or acquired during our lives! But it is one thing to accept our physical traits, such as the width of our hips, the length of our legs etc., and an entirely different thing to let ourselves slip into a state of total negligence and feed ourselves with eternal excuses about thinking/deciding/doing something to fix the way we are or became tomorrow or some time in the future!

Body modification helps us accept our bodies; it makes us feel beautiful and love ourselves more than ever before but how long such a state of mind lasts? The feeling of elation from getting a new piercing or any other mod wears off quickly and then some of us begin to feel a need to feel it again, so they go for another piercing/tattoo/any other mod. But if we add daily working out routine to our body mod-plans, then we will get something that does not wear off quickly; we will get something to feel and enjoy every single day. Growing self-confidence, body changing for better on many levels, clearer mind, stronger will � these are side-effects of physical activity which is a form of body modification whenever you want to acknowledge it or not!

There are many people on IAM/BME who already know and embrace it. Such forums as IAM: Fitness or IAM: Running show clearly that for many of us physical activity goes hand in hand with other forms of body modification and this is a great thing! However, there are still many others who want to but do nothing to change their bodies in a more round, holistic way!

I am deeply convinced that body modification (as understood by BME and its readers) should or, even must, be combined with physical activity as only then we will be able to change ourselves permanently and in a good way!

Body modification is perceived by many of us as something "cool", improvement, a road to self-acceptance and in many other ways. But yet it also has its limitations and its effects on us and the way we think about ourselves wear off sooner or later. Effects of physical activity, practiced on daily basis and combined with body modification, might last a lifetime and make us truly beautiful (in our own way!), self-confident, healthier and stronger. With a new year ahead maybe it is worth giving a chance?


Disclaimer: The experience above was submitted by a BME reader and has not
been edited. We can not guarantee that the experience is accurate, truthful,
or contains valid or even safe advice. We strongly urge you to use BME and
other resources to educate yourself so you can make safe informed decisions.


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