The initial stage of any fascination pretty often involves "deification" of someone or something we feel fascinated by; if not a deification, then it is � to use a very Polish phrase � at least putting the subject/object of our fascination on a pedestal and approaching it almost on our knees. In case of body modification it involves so much � being convinced that our choices are right and, hopefully, driven by this mysterious inner desire we were, allegedly, born with; being so infatuated with people from the "industry"/ "scene" that it makes us blind to not only their humanity but also their obvious errors and mistakes (and these happen to everyone, no matter how good an "artist" can be); quite often, at this initial stage, we want to rub off some of this mysterious and rock star-like splendor of the people from the industry and start dreaming about becoming one of them. This is a dream with a soundtrack and many illusions � a loud rock music blasting in our ears and fleeting images we catch while being at the shops to create our own picture of this dream job.
At A Glance Author Ania Contact [email protected] IAM deadly pale When N/A Location Poland Enthusiasm and excitement play a big role at this initial stage. We're getting carried away by the adrenaline rush, by the desire to be a part of something that looks so great from the outside, by wishing to be one of those "beautiful and unique people" many of us do not see on every day basis. It is even easier to feel, imagine and create such illusions (because most of the time just illusions it is) with "tattoo reality shows" on TV � the artists shown on the TV screen can talk their heads away trying to show what a hard, responsible and tough work it actually is but hey, aren't they so hot and living such exciting, filled with partying lives after all? Somehow they are growing to the dimension of deities and we follow their "advice" and "expertise" almost religiously, even if we do not feel fully convinced.
And then, when the initial, fascination-focused stage wears off and if we were lucky to have grown a little and to have amassed some knowledge and experience on the subject, we have another problem to deal with � our trust in someone's, our artist's to be exact, artistic abilities. Nothing wrong with the trust itself � it is a great thing to have someone that is worth such feeling of ours � but the problem is that with trust may come laziness. If our artist is good, all we need to do to get a great/interesting/unique piece of art (be it a piercing project, tattoo, scarification or whatever else) is to have a vague idea and let them do all the rest. We still strive for being just ourselves and expressing our inner selves on our outside shell but what is actually our role in the process? Are we creative or are we created (by someone else)?
To some degree I have been tormented by this question ever since I trusted my body into others' hands. This "am I creative or am I created?" question was valid even when I played with DIY only but back then I did not pay enough attention to it.
Once one starts asking oneself this question, however, one begins to notice how broad and important to consider it actually is. Since we all live in the postmodern world, so used to the obvious "everything already happened and now we are only replaying and reshaping ideas, opinions, attitudes etc." stand, we do what we do best � getting everything we want right away, playing with fashion, self-image, self-expression; instant gratification at a minimal cost to become our true selves.
But what does it actually mean to be "our true selves"? Can we be totally original and absolutely unique while living here and now, constantly surrounded by people and pursuing our passions and interests? Nowadays one would have to try really hard to stay immune to the external influences, so maybe it is better to be actually aware of them?
The very beginning of the "(self)creation process" starts with us and how easily we can be influenced by others. It is not difficult as hundreds of masters of brainwashing work hard every day on convincing us that the products they sell are exactly the stuff we need and want. How many pairs of shoes do we have even if we are able to wear only one pair at a time? How many cosmetics, clothes, gadgets etc. are hidden in our living space and seldom used? So right in this aspect of our lives, who we are? Are we the ones we want to be or are we rather the ones others want us to be?
This is very broad, however, so let's get specific; let's move to body modification as this is supposed to be my main point, isn't it?
"The best tattoo art is a collaboration that melds a client's ideas with an artist's expertise." wrote Michelle Delio about the Flylite Crew in the newest Tattoo issue (Issue 222, February 2008.) I find this statement very true but I also see here the question I often think of. How much of collaboration such a process actually is? Where in a mod (not only a tattoo as it applies to all other modifications and choices, too) I can find a part of me and where I cannot help but see my artist's "collaboration" part? And if his part is bigger than mine is it still me in the modification I have just gotten done? Who creates what or whom here? Is it me creating this mythical "inner image" of mine or maybe I am created by someone else and I am just not aware of that as much as I should?
