I sit here, slightly lifeless, my tools for the career I have dedicated my life to mere dust collectors sitting in my tiny living room. I left college, a few classes away from an AFA to begin an apprenticeship in tattooing. I had always known that I was meant to serve; I just wasn't sure where life would lead me. As a strong believer in fate, I follow the tide. I wanted to provide to everyone and anyone the opportunity to experience what my modifications have done for me. Each new work that I get done brings me closer to the person I feel that I really am and expresses outwardly how I feel inside. This is why I am here, for you!
At A Glance Author Guilt of Eve Contact Guilt of [email protected] IAM Guilt of Eve When A year ago I was pretty particular in finding the right shop for me. Many shops in my area do apprenticeships anywhere from 3 weeks to 6 months, charge you the full 5-8 grand and send you on your way. Many of these poor naïve souls are tattooing out of their houses because no respectable shop would hire someone with minimal training in all aspects of the industry. Now, I'm not going to lie and say that I myself was not naïve, if I were smarter; I would not be in the predicament I am now.
I found a place that was pretty near to my home and very close to my day job where I was working in a group home for the severely mentally and physically handicapped. I found myself very fortunate to have the opportunity to do a fully legal NJ apprenticeship. Now, NJ is a very strict state for tattooing. You are required to do 2000 hrs, take blood borne pathogens (which I already had taken yearly for about 3 yrs at that point), and a slew of other very important obligations that I found out much after the fact. But I was convinced, the place was like a Dr's office, the boss seemed very professional and was a member of the NJ Board of Health, and had even pushed issues for laws on only one apprenticeship at a time since shops I mentioned earlier would take as many people as possible in and out and take the money.
I was on top of the mother- fucking world! I was closer to my dream, had gone about it in the right way, the boss was very understanding that I wanted to keep my day job, and my uncle agreed to co-sign on a loan for me for the $8,000. I was also very fortunate to become very good friends with the boss's other employees. The girl, we'll call her 32 for now, was an apprentice and had just gotten to skin. She was a very skilled artist and had a BFA from a great art school in VA where she was from. The piercer, who I will name xxx, and I also became friends. Super Pals! We should have gotten rings to combine forces.
I traced, filled in and whip shaded all on paper for what seemed like decades. I made transfers until my hands bled. I learned to make needles, and eventually learned to do some piercings too. This was all part of the learning experience, but it was also very frustrating. My "master" would go for weeks without checking my homework; he would be too tired or just didn't feel like it. He hated the way I drew because it wasn't photo realistic or biker style eagles, wolves, or feather armbands. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but that's not everyone's bag. I am a bit more whimsical. I like color washes and designs strategically made to fit a particular part of the body. Not that he wasn't a talented tattoo artist but he had found his niche back in the 80's and had stopped learning, he had become stagnant in an ever expanding industry. He had flash on his table from 1982... the year I was born... 26 years ago...yeah.
It had gotten to the point where all the things I admired about the man when I started had become everything I hated about him. The parts of the shop that looked like a Dr's office were the parts that the customers saw. The sterilizing room/ kitchen/ transfer making room was only super cleaned when the state would come through which he breezed through due to being a member of the Board of Health and friend of the inspection man. We were also not allowed to hang any artwork up. A back room, which was to be mine, was a storage room for books, old furniture, and broken chairs. The boss was only professional for the first month and then became a grumpy old biker dude that owned a failing business and had emotionally died years ago.
32, xxx, and I pretty much spent our days watching TV or getting huffed at until the boss fell asleep behind the desk, usually around 6p. No one was coming anyway. The three of us talked about how things could be but I wanted to stick it out. No one was going to take this from me. I was determined and have always been a loyal dog.
Finally the day came when the boss said I was ready to try out the machine, I think I peed myself a bit. It had all been worth it! He handed me a grapefruit and I drew a little design (a lady bug for luck) and I went at it. He was pretty impressed and I got perhaps my 3rd compliment from him in what had been about a yr and ½ at that point. I did about 6 fruits until I was ready for my first real customer! My dad was the first; I did the Chinese characters for honor on his forearm. It was a life altering experience and I will never forget my taste of success and pure joy. I had made it and was very proud of myself.
Things started to pretty much go back to the way they were again after that but I didn't care. I was more determined than ever. I did a few simple pieces very well so we moved onto Cherry Creek flash. For about 8 months, I was only allowed to do roses and eagles. Not flowers and birds, roses and eagles specifically. This was no easy feat trying to convince someone to get these out of date pieces so I think I did about 5 pieces in that time period. It was very frustrating but it paid off because one day the boss says I'm ready to be off of apprentice status and be a paid artist. I think collectively I had done about 15 pieces. The back room that I mentioned earlier needed a big cleaning. I told him I would be more than happy to come in any day any time to help and do most of the hauling myself. His response was it'll have to wait, because on weekends, the only time he would be available, was when he goes to his lake house so I can work 1 day a week when 32 if off and use her r oom. I swallowed my anger...hard.
Xxx had left to get a real people job since he did about 1 piercing a week and wanted to get an apartment so it was just 32 and I for a while. Then one day, we had a new apprentice. The boss told us he didn't tell us so we didn't get jealous. ???. We'll call him, Phat. I got to watch him go through all the things that I went through, it made me sad but made me realize how either strong or submissive I can be. It didn't last for long, though. One responsibility I would no longer have to do thanks to Phat was I would be relieved of needle making which 32 was happy to pass off to me. I taught him how to make singles at first and I would continue to make the rest until the next lesson. I had made a whole lot of needles a few months before Phat arrived and hadn't made more in quite some time. We realized something was amiss. We decided to perform an experiment. We inconspicuously marked used needles about to be dismantled and a week later found them in his drawer ready to be used on the next person. I was heartbroken, I didn't think it would come to this but here was the proof right before our very eyes. After the boss had left that night, we packed up all our things and went home. The next day, we wrote a resignation letter, and left our keys on his table. We called OSHA and the Board of Health. OSHA told us it wasn't their jurisdiction and Health said they couldn't believe that he would do something like that but they'll send someone down to check it out. That's right, the friend that always does inspections came... nothing happened. So 32, Phat, and I were without a shop and feeling very badly. We decided that since we were equally as passionate, determined, and all had completely different styles, we, as a team, would use our talents and make things right, our own way. To be continued...