At A Glance
Author	Cassiopaea
Contact	[email protected]
IAM	MistressNomad
When	N/A

I am publicly modified.

Not to any truly accomplished degree; I'm no Lizardman. But when I go outside in my typical street clothes, I have a few piercings, some of which are stretched, and at least part of a scarification piece on display. In the summer, some of my tattoos show as well.

I occasionally get stares, or random people asking me about it, and of course, when I meet someone new, it's always a conversation starter.

But nearly all of my mods are hidden at work and interviews.

A lot of BME's readers can relate to this, I'm sure. I frequently read about the sorrows of having to hide one's beautiful artwork at the old 9-to-5, because otherwise, no one would hire us at all.

The first time I had to hide my mods was when I was 16. I was applying for a reception job, and by that point I already had several piercings in my ears, the bottom lobes being slightly stretched. I wore my hair down at that interview, and every day for the several months I worked there. I knew I would be told to remove them or quit otherwise. But it was a fairly simple, minor sacrifice.

At 18, my earlobes are bigger, my nostril is pierced, I have a microdermal at the base of my throat, a tattoo that takes up most of my outer calf, and a scarification piece on my chest. And those are just the ones that show � plenty more is going on under my clothes. Hiding it all has gotten more complicated.

As a matter of fact, I am getting ready for an interview as we speak. My hair is down, and I am wearing solid plugs to help disguise the stretching (I have large earlobes anyway, so the distortion due to stretching has been very minimal so far). I am wearing a necklace, the pendant of which falls directly over my microdermal. I have my vest pinned shut a couple inches higher than normal to hide my scar. My nose wears the smallest nose screw I own. I am wearing long pants. And if I get this job. I will do this every day for the duration of my time there.

At office parties, or after-work runs to the pub, I will tie back my hair, wear a skirt, or a plunging neck line. My co-workers, and the whole wide world, is free to see, but on my terms.

I have plans for the future, too. A tattoo on my forearm, and white in work on both wrists. More stretching and a large upper back piece. Things will only get harder, but I will adjust, and I will sacrifice.

Many of you ask "why?" Why would I succumb to the will of such a close-minded society by hiding the things about me which I deem to be beautiful?

There's a very good reason, actually. Body modification is not the only rite in which I am atypical. I am also very much into BDSM. I have a committed Dom partner, whom I "play" with in some capacity, even just mental, nearly every day.

Sometimes he sends me out with a butt plug, or a clit clamp, or a corset, under my more demure clothes. Sometimes he gives me rules of speech or action to abide, or tasks to complete. But all of this must be done in secret; I can't let anyone know what is going on.

And something about that makes it even sexier. Something about the fact that I feel so alive, so free, so excited, while everyone around me is a drone, is a huge turn-on. It is a pleasure to keep my secret, because the rest of the world just doesn't deserve to know. I work hard at enjoying my life this much. If they don't value it, they have no right to it.

So, just like I wouldn't tell my co-workers that I'm wearing a chastity belt under my nice dress pants, why would I show them my beautiful chest piece?

What have they done to deserve to be in on my secret? Whether I show it to them or not, they would not understand what it means to me. They would not open their minds enough to accept that maybe this can be a form of art, and indeed, a form of completing oneself.

Instead, I save my breath. I wait for the people who are searching to expand themselves, who tell me that my work is unique, then tell me it's fascinating, and finally, after several minutes of taking it all in, tell me it's beautiful. Those are the people who deserve to be in on my secret. Not just to see me on the street, sporting something unusual or exotic, but to come up to me, to look, to love.

I am passionate about my mods as I am about my sex life. But I wait to expend the energy to express that passion until I have an audience who is willing to hear.

Hiding your modifications does not mean you are being silenced. It does not mean you are a hypocrite. Unless you want it to mean that. If you hide them in fear, in defeat, than that is exactly what it means.

But you can also hide them for a succulent secret, for a little piece of heaven to keep to yourself. You can hide them because they are so precious that they deserve to be protected. And then, you are not silenced. You are a real advocate of what body modification means to you.

Under all the clothing and jewelry and make-up, they are still there. Disguising them doesn't take them away from me. I can feel them there. Just like I can feel a chain running from my nipple ring to my navel piercing that my Dom placed there this morning.

It takes a lot of energy to be publicly modified. Save that energy for the people who deserve it. It's not about taking on everyone in the world. Focus on the few you can affect greatly, and they will always remember what body modification can be.

That is a real accomplishment.