It functions under many different names. Some people call it "piercing bug", others think it is a sort of craving; they say "tattoos are addictive" and this way help build yet another urban legend around body modification. Are those who think this way right or totally wrong? Is body modification really an addiction, forcing us to succumb to it when the infamous craving strikes once again?
At A Glance Author Ania Contact [email protected] IAM deadly pale When N/A Location Poland Human mind is a strange thing and it comes as no surprise that on a mental level one can get addicted to everything. Ever got the feeling that you just need to eat this last chocolate bar in your cupboard? Ever experienced money burning a hole in your pocket so big that even the biggest black hole out there in space was just nothing in comparison? Ever thought that it is just this one push-up more and you will call it a day? Obviously, a list of possible addictions is very long and body modification could find its place on it quite easily.
After all, it follows certain steps:
- So we have this infamous craving for some new work for some time now (which is relative � it may be a few days, months, it might be a few years even).
- We begin to experience a kind of withdrawal symptoms � we are getting sad after hearing that our friends either just got or are about to go for something new get done. We may even hit the bottom of depression and think how all others around are happy and modified and it is only us who cannot fulfill our wishes and secret desires.
- Then a good fortune smiles at us and our luck changes � somehow we managed to scrap some money, set an appointment and a waiting period begins. We are getting close to feeling euphoric but not quite there yet, aren't we?
- The Day approaches surprisingly fast and we become more and more giddy and excited � it is so close, within a reach and our spirit soars high.
- Finally we are allowed to take a well-deserved place at the shop of our choice and get what we wanted to get done. A few waves of adrenaline, then some endorphines, feeling so "high" with no drugs involved, feeling on the top of the world for once.
- A few days pass by, the healing process is almost finished (depends on a mod of our choice, of course) and things seem to get back on their old track. It was fun, right? It made us feel good.
- Hmmm... shouldn't we try it once more?
- So we have this infamous craving for some new work for some time now ...
There is a pattern here, isn't there? Maybe it really is an addiction? But being addicted means being dependant on something, being not free but rather enslaved. The modified seem to be the last people on Earth who would like to be called slaves, don't they?
There are certain "key words" or rather clich� words, meaning nothing after having been repeated so many times over and over again by so many people. If you try to repeat any word a few times, you will get the same feeling � a word, say, "apple" changes into gibberish all of a sudden. I dare to think that exactly the same thing happened to the way we perceive body modification � when focused so much on fashion, superficial search for something that was not lost but rather should be discovered, we started to repeat, with not much thinking involved, such words and phrases as "human canvas", "mental image of self", "addiction" and many others. The funny thing is that even though these words (and, what is more important, their meaning) became so overrated and trivial, they still hide something that might be true.
What, I think, really lies underneath clich�s and superficial phrases is freedom, liberation, self-affirmation. A streak of dangerous words that, when said aloud, sound cheesy and pathetic instead of proud and strong. But, I dare to think, that is the truth!
Our first time is usually filled with apprehension, anxiety, hesitation, uncertainty, fear and doubts. Not that much because of expected pain, I think, but rather because we are about to cross limits imposed on us by society. We do not go only for a cool looking piercing or a memorial tattoo but we are also going to decorate our bodies in a way that is, basically, not traditionally accepted in our culture (note: being raised in European culture I have this culture and aesthetics in mind here). No matter what mod we want to get at a given moment, it is not just a small piece of metal or an inch of ink under our skin; it is a moment of crossing some boundaries that were built deep within us in years of bringing us up, sending us to schools, having us read, hear, like this and not that. By means of the mods we transgress many of ideas we were taught to accept, stick to, value and respect.
European and subsequently North American culture were much more focused on mind and soul than on flesh. Flesh, anything carnal for that matter, was there to despise, humiliate, feel ashamed of, ignore; as someone who was raised a Catholic and who probably always will carry along this heavy burden of Catholic ideas and ways of perceiving the world and self, I am acutely aware of that. Now, when we managed to swing into a totally opposite direction and when our, getting more and more deprived of religious flavor, culture is focused more and more on flesh only, we begin to crave for anything mental, anything spiritual, hard to grasp and thus bringing us more satisfaction. Body modification is one of the answers for that but not in the form of pseudo-addiction.
I think that the key here really is transgression, overcoming the brain-washing processes we became victims of and trying to find (or rather, like I mentioned earlier, discovering) who we really are as individuals.
This first time, first mod, first decision and going for it is crucial! I bet all of us remember how we felt after our first piercing was performed on us or after our first tattoo was permanently "injected" under our skin. Elation caused not only by adrenaline but, above all, by the fact that there and then we could decide on our own what we want to look like, that we are not really stuck in the mortal shell God has graced us with and that we actually have a choice!
Body modification then can be not something to repeat over and over again to comply to peer pressure, to defy social standards or appease an addicted "beast" within. It is, I like to think, our own way to shape our bodies and minds, to � yes � defy but not the society but rather the Nature, to state that maybe we cannot change anatomical traits of our bodies but we still have a choice to do something about it.
It goes further than just that. One or two or a hundred mods is not only about slight changes on the surface of our bodies. We learn how to approach the pain and subsequent inconveniences, thus revoking the omnipresent in our culture conviction that pain is something bad, negative and should be avoided and pushed away as far as possible. By means of living with pain for some time (healing processes took some time after all) we learn about our own pain threshold and how we can face it. By means of modifying our bodies we learn more about our own aesthetics, as opposed to this more mainstream and generally accepted one, and how we react to those who do not accept our choices and decisions.
It is not any mythical or made up addiction that pushes us toward more and more unusual changes. It is about finding out that we actually can change our bodies the way we want to, that we are not really stuck with wide hips, short legs or fat arms but rather that we can change them into something positive, something beautiful (even if only we can notice beauty in the way we change), something that belongs only to us and changes generic limbs into unique pieces of flesh.
After one decision that could have been hard to make come many others and it is getting easier to decide further down the road. When we cross the line once, we become courageous enough to cross it again and again and again. The limits imposed on us long time ago, by religion, society, parents, school, disappear or become not that important. We can choose what to do, how to change ourselves on many levels, we come to discover that not everything around and in us is rigid and unchangeable. We are free to decide, choose and change!