Part VII

Goddam it never stops. Let's get started... Here are a couple from new users:

From: dhannah
Subject: adult
what is this site about

From: KCLinMI
Subject: Subscription to BME
Shannon,
I am interested in subscribing to BME. Is there a catalog you could send to my home? My name is K**** L***. My address is *** * *******, Ferndale, Michigan, *****. Thank you.

From: MBCCT5
Subject: BME
FILL NOT FOUND.SEND PICS PLEASE NEW LEANER.NEED IDEERS

dhanna: If you want to know what the site is about, read it!
KCLinMI: Is there anything on the site that suggests to you that I have a mailout catalog, or are you just looking for free stuff?
MBCCT5: Looks like your cat has walking on your keyboard while you weren't looking.

I got a big kick out of this next one:

From: Cainner007
Subject: The new setup
I do not like the new set up of the awesome sight at all! I think that the old one provided a more 'safe' place to go and look at piercings of your choice and not having to see things you do not like to see, such as pocketing. Thank you, Jenna.

Folks, if you don't like something, don't look. I'm not about to hide it away in some dark corner of BME just because it might freak out someone that prefers just to look at navels.

If I want to complain about people not reading the site before firing off an email, here are a couple that top it off:

From: secagent
Subject: TATTOOS
WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED AND WHAT IS YOUR POLICY FOR A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD TO GET A TATTOO. WHAT IS THE AGE LIMIT WITH A PARENTAL CONSENT. PLEASE WRITE BACK WITH HOURS OF OPERATION AND LOCATION AND PHONE NUMBER.
THANK YOU,
GAYLE C******

From: Qcajun
Subject: (no subject)
Please may i have a catalog for your body piercing jewelry
Frankie's Jewelry
PO Box ***
Marrero, La ****

To both of you, what have I done to convince you I have a retail business of this sort? Or have you sent out this email hundreds of times and I'm just one of the lucky ones that received it?

This next person's scam amused me a great deal. He's trying to get me to send him free videos. Now, the videos that BME carries are not appropriate for public showing, not even at a medical museum -- they're extremely hardcore to put it lightly.

From: "Juris S."
Subject: proposal for cooperation
I am representative of medical museum in Riga and now working on the project: "Extreme body decoration".
     [snip]
For that reason, I need a free copy of your videotapes.
Best regards,
Juris S****, MD, PhD

I also get lots of mail from people who appear be both bored and often borderline insane. I'm told that people who put their email addresses on experiences get lots of this as well. It's a strange sort of personalized SPAM I suppose.

From: [email protected]
Subject: yuck?
you're sick

From: "Humphries"
be my lover/ mongoose

From: "Micke"
Subject: hi
fuck

From: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
write back

The best ones though are always the honest questions. No question is a dumb question, but lots of them sure are weird.

Subject: Have a question.
Hello...First off, I realy enjoy your web site. Probably the best I've seen. I am realy interested in the Prince Albert. I have been thinking about it for several months. At first the thought of all the blood bothered me, but I think I am over that now. But, I have a question, I thought maybe you could help me with. My problem now is, I live with my parents. And if they suspect that I've pierced my penis, they would throw me out to the curb. I guess what I'm asking for is some advice on how to keep from them that I have a ring in my penis. = ) Thank you for your time..and I hope you have some suggestions. If not... thats ok.

The answer: DON'T SHOW YOUR PARENTS YOUR PENIS!

Bye for now.