I have been thinking and playing with the thought of "being created" ever since I started getting my tattoos done although at first it was not that apparent � my first tattoo artists did not add enough of their own input to actually make me fully aware that it is quite possible to actually go for a modification and end with something I did not exactly have in mind at the beginning. My current artist proved to be a kind of master to me, though, and in many regards at that. He has taught, and still does teach, me a lot. He also showed me how "a collaboration of a client and an artist" may look. I bring ideas and he gives them shapes and colors. And yes, even though I am absolutely convinced that my tattoos still represent exactly what I am about, sometimes I do wonder how much of him is in my tattoos and if it is okay to wear the body art that is not as much as possible about me only.
Apparently it can be taken even further, though, as I could see it at a tattoo convention I attended back in May 2007. While being there I got a chance to talk to a few people about their own tattoos and was quite surprised to hear how there was actually not much or nothing at all of these people's personalities behind their tattoos - they gave their artists a free rein. Some of these people followed their artists' suggestions blindly as all they were concerned about was getting a tattoo done. No meaning behind, no personal story � pure aesthetics and coolness factor only. Is it wrong? None of us are here to judge as all of us choose what we think is best for us but is it still "a collaboration of a client and an artist"? Is it still something we can call "creating ourselves" or is it already "being created" although we still strive for being unique and expressing ourselves as much as possible?
Our artist's influence is something we always should take into consideration and, if we trust them, we even should follow them, providing these suggestions still keep our own ideas and meanings but there are many other factors we should keep in mind or become aware of.
Peer pressure is a quite important factor among (not only) young people. One does not have to look around for too long to notice it in experiences submitted to BME. I would even go farther and say that there are actually two sides of peer pressure � you either follow the trend ("all my friends have their navels pierced, so I wanted it, too!") or go against it ("it's a pretty unique piercing in my area and I'm so glad no one else has it! It's so cool, you know?") Either way, it is not only about what you want yourself but also what others around you either have or not. Thus to a certain degree we do create our image here but we are also created by the people around us � we are somewhat creative but are also created by something that either occurs quite often around us or does not occur at all.
Popular culture is another factor we should take into consideration while thinking about creating "the image we have always wanted to have" as, whether we want it or not, it is an inherent part of us. We were and still are raised on TV shows, certain types of music and aesthetics � we are constantly bombarded with news of things that are either "in" or so "out". Every day, while shopping, eating, dressing up, watching TV or visiting certain web sites, we un/consciously make choices what we find appealing and want to be a part of our lives. Obesity is out, being skinny is in; red is new black and we are worthy products A and not products B. We make choices but, when we come to really think of it, to a pretty big degree a really important choice has already been made and we did not take part in it!
Society, want it or not, still matters when it comes to choose what we do want to look like. Body language we create by means of our mods works in two directions, as Victoria Pitts points out in her book In the Flesh. A few people she interviewed for the book pointed out that "their body modification(s) are a symbolic affront to the mainstream authority" (p. 104) � the body language expressed by means of body modification through their eyes is about their personal freedom and expressing who they are and what they are after. Languages, however, are a tricky thing even when they are just "standard" foreign ones and even trickier when it comes to something so elusive and open for interpretations as a body language. Another facet of it is that "identities are not fixed essences to be discovered but rather processes of both reflection and interaction with others" (p. 84) � we can "write" on our bodies in many ways but our bodies can also be "read" in many ways, not necessarily those we meant!
I do admit openly here that I took the quotes out of their context and used them the way I found the most appropriate to make my point and it is quite possible that the author of the book meant them in an entirely different way but even if that is the case, it still shows my point � while living in the society (and all of us do it!) it is not only about who we are in our own eyes but also who we are in other people's eyes. Also here it is difficult to draw a line between being creative (to "make/build/invent" ourselves the way we ourselves want it) and being created (thus viewed, perceived, labeled etc.) by others around us. It is not only what we meant but also what others mean when and what they see or think or say about us.
