WHAT TYPE OF PERSON ARE YOU? IS HARD FOR YOU TO MAKE FRIENDS
BEING SO UNIQUE?
I have always been a combination of introverted and extroverted
-- I love meeting people and social settings, but cherish my
private time and space as well... I am a very driven Type A
personality, if you haven't figured that out already.
OUTSIDE OF YOUR OBVIOUS ECCENTRICITIES, YOU SEEM LIKE AN
INTELLIGENT, STABLE, WELL-EDUCATED, AND WELL-SPOKEN MAN.
Thank you. I hold a Pre-Med. B.Sc. majoring in Fine Art (medical
illustration), with a minor in Biology. My Masters degree
focused on life drawing, oil painting, and mechanical sculpture,
and was followed by a Ph.D. in Engineering Design. I also hold a
DLJ in literary journalism. My amputations had no affect
whatsoever on my schooling, partially because I was essentially
out of school before the biggies were done, and also because I
have never allowed my amputations to be a hindrance to me.
My favorite book is the Bible -- it is the most incredible book
ever written and I taught myself Biblical Hebrew and Greek to be
able to read it in the languages in which it was originally
written... My interest is both religious and scholarly. However,
I should point out that there is no religious component to my
body modifications.
YOU'RE QUITE THE RENAISSANCE MAN.
Yes, I do consider myself a Renaissance Man. Marcel DuChamp,
said: "The role of the artist is a selector of materials and
techniques"... I consider myself, above all other occupations,
an artist, and to a certain degree my body is the material, and
modification is the technique....
I hold copyrights on lots of things from two fictional novels
(one a historical novel of the American Southwest called "The
Treasure of Marble Canyon" and the other a romance novel called:
"Val and Protea") to dozens of designs and articles, including
writing for New Yorker and Travel and Leisure magazines... I
also have patents on racecar front suspensions and some
prosthetic hardware. I am presently working on an anatomical,
lightweight, artificial foot, and clutch lock knee design for
leg braces. On designing amputee hardware, who better to design
it than a user? My philosophy: "Form follows Function."
I am both self-employed and have a 9 to 5, but most of my
working life I have been self-employed... actually, for more
than twenty years...
* * *
DID YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS EVER WONDER WHY YOU KEPT SHOWING UP
WITH LESS AND LESS BODY PARTS?
I managed to explain away the amputations and never had any
probing questions asked nor have I ever received any psychiatric
questioning, as everything was always carefully planned to avoid
those kinds of questions. My arm I tell people was lost in wood
chipper accident, and in actual racing car accident resulting in
a gasoline explosion, I unexpectedly (but not unhappily) lost my
leg. A vague "accident related complications" explanation
umbrellas the rest. I am skin grafted from waist to ankles --
well, ankle now -- I suppose people just assume I'm very
accident-prone! Of course, being accident-prone is neither a
crime nor a treatable psychiatric disease...
Surprisingly, I do all of the things I did before, including
riding my Harleys, with modified clutch lever, and back
packing... I have stopped doing nothing I enjoyed... As far as
back packing and similar activities go, I have a very good leg
prosthesis, and can hike all day without discomfort. In fact, on
my 9 to 5 I spend most of the day on my feet...
Unfortunately my 3,000 bottle wine cellar and my 17 Ferraris
went the way of the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune as
William Shakespeare would say -- This was not related in any way
to the amputations though... I've been rich and poor a couple of
times. Mae West was right -- rich is better. I've made it before
and I can make it again. I look forward to more wine and more
Ferraris, and have no fear of making money...
* * *
DO YOU REMEMBER ANY EARLY CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES THAT MIGHT HAVE
STARTED THE INTEREST IN AMPUTATION?
Motivation for the bod-mod is from internal wiring I believe,
not outside influence -- the first amputees I ever had contact
with scared me and made me uncomfortable. A one-armed
schoolteacher friend of my parents terrified me. Seeing the
schoolteacher made me directly confront my personal desires
which were there from early childhood, long before sex was a
component. The fact that I had these desires for so long negates
for me anyway the assumption that these are purely sexual issues
-- though as an adult there is of course a sexual component to
body modification... which I enjoy...
TELL ME ABOUT REMOVING YOUR OWN HAND.
