Fun Emails, Part 12

They just don't stop, so until the world gets less funny, this column will continue.

You're SICK! (and other generally rude emails)

From: Tom Locke <[email protected]>
Subject: Why??
What would drive a person to put there on body through such toture.. I was not looking at this site but came in while it was up .. And I am tottally confused from the Pics i saw.. Wouldn't suicide be less painful ?? Because to me it would seem that they have total disregaurd to there body and personnal appereance..

From: Mark and Sonja Lewis <[email protected]>
u r all fucking sick

From: "More" <[email protected]>
Subject: heal yourself
I just want to say what I think: You people are sick.. abnormal and you need a doctors help... like you said :"its real life" - no it isnt its patology.. and no normal person will do it.. believe me.. cause maybe you ve gone too far The worst thing is that you decribe some of the vidoes as the highest quality- ???
cutting a cock or filling a ball with a shit or maybe splitting your fucking tongue - you call this "high quality" what quality? its patology as i said...
go to the doctor and maybe you too can be a normal person and maybe you will enjoy the real pleasures of this life... just think about yourself and about what you are interested in...
-disguisted

This next person sent an email saying that their password didn't work, and asked that we fix it. They included no contact information, and the email address was not in our files as a subscriber. So we asked them for their user name or some other way to identify them, and this is the response we got:

goto hell and i will report you to aol

Greed (send me free stuff)

From: <[email protected]>
I think it is retarded to have to pay for this bullshit so please send me the video of finger amputation

From: "casha123" <[email protected]>
hi
I want to see a video:>

Could these next two be more vague?

From: <[email protected]>
Subject: info
I would like more info if you have it. Rick

From: <[email protected]>
im wondering if you can send me some pics of some different tatoos. they dont need to be any specific type just a variety. thanks.

Silly Questions

From: Sarah Lash
Subject: a ? about tounge piercing.
Hi,
I want to get my tongue pierced but my parents don't allow. one of my friends told my dad that if you get your tongue pierced you will have to get it surgically removed. If you know whether or not this is true could you please email me back with the answer!
sara

From: Surebob
Subject: tongue piercing
hey- i want 2 get my tongue pierced, but my cousin told me that if u do, it slowly kills the muscles in ur tongue so when u get old, u kant talk. i want 2 know if this is true cuz i really want it, but i still want 2 talk when i get old 2. thanx

There are probably a half million people with pierced tongues. Don't you think you would have heard if they were getting their tongues surgically removed? Don't you think that if they started losing their speach you'd hear about it?

From: Jerri Kerner
Subject: piercing?
ok the first thing I want to know is r you a professional? OK Tomarrow I am ganna pierce my nipple on my own. Now is there any kind of like diseases I can get from diong this like breast cancer or something? How long about does it take to heal? Can you give me the cons on Nipple Piercing before I do it?

People don't seem to realize that BME contains something other than just an email address to send these poorly written questions to... There are FAQs that answer almost all of these questions, as well as thousands of experiences!

From: John Szyszka
Subject: hi
r u the one with the tounge peircing? i was thinking about getting my eyebrow done and i wondered what all is involved with that. if you can e-mail me at my account my address is gwenivere_11@*** thanks! :)
jeanett

Again, same answer (and that's a bizarre first sentance).

Stupid Questions

From: Phil Lightwood-Jones
Dear Shannon
I have read recently that according to the Ayrvedic teachings that having a nostril pierced can put the wearer in an induced psychological state of submissiveness. Is this true? It certainly puts me off having my nose pierced.
BB Michelle

Um... NO.

From: EzPstar59
Subject: Re: eyebrow piercing
iwas gonna get it on the left but my friend told me that thats the side where gay pepole get it pierced, i was just wondering if that was a rumor or if he dosent know what hes talking about

First, your friend is an idiot. Second, who cares if people think you're one of those "gay people"?

From: Shai Bitton
Subject: Lovely Womans - Plz Details
Everytime when you update this great site I come in and cheak EVERYWHERE for the great photos and stories, this time I saw a PERFECT WOMAN and I wanted to get her story and E-mail adress plz she's on: etc. etc. etc.
And your answer was....
"Not going to happen!
And I must ask you.... WHY ?
If I find someone I like, why can't I get details on her ?
PLEASE REPLY !

BME is not a pick up bar. Girls -- don't worry, I won't be giving out your personal info to kooks!

