Often walking around the hallways of my school, I'm stopped and asked 'Did that hurt?' I understand people's curiosity concerning my 14g snake bites, and that is the most common question. I don't mind it too much, and I respond honestly with 'Yeah.' I don't mind either to go into detail about my snake bites and exactly how much it hurt, the procedure, my 2g ear lobes and 14g helices, or my planned modifications, if the person just happens to be interested. I like talking about body modification.
At A Glance Author Zalixar Contact [email protected] When A year ago There are some people, however, who ask me 'Why did you do that?' to which I simply respond 'Because I like the way it looks.' In a sense, that's the true answer, but in a case where I'm given the chance to explain, I go into much more detail.
My fascination with body modification doesn't go back too far, in fact, it started around a year ago today.
I was very young when I'd admire my father's standard left ear lobe piercing, and I wanted one. Then, in fifth grade, I got my ear lobe pierced, and I loved it. I wore it every day for many years after. And then, in the summer of my freshman year of high school, I'd been hit by an urge of symmetry � I had to get the other one pierced, which I then got done.
Spring break of my sophomore year was when I first really started to visit BME, and I decided I wanted more piercings. My ears were no real big deal to my parents, so I decided to ask for two helices, one on each ear. I got what I wanted, and my mother even got her helices done as well. I also did my first stretch from 14g to 8g, which was very simple because of stretching from playing with my lobes.
So I was at the point where I wanted more, and I got my snake bites done. My mother was still in shock she let me get it done, but I had it done, and it's been a year, and I've not been bored since. I alternate jewelry all the time, and almost never wear my holes empty. Again, I had to get two to be symmetrical.
Where I stand now is 14g snake bites, two 14g helices, and 2g self-stretched ear lobes. But back to the question � why did I do it?
Growing up, mostly from eighth grade to the end of my freshman year, I was extremely overweight. Being 250lbs, it was probably quite obvious I didn't like myself very much. These feelings intensified as I hit puberty and began to get acne. I looked in the mirror and would wince and frown � I saw myself as ugly.
I don't know what I would have done during this time if it weren't for friends online, who I felt more comfortable with than anyone in person. My weight problems and hatred for my facial features caused serious emotional problems.
I don't know how I got attracted to body modification, as I didn't consider two 14g ear lobe piercings 'modification,' but I started to go to BME around the time of my first 8g stretch.
When I got my snake bites, I'd manage to lose a lot of weight, and I was around 195lbs at this time, and with these new piercings, I could finally smile at myself in the mirror. I also went to the dermatologist to fix my acne condition, and I was really clearing up. I was beginning to see myself differently, in a new light.
As the summer approached, I dropped down to 180lbs, with regular exercise and healthy eating. I got new jewelry for my all of my piercings, including my labret piercings, and I felt with each jewelry change I looked so different, and I did.
I was a quiet person before my additional ear and lip piercings, and I was really shy, too. When I looked at myself in the mirror every day, almost as an obsession, I began to see that I truly found beauty in myself; I loved myself.
And this realization marked a whole new chapter in my life. I was no longer the fat kid who was picked on, or the ugly, acne, self-conscious kid who no one talked to. I was a new person, who was full of confidence and a much better and social personality.
I found beauty in myself, and that's how I feel I am beautiful. If someone thinks they are beautiful, no matter how they look on the outside, then in my opinion, they are beautiful. If someone, however, thinks they are ugly, and decides to hate themselves, and make no choice to improve what they find wrong, then they will remain ugly until they do. Your body is the only thing you will always have between life and death, and you should do what you want with it, and respect your body, because if you no longer have a body, you have nothing at all.
I saw my flaws and admitted them to myself, and I did what it took to improve them, or try to. If you don't try, your chance to succeed is nonexistent. Through finding your flaws and admitting them, and trying to fix them, you'll become flawless.
Those who modify their body in any way see themselves in a certain way, and modify themselves to become what they want to be � what will make them see them as beautiful.
Although I don't consider myself 'heavily modified' with my piercings, I do believe that they all have had a substantial effect on my physical and mental appearance, and have made me love myself. That is why I stretched my ear lobes, had my labret and helices pierced, and plan for many future modifications.