In her book Victoria Pitts quotes many people she interviewed; one of them, described as Andrew, a body modification artist, lists not only his mods and briefly discusses the reasons behind them but also expresses a thought, so many others before and after him shared: "You get your body. It's the one thing you get to have still... you can be you. You can stay true to yourself." (p. 173)
We like his point of view, don't we? But maybe we should take a closer look at him and many others, related one way or another to the "industry." Andrew's (and many others') both a blessing and a curse is that he actually is a part of the "industry" � he is a body modification practitioner and thus he has more freedom in expressing himself. That is a blessing, isn't it? On the other hand, however, as a person directly involved in and dependant on the "industry" he is very limited by social expectations from his persona and the way he appears to people out there � from him it is expected to look this certain way (after all don't we feel more reassured when modified by a person who went through countless piercings and hours of tattooing?) What's more, since many body modification practitioners spend their time in their own circle (at least at work) and the shops are not always the busiest and there is always so many possibilities out there, does it not happen that now and then they do something just to outdo someone else? Or something just for the heck of it? ("hey, we're the freaks; let's get to do something freaky; just for the shock's value!") And then there are tattoo conventions, local events, buddies daring them to do something "wild". Still staying true to themselves? Does this job (that is a dream job for so many people from the outside) really allow you to stay true to yourself? No peer pressure? No people's expectations about their looks and behavior? Whatsoever?
But members of the various subcultures and online communities should not feel immune to this problem, either! If you are looking for a freedom of expression and if you happen to get interested in, say, the goth subculture, do you think your potential "friends" will accept you wearing yellow dresses and a daisy behind your ears? Think again! If you like heavy metal music and morbid climates, do you think it would be appropriate to wear polo shirts and flip-flops? Oh sure, it is doable but somehow no one really does it, so no one decides to be the first here, right? So again, basically we go for creating ourselves and feed ourselves with such slogans as "here I can be who I always wanted to be", "my friends give me the comfort to be who I really am!", "I can finally express myself" without even noticing that it is a double �edged sword � we may create our own persona but we do it by means of something that has already been used by many many others and even if we "create" ourselves", we are also "created" by those around us, those we hang out with, those we look at as role models or at least interesting etc.
It is certainly much easier to create our online persona than to do it in the real life but also here interaction occurs and before we even notice we are past the "being (only) creative" stage and deep into the "being created" one � there are certain trends to follow, certain things to post/upload on our profiles, certain things to do. Now, think carefully about your online life, think what counts the most for you on there; think what you do to "appear" interesting; think if you follow or do things others around in the online world do. Happens to all of us; let's just open our eyes for that!
Is there a way out? Is there a way to be truly unique, original and just yourself? I do not think so! We are made of everything that we experience, both in our everyday lives and by means of these breathtaking, mind-blowing moments that happen to us only now and then and other people play a crucial role here. I think that the only solution available to us is just using our brains more often and to a bigger degree than before; looking closer at everything happening both around and in us; being aware who shapes whom, how and what for.
Modifying means changing and thus challenging the set rules and ways of thinking and acting. But modifying should be a conscious choice and process therefore it is important to realize and be constantly aware of how active and creative a role we play in this process ourselves!
I do not think I exploited this subject fully! In fact, I do think I only touched its surface and poised many of the questions in a very shallow way. This subject, however, is not the one that can be explained and analyzed fully as it undergoes constant changes, along with us as we play the main roles here. It is something to question, think of and live with, knowing quite well that today's choices will be perceived differently in a few weeks/months/years.
Bibliography (of some sort):
Delio Michelle, Tattoo, Issue 222, February 2008
Pitts Victoria, In The Flesh. The Cultural Politics of Body Modification, Palgrave Macmillan 2003