Ever since I was small, I can remember wanting to be modified. I always felt there was something different about me. At seven I gave myself full sleeves with a permanent marker and my mother was so mortified that she kept me home from school until she could get the marker off. Believe it or not, I've been working in shops since I was fourteen years old.
At A Glance Author Elisabeth Contact [email protected] IAM elisabethnara When N/A It all began when my school required us to do a work study placement. Of course, being the irresponsible fourteen-year-old that I was I waited until a day before I was supposed to have my placement to try and find somewhere. As a last resort I stopped into a shop in York where I frequently shopped and asked the owner if he'd take me on for two weeks of free labor. "We don't need a counter girl" he told me. I told him I was great with computers. He asked me if I knew my way around the Internet. Yes, I did. "All right, then" he said, and I started working a few weeks later.
I started my adventure in the modification world filing tax paperwork and messing with a rather rudimentary website the shop had. A few times people called in sick and I worked the counter, learning bits and pieces about piercings and body jewelry. I loved it. After my two weeks was up the owner asked me if I'd like to stay on for Saturdays. My parents weren't particularly pleased, but they let me stay on. I stayed for nearly five years.
During my time at the shop I began stretching my earlobes. As those things go, for most kids my age it wasn't a good idea, but because I worked in a shop I would buy a plug at 1mm increments and stretch very slowly. By the time I was a senior in high school I had gotten my ears to 1/2" and I was pretty proud of them. Another girl who hung out with my group of friends stretched her ears to try and make hers bigger than mine. Once I hit a 00 she told me that it was gross and she wasn't going any bigger- whatever. A few years ago I ran into that girl, who is now a dental hygienist and she exclaimed: "Oh my god! You still have your ears stretched! That trend is so played-out". I never even considered it to be a trend, I just found it aesthetically appealing.
I work in a shop now and watch as other artists express disdain for all the kids who come in looking for 'gauges'. I don't correct them any more. When they ask me how long it took me to get my ears to 1" I tell them it took ten years. Most of them look unimpressed. Like it's some sort of contest � who can stretch the fastest (at the most detriment to their bodies). I wonder what these kids will be thinking another ten years down the road. If my 'gauges' will truly be 'played-out' by then. Of the kids I grew up with in high school who stretched their ears and got pierced- I am the only one I am aware of that is still extensively modified. Most of them have white collar jobs and are starting families. They look like the 'normal' people they resented as teens.
I look at the youth who modify themselves now with the knowledge that in ten years, most of them will go the same way. For those people this is a trend, not a lifestyle. For me, I cannot imagine myself without my ears stretched or my sleeve (or the rest of my many tattoos for that matter). I don't do this for street cred, to rebel against my conservative parents, to look like someone else. I don't know why I do it- it's just something that has always been ingrained in me. I don't hold it against anyone who modifies themselves for the sake of a trend- I just believe they are misguided and I pity them- because it's going to be hard to reverse the stretched earlobes and the tattoos without expensive removal/surgical procedures.
I write this mostly to tell young people who are being modified now- where do you see yourself in ten years? For what reasons do you choose to modify your body? I don't discriminate against young people modifying themselves so long as it's for the right reasons. I was fourteen once, I understand the desire to be modified. The same goes to those working in shops who hold some kind of grudge against the new generation of modified individuals. Sure, many do this as a way to fit in, and those people may not be modified a few years down the road, but you can't judge them all, because some of them might end up being just like you. I remember the way older modified people looked at me when I was a teenager, I can't bring myself to make others feel the same way now that I'm older and more heavily modded.
I have never regretted my decision to become who I have become. It has made my life more difficult, made people look at me and assume that because of the way that I look that I am uneducated or worthless, stopped me from getting 'normal' jobs, and caused strain between myself and my family. Regardless of this, I am proud of my choices and am a more whole person because of them.
To all the young people who are just beginning their journey into this world and lifestyle, good luck.