From: DESTLONDON
Subject: tongue rings
hi my name is lenny slade and i had my tongue pierced almost a year ago (august 24 (my 16th bday). and in late december my doctor MADE me take it out bc i was losing taste buds and it could get a lot worse. is that true that it could get a lot worse and i could lose my tongue or parts of it??? could it be fatal? it was pierced w/a 10gauge and i must admit that while changing the different barbells i didnt take as much care as i should have...could that be the reason for the loss of taste buds? since it has been out the taste buds came back and went away again. also i get these big burn-looking marks on my tongue and they hurt. could that be bc of the piercing? could u get cancer from it? (thats what my dentist says) and finally, if i get it pierced again will the same thing happen?
thank you for ur time

No, No, No, No, No, and No.

From: Kadabra61
Subject: Hi, a quick question
This concerns the people that do the penectomy procedure (where they remove the penis), how do they urinate after the procedure is over and the penis is gone?

Why do people simply not think about it before asking? Obviously if the penis is removed they will pee from the base where the urethra now ends.

From: OneMagic <[email protected]>
Subject: Copyright infringement
I noticed while downloading a pic of yours from newsgroups that you very emphatically said that 'Copyright will be protected and damages sought for infringemnet undes USC.. blah blah .. ' ... perhaps you should have thought of that before stealing the image that you present on the pictures from the rock band Journey ? I will not infringe on your rights to publish pics, but be aware that Sony Music and Columbia Records corp has gotten the same email ...
cheers

(email #2)
this pic.. the logo in the low left .. is a replica of the album cover from Journey 'Frontiers'.. and no .. not a prank at all .. actually just trying to inform you ...
cheers...

Oh, come on! The journey albumn cover does not even vaguely resemble the BME logo! Nice of you to forward this to Sony and Columbia, I'm sure they've realized like I did that you have rabies.

The Chat Room

From: Brandon Wood
Subject: A Question About the Chat
Hi Shannon,
I was using your chat room for the first time tonight, and was attacked for being gay by a person calling there self shorty. Is this chat service for only straight people? When I defended my self, I was disconected, and unable to get back on. Is this the rule, "no fag's" as I was told by your other chatter's? I wouldn't think BME would allow such behavior, even though it is not you responability to police what your members thing, but I would think all mod fan's would be welcome. Please let me know what the deal is with this, because I would love to get to know some nice people of all gender, regardless of who they like to sleep with.
Thanks,
Brandon Wood

Obviously the chat room has no such policy. As a general rule, don't believe anything that anyone in any chat room tells you!

From: WaTeRdR1fT
Subject: help!!!!!
this is what i did....i signed up for that chat thing where i had to put to type my password a sn and my e-mail address,... i thought that it was for free but when i went into the room someone said that it wasn't so i didn't ask my parents and...will there be a cost?? please i might get in trouble?? i dont want that thing no more...write back asap!!!!!!! thanks....i love your sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 Renee

The chat rooms on BME are free -- anyway, unless you give me your credit card info, how could I bill you?

Weird Stuff

From: tal pilkinton
Subject: grammer snafu.
Hey,
I love your e-zine. It is the best body art site on the net. However that isn't what I am writing about. In your tattoo section, you have a picture of two octopuses that is labeled "octopi". This is a misnomer. Octopus is not a word like fungus which is pluralized with an "i". Those words are Latin based and use the Latin nomnitave plural endings. However, octopus is composed of two Greek words. Octa means eight, and pus means foot. This means that the plural of octopus is "octopoda". This is only used when referring to more than one species of octopus, when referring to two or more of the same species you would say "octopuses" or simply "octopus". Thank you for your time. Like i said earlier, your page is the best. keep up the good work and learn the differance between Latin and Greek suffixes.
Sincerely,
Mississippi's only pierced and tatooed male ballet dancer,
A.K.A. Tal Pilkinton

OK, I'm the one that's wrong this time!

From: Sean Arnold
Subject: Tattoo Pix
bmezine,
Great site,very useful articles and pictures. Speaking of pictures, I came across a tattoo that I am interested in having inked on myself.
What is the procedure here? What do I need to do to be able to use this tattoo legally, so the artist gets credit etc..
Please let me know.
Thanks for your time.
Sean

Well, there aren't any major legal issues for this type of use, I think it might fall under "fair use" should someone actually decide to sue. However, do you really want to be the guy that spends his life walking around with a tattoo that says you're so unoriginal that you had to copy someone else's design? Better to take the design you like to a good tattoo artist and personalize it.

