Cao: Growing up kinky in Borneo [BME/News

Cao: Growing up kinky in Borneo
A suit-wearing professional explores genital modification

Cao is a friend of mine that grew up and still lives in Borneo where he has a “normal” professional career. You’d never guess — but that’s almost always the case — that under his pants his genitals have gone through a series of modifications, and that he’s had a fetish for them since he was young. This interview is an excerpt from my upcoming book, but I wanted to print it now because I heard a recent Jim Ward interview in which he opined that piercing had moved from the sexual arena into the aesthetic, which made me think of many older friends like Cao who are still very much motivated purely by their sexual eccentricities.

Although the face of body piercing is certainly very visibly aesthetic, I still think his story will feel very familiar to many readers…

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Shannon: Tell me a bit about yourself…

Cao: I am half a century old this year and was born on the island where the ampallang was said to be first originated — Borneo. I grew up on the island, but did stay overseas during my student life. At that time, body mod was not that popular or I would have gotten many done at the time.

Shannon: Can I ask what you do for a living?

Cao: I am a professional, and in our society it is still not acceptable to have visible body mods for man of my age. Yes, for youngsters it’s OK, but not for a professional like me or a man of my age. I am married and only my wife knows about my body mod — hahaha!

Shannon: Did you see piercing on the island when you were growing up?

Cao: I was born here in Borneo, but am not from the indigenous group. However, I was living near the natives who have a lot of cultural practices such as genital piercing (the ampallang), ear piercing with stretching, and large body tattoos for both men and women. These days, only the older generation still have the traditional ones.

When we were in secondary school, we went to the museum and someone pointed out the ampallang piercing in an exhibit, but it only struck me as an amusement and a tale of old times. We had a good laugh but I never thought of getting one. However, as I grew older, it did stick in my mind what a good thing it would be to have one. Later, during my working life I had the real chance to travel to the interior part of the island and I got to know a little more about this piercing. Most of the old men had them.

Shannon: Were you able to talk to the older men about them?

Cao: It was quite difficult to talk to the older men about genital piercing as it was considered to be very private. I could usually only talk to them about the visual mods — the the ear, nose, and the body tattoos. Missionary works had changed a lot of their culture. As I mentioned earlier, there was a generation gap in these practices. If you were to go to the age group between thirty-five to sixty, you would not find any modifications because during that time people stopped doing and having modifications due to the missionaries… So to see it we had to go to the villages where the old folks were. In the towns or cities these days you will find young people going to a studio for tattoos or piercings but most of them will get “modern” piercings like the labret or just earlobe piercings… not like what their ancestors have. I reckon this is because of the influence of the media. I’m not sure whether some of them have ampallangs — the ampallang was traditionally a sign of courage and manhood.

Shannon: Was your first modification an ampallang, or did you start with other things?

Cao: My first body mod was my circumcision, and after the first one my remaining foreskin stretched, and it grew back a couple of centimeters. After several years I went for a second one. Then it was quite nice and tight on full erection.

After that came the thought of an implant. I first had three pearls implanted on the top side of the shaft, and added a nice big black pearl a few months later. A year later I had two pearls implanted on the underside, but they were not done properly, and I retired them. My skin was quite sensitive and could not accept the stitches, so the holes just opened up and I just had to press the pearls out. I am still contemplating having a few new ones done on the underside.

Shannon: Other than the ampallangs in Borneo, how did you discover genital piercing?

Cao: I only got to know about genital piercing when I saw a picture of a naked man full of genital piercings in 1999 — I could not believe it! Then a chat pal introduced me to the BME site. Ohhhh, that was an eye opener! Ideas started to come into my mind — I felt a stream of excitement that flowed through my body. What a feeling it would be to have mine pierced!

It took me a long time to actually pierce myself and get my PA, and it was not that successful on the first few trials. I did not have the correct equipment or jewelry to do it with. It was only after the third or fourth time that I had a nice PA — I ordered everything on the ’net. Unfortunately it migrated and was only supported by a thin piece of skin. When I showed it to a pal, his advice was to cut it and have a meatotomy.

Cao’s meatotomy: procedure photo, freshly done, and healed.

Shannon: Why did you do the piercing yourself?

Cao: I chose to do the piercing DIY after I tried to contact “Primitive Art” in Singapore for an appointment and the piercer was not able to offer what I wanted; a reverse PA. As I said, I didn’t get it right the first few times, but I learned a fair bit — you know, at the time it never even occurred to me that a piercing could migrate! Many of my DIY piercings have been a failure, and I think now I’ve finally learned my lesson?

Shannon: Hahaha, ok, tell me about the first procedure you ever did on yourself…

Cao: I went to a pharmacy and got the biggest hypo needle I could — I was so excited to try it out. I didn’t have any proper jewelry, so to satisfy my ego, I tried with the needle and with a copper wire, after boiling them in water for twenty minutes. I sat on the toilet seat with the cover down, and with the needle in my hand, I tried to line it up into the receiving tube. Blood started to ooze out and I panicked, withdrawing the needle and giving it a hard compression. The bleeding stopped after a few minutes. I tried again — my hands were shaking, and it was hard to control. But, with determination, I gave a quick and hard push and the needle went all the way through… I held my breath… well, it wasn’t that painful. Then what to do next? I pulled out the needle and tried to insert the wire, but blood was everywhere and I couldn’t figure out where to insert it. I knew it was a failure and I abandoned the whole procedure.

Shannon: But eventually you figured it out?

Cao: Yes, after reading experiences and seeing how others did it I managed to do a 10ga PA, although I walked around with a twisted piece of wire in it for a few weeks. I was proud of it, but it looked awful, and I worried how long could I put up with it. I would not be able to have sex with my wife like that, so I was very happy when a curved barbell came in the mail.

Cao’s latest PA piercing.

Shannon: What made you want the circumcision and the beading?

Cao: Friends talked about things like circumcision and pearling — how would a girl respond to these? Ohhhh, as a youngster then though, it was real a challenge to get them. There was no studio that would carry out all these body mods. Circumcision usually was done by doctors or medical assistants, and pearling was also done by the medical assistants. There was no information then for doing it yourself — the Internet was not in existence, and there were no magazines or even pals to ask.

Shannon: So you got the circumcision as an adult?

Cao: Yes, although everyone talked about being circumcised in school — to have clean genitals, to have the ultimate sensation, and so on. So I was was interested in having a circumcision as a teen, but never had the opportunity until I turned twenty-five. Here, circumcision is performed by a doctor or a hospital medical assistant, and luckily is a very common practice because of religