As you know, every six months or so I like to publish my more amusing, more hateful, and more idiot letters to the editor so every can share in the laugh. Here we go again, in no particular order. Some letters have been edited for brevity.

This first guy seems to think that all the play piercing and nailing is permanent:

From: "john thomas" <[email protected]>
Subject: a couple questions...

...i saw these pictures of like guys with toothbrushes up their dickholes, and their nutsacks nailed to planks of wood. Why the hell would anyone want to have their goddam nutsack nailed to a goddam piece of wood?!? it looks pretty painful, and it'd be kinda hard to walk around with a piece of wood in your pants, so im asking, why do these people do these things?

Here's someone who doesn't seem to be able to separate their own motivations from the influence of the media. Too much TV as a kid I suppose:

From: Cindicakes <[email protected]>
Subject: ampallang

I got an ampallang 9 days ago.
I never thought it was nasty , agressive yes, but not nasty.
Then I looked at some of the pictures on this site----these look so freaky that I am almost ashamed to have mine. ...I don't think I will ever feel the same about it again. Those pictures instead of inspiring thoughts of accessorized beauty, inspired thoughts and feelings like nasty, tastless, gross mutilation, too freaky (plain freaky is OK) shame, embarrasement, scummy, dirty, mental illness and mental disorders.
Sorry to be so agressive. I am just a bit jaded now.
If you want to reply I'm at [email protected]. later,
     The FReaky TWeaker

Some people have NO common sense:

From: Amanda <[email protected]>
Subject: HELP!

My friend is freaking me out! I had my belly button pierced today..She said people die from this!!!! Is this true???!
Thanks,
Amanda

I'm almost 100% sure this is SPAM, and I think a lot of people got it, but it's funny nonetheless (among other things I have no kids):

Subject: Please Read

Hello, my name is Andy. I know where you live and I know where your kids sleep. If you dont call me within 24 hours im going to kill your kids. my phone number is 864-833-****.
P.S. This is NOT a joke.

I sent this next person an email letting them know what their new password was when I switched over to the new user/billing system. I don't know if they didn't read the mail, or what, but they did get upset:

From: Boone B.

The subject of your message was misleading and the return address was not complete. It is spam under state law, in my opinion.
Any further email messages to me will result in a complaint being filed with the Washington State Attorney General.

I guess they don't plan on logging on again! This next guy is just generally upset, probably at just about everything:

From: [email protected]
Subject: [none specified]

THATS THE WORST WEBSITE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.CHANGE IT YOU BARLEY HAVE ANY PEOPLE MAN.YOUR WEB SITE IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT MAN .

Perhaps this person is to be mailing out to multiple sysadmins of sites that she thinks are sick:

From: "Leslie Leffler" <[email protected]>
Cc: <[email protected]>
Subject: sick-o

you are some sick-ass muther -fuckers!!!!!!!

A couple of my more common "oh-gross" type letters:

From: [email protected] (Tess)
Subject: ummm

Ummm why? This is so fucking nasty. Why do people do this nasty crazy shit? uhhhh, so gross

From: "Shane McDonald" <[email protected]

why in the fuck?

This next one would make me feel dirty if I cared. What a sleaze:

From: "William A. Jackson" <[email protected]>
Subject: vaginal pierceing

I have 2 questions for you . 1 Is your pierced 2 would you send me pictures of vaginal pierceing. I feel that it is sexy for the vagina to be pierced . signed William

Finally, an only slightly less sleazy, but equally stupid version of the above:

From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Nice Ass Face

How many pictures of you are on this site. Most importantly, who is the hot monkey looking girl on your homepage? I want some hot stuff sent to me and my friend at [email protected]... Please send as much hard core samples as possibles.
With serious interest,
Mikey and Gary

Keep that mail coming! Until next time,

Shannon
[email protected]