From: VULTURE17A
i have served our great country for 8 long and hard years, im a 29 year old mexican male who was in the army special forces.what i would like to say is i love the shit out of your websites.sites like these make me proud that freedom of speech is out there alive and kicking, it makes me feel real proud to know that i wasnt just wasting my time kicking or feeding some poor somalian or wasting my time with iraqis. i served my country well, it it shows with websites like yours. only in america

Well, BME is Canadian, but I suppose it's good to get the support!

From: Erecka Conley
i like to have sex with my boyfriend alot

BME is racist?

From: "NkengeZ" <[email protected]>
Subject: No Blacks in Body Mod
I've perused your site and others relating to body modification, especially piercing, and I've noticed that the vast majority of sites are dominated by Whites with White images. There are basically no pictures of Blacks with piercings or tattoos, and I see brothas and sistas with these everyday. What gives?

These sites are quick to make references to piercing and tattooing done by the ancient Egytians (or citizens of Kemet) and by various African tribes but almost nothing is said about the piercing practices of African Americans or "modern" Africans of the diaspora. For example, it seems that piercing children seems to be less of a big deal with many Western Blacks than with Western Whites. Many Blacks have their babies' ears pierced (One site basically called this child abuse. Very Eurocentric ["White"] of them to tell us ig'nant darkies what's good for us while excusing whatever Whites do as self-expression). I've read tons of piercing stories from what I assume to be Whites talking about having to beg parents to get a simple earlobe pierce. At the age these folks were begging, I, and many other Black girls, had had our earlobes pierced serveral years before with very little fanfare, much less begging and cajoling.

Whatever focus on Blacks there seems to be lies in the obsession with the "Negro as primitive/noble savage" stereotype. Is the body mod movement, like other predominantly White ones, only interested in controlling and limiting Black images (in this case to that of noble savage put on earth to teach and liberate Whites from their "repressive" civilization [more Blacks-as-tools-for-Whites paradigm] instead having to deal with Blacks who live in more modern conditions, who may actually have computers and Net access and are not the backwards primitives that White culture so loves to romanticize)? Are you not getting any picture/story submissions from Blacks? Perhaps they percieve your sites as "not for them" basically because they see no sign of themselves on them. Are there not enough Blacks with more extreme body mods for a typical site to be interested in? Maybe that's because Blacks don't have to get myriad piercings or facial tattoos or dye their hair green in order to get negative attention and shock value. Believe me, leaving the house Black is enough to do all that. Also, Blacks cannot really afford such self-expression as the society already judges us negatively for being Black. We are discriminated against on GP. We don't need to add eyebrow and nose rings (though many of us have them) in order to get negative treatment. We don't get the "benefit of the doubt" that Whites automatically get. We have way less of a margin of error in this society (American)so we may be more wary of taking on more extreme body mods, including simple piercings and tats.

Your site, as do many body mod sites, talk about how anti-discrimination it is, how welcoming it is to all. Well, that's a bit hard for me as a Black woman to believe when all I see are White folks, White folks and more White folks and nothing of myself. I wonder if these peeps are so open-minded then why can't their minds seem to emcompass the idea of tatted and pierced Negroes.

Just my thoughts.


When you make these statements, please don't make the common mistake that piercing and body modification is historically a "Black thing". It's not, not even vaguely. EVERY SINGLE RACE AND CULTURE practised body modification at some point in their history; many still do, Indian, Chinese, South American, African, etc.

I have received virtually no submissions from blacks, including this woman that's complaining that I have no black content. There is nothing I can do about that. In all my time doing BME (5 years) I have *never* been contacted by anyone identifying themselves as Black (either by text or photo) about extreme body mods. Never.

As far as your implication that the reason that Black's don't get body modifications because they are already are ostrasized enough by there appearance -- If you really believe that then you don't have a concept of what body modification is about. It's not about getting negative attention; it's about being who you want to be. Don't forget too that most of the mods BME deals with are behind clothing and have zero impact on what the public thinks.

History tells us that this instinct to self-decorate is a similarity that we all share as human beings.

Bad Experiences

People send me messed up experiences all the time, I suppose hoping that I won't read them, and will just send them a free membership...

Title: dick cut
Alias: dick
Email: [email protected]
Artist: Penismaster
Studio: cocksuckers
Location: Pecker,ID
NumWords: 869
I cut my dick off.

The end for now...


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