Life has a peculiar way of taking you full circle sometimes. A Canadian comedian named Red Green (better known as Steve Smith) once said about piercings, "I'd like to leave this life with the same number of holes as I started it with!" I know quite a few members of the body modification community that would not agree with that statement. I have stated before in a previous article (http://www.bmezine.com/news/edit/A50606/artchoos.html) how much I hate to retire piercings. I also expressed in that article how I hoped to add to my collection again one day. Unfortunately life has all sorts of twists and turns that you can't predict, and the opposite has happened. I now only have three piercings left, and only one of them is visible, and it pains me a lot.
At A Glance Author Purpendicular Contact [email protected] IAM Purpendicular When N/A Location Kitchener, ON, Canada Just to get you caught up, I used to proudly sport a 16g nostril piercing, a 14g labret, two 14g nipple piercings, three 14g navel piercings, two 0ga lobes, and a 4ga tongue. Some of them just flat-out rejected (the three navel and one of the nipples), while others I was forced to retire. Each time I felt a sadness�depression?�and felt naked.
I used to manage a record store, which was a great place to work if you're into body mods. Tattoos, piercings, whatever�anything goes, right? Unfortunately my boss was ultra-conservative. He still doesn't know his own brother has a tattoo, for example, because his brother doesn't want him to know, and it's been 10 years. It's that job, and that boss, who started me on the road I am now currently stuck on.
In 2002, I went through a breakup of a long-term relationship. As I, and many others, have in the past, I soothed my pain by adding some metal to my body. My tongue came first. It was a piercing I'd wanted for a long time, and I felt the time was right to do it. It felt great in my mouth. As I became accustomed to the feeling, I wanted that "fresh new piercing" sensation to continue, so I stretched it every couple of months. I found that renewed the novel feeling of metal in my mouth. I loved it. My 12g septum soon followed.
My boss, as I said, was ultra-conservative, and I didn't know much about my rights as a worker in Canada at the time. That was my own fault. I certainly should have been on guard about my boss (a man who I once trusted) when he asked me into a private meeting in my office.
He was concerned about my mental well-being, you see. He knew about my breakup, most of my friends and coworkers did. I find that talking about problems lessens the weight of them. Unfortunately, I know now that you have to watch who you talk to and trust. My boss thought I was having mental problems. He thought the tongue piercing was a masochistic expression like cutting. He did not understand the deep seated desire that I had to get that piercing. He referred me to a counseling service at his church. I threw out the card he gave me and never went. I knew there was nothing wrong with me other than a little heartache, which I eventually got over.
There were more piercings in the future, and each time, my boss thought I was getting "crazier and crazier". To him, piercing yourself is no different than putting out cigarettes on your arm. I never told him about most of them, but word got around, since we knew a lot of the same people. Eventually he just plain stopped liking me as a human being. I know that from multiple sources, including his former accountant (also pierced and tattooed). Add to that the decline in the music industry (I won't get into that, but believe me, our sales suffered in the 2000's), and you have one grouchy boss. My boss chose to blame my "metal instability" as expressed in piercings for my sales slump.
Relations with my boss got worse and worse. We were civil, but I could hear the disdain in his voice. At meetings, my ideas tended to be ignored, shot down, and ridiculed. I blame his prejudice to piercings for all this nonsense. I printed out an article by Shannon Larratt about piercings in the workplace for him to read, and left it on his desk. It was promptly put into "file 13" (aka the recycling bin) without being read.
Eventually, he transferred me to another store in order to get my "head straight", and asked�no, ordered�me to remove my labret.
This transfer cost me money as I had to do about four times more driving in my work life. I was not compensated, and I had to put other aspects of my life on the back burner to make up for the lost money and time. In addition, the loss of my labret bothered me tremendously. I asked him if I could have a plastic retainer, and he said no.
I resolved to quit that job, and work somewhere else. Anywhere but retail, I decided. After a decade in retail, and working all those weekends and holidays, making no overtime (a violation of work code, I later learned), and being treated like crap, I decided to try something else. I decided to try to get into an office environment, possibly in a large bank or insurance company. I bought some nice shoes and clothes and started the interview process, but not before losing some more piercings.