I began with my fingers in my my 20's, and when in my 30's I
designed and built a guillotine device -- a vertical frame of
two-by-fours, with concrete block weights on the bottom and
three concrete blocks which could drop about four feet inside
the frame, striking a razor sharp ice spud when a prop was
pulled. Very effective: I tested it on a broom handle first... I
had no doubt it would work, and as you can see, I no longer have
a hand.
ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR MODIFICATIONS?
I like all of my amputations and love my stumps, regardless of
origin... I also like using my prostheses. However I do not feel
the process modification is totally completed for me at this
time. I do not believe that I suffer from dysmorphophobia. While
I am in a state of transformation, my body is an evolving work
of art, which at some point will be definitive.
I really admire other people's feet, but not necessarily my own,
and I think that area is in transition too. I'm not satisfied
totally with the look of my right foot; it seems undefined to me
somehow... just musing... By the way, the scars you see on my
foot are from "exploratory surgery".
The genital thing is relatively new, and I think that has become
a new area of exploration. I don't think I want to complete the
castration, but maybe have my remaining testicle buried and
scrotum removed, and a urethral relocation to complete the body
modification in this area. I think I'll find a practitioner to
do this -- Although I probably could, I'd rather not do this to
myself.
HOW CAN A PERSON TELL IF THEY REALLY "NEED" AN ELECTIVE
AMPUTATION?
That is a very difficult question. Let's approach it from
several perspectives. If you are into amputation from a body
modification point of view, you are probably looking for one or
more of the following: a personal statement, an antisocial
statement, or group identification. All of which are determined
by a desired "look". The look is the driving factor here, not
the "need" for an amputation. These are probably going to be
small limb (finger and toe) amputations rather than major. They
have cosmetic value, but unless they are numerous probably don't
carry much functional loss. Category two is the "wannabe", and
amputation is the focus, usually major, and usually with a site-
specific amputation in mind as: LBE, etc.. Very, very few
wannabes actually make the transition to major amputees, as most
only fantasize the amputation as a desired thing, but actually
don't have a true understanding of what it is to be an amputee,
nor do they have the required mental, and physical determination
to safely get there...
Someone who really needs to be an amputee will probably actually
become a major limb amputee. Bill S. who manages the
wannabe mailing list on the Internet says he knows 6, and he
feels there may be as few as 50 or 60 major limb voluntary
amputees in the world. I think his estimate is low, but I also
believe him to be an expert on the subject.
I am absolutely sure you are wired for amputation in the same
way as in sexual preference issues... And it is as surely
applicable and valid an explanation as it is for the other
community. I have no more choice to love amputations than a
homosexual does to love men. In neither case is it wrong: it is
simply the way we are.
DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS ABOUT YOUR LIFESTYLE?
I have really never met anyone else with as diverse a range of
modifications as myself. I was also into genital piercing (all
self-done) and tattoos -- I have two tattoos, one good sized
shoulder piece... Unfortunately, they were difficult for me to
get at the time I was exploring them. If I hadn't had to drive
150 miles for them I might have gotten many more. Since I am an
artist, I have often thought of getting the equipment and doing
myself... which I may....
For me the experiences have all been very positive, the only
negative has been no one to share the experiences, or results
with, who understands the idea of the process, and could or
would be participatory or supportive. Perhaps a woman with
similar drives and interests will read this and contact me,
though this may be nearly impossible...
I would not change who I am in any way; however, I have ended up
with a LBK and RAK which were not in the original equation. On
the day to day, it's a pain in the blank -- just getting into
and out of the tub is difficult. You have to take your legs off
to change your pants, driving problems -- there are a million
things you either never think about prior to making the
transition, or that you think won't be a problem, but will turn
out to be a major obstacle. Also, there is no predicting the
outcome of surgery. You can end up with edema or phantom pain
that can make prosthetic fitting impossible and wheelchair or
crutch use mandatory, which may not have been in your original
plan. Now you have to do this for the rest of your life.
Prosthetic and ambulatory devices are expensive -- my new RAK
leg is 15,000.00 -- and typically your insurance company will
only buy you one in your lifetime. Five years from now when you
need a new one, where are you going to get the money? It is not
just the amputation that you have to be in love with, but it is
the whole dynamic of being an amputee that you need to embrace.