I removed my nostril piercing and both lobes one night in January 2004. My tongue piercing could be hidden (despite the 4ga size), my septum could be flipped up, and I looked professional. However, with only 10 years of running a record store on my resume, nobody wanted to interview me. I got a couple interviews but was always edged out.
Finally, it hit the fan, and I gave my boss my notice on December 19 2005. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had (and still have) a mortgage to pay, bills every month, and worst of all, no new job lined up. I simply could not handle the abuse, being taken for granted, and working sometimes 3 weeks straight of 8 hour days...no breaks, by the way. I decided to call up a temp agency.
I have been working for the agency since January 2006, and having a fantastic time being treated like a human being. Most people in the office no nothing about most of my piercings. I have a 14g tragus piercing that I left in. Nobody has ever mentioned it. There is an accountant in our department with an eyebrow ring, so I figured this is pretty low-key. I left in my septum piercing, and a few people have spied the retainer. I get curious questions, but no reprimands.
I thought that I could maintain the status quo, piercing-wise, while building up my resume to secure permanent full-time employment in an office environment. I enjoy working in an office, and I am good at it. However, until I do secure permanent employment, I have to look a certain way. I keep applying to jobs and getting interviews, and I want to look to impress. I think that I do, and I don't think my tragus piercing hurts much.
As anyone who's worked for a temp agency knows, you don't make a lot of money. The agency takes something like 40% of my earnings, but at least I am working in a stress-free environment and learning a lot. I am treated with respect and nobody thinks I have "mental problems" because I have a piercing in my tragus and a couple tattoos. The obvious drawback, however, is that I have no spare change. Modding myself underneath the clothes is theoretically possible, but I have no cash in which to invest in new metal. I have heard it said that if you're truly into mods, cash does not matter. You will get the mods one way or another. I disagree. I would rather put food on my table, and look forward to some possible mods in the future. When I have a solid income, I see myself exploring tattoos further. Many office workers are tattooed under the shirt, and I look forward to that day.
Unfortunately, I have had to retire my favourite piercing since that time. A visit to the dentist (the first in quite some time, admittedly) revealed that I have some severe gum erosion. My dentist said that within a year's time I could recover that tissue, but the tongue piercing had to go. With sadness, I removed it. After a few hours I couldn't even slide a 14g into that 4g hole anymore. Another one bites the dust.
That one bothers me a lot. It was such a normal part of my existence. I miss the feeling of it in my mouth. I can't even stand to look at the barbell anymore. I don't like to look at anyone else's tongue piercings. They remind me of what's gone. It took a while to stretch that far. I was very proud of it.
I haven't had a new mod in two and a half years. I gradually felt like I no longer belonged in the body mod community. As I got older, life changed. I'm engaged now to an awesome girl, who actually has no piercings at all, not even her ears. Love knows no bounds. However, it also means I feel a little less connected to the community than I once felt when I dated people who were a part of it. Doesn't mean I would trade my fianc� away for anyone else, of course. She's curious about all sorts of mods and asks me numerous questions. However, my future mother in law has threatened castration if she ever shows up with a ring anywhere unusual, so I don't push anything on her! (I'm joking of course. Sort of.)
I feel very strange writing this today. I feel somewhat lost. I feel out of touch with my tattoo artist and piercer friends. I haven't had an occasion to visit them professionally in some time. I feel like an outsider, even though I am not treated like one.
My hope is that there is someone, somewhere, reading this who has experienced what I have, and they feel better about themselves. I also hope that once I have some extra income again, that I will be able to put some money back into mods. I have so many tattoo ideas that I would hardly know where to start. It's been really tough trying to find a good job. I thought that I'd be settled into something permanent now, but it's tough getting that resume read by people when you don't have a lot of experience in that field. I won't give up, and I'll keep temping if I have to, if it will give my resume some more credence. And I will continue to look as professional as I can as long as I have to. No crazy hair, minimal visible piercings, suit and tie. Whatever I need to do.
I feel down, but I do not yet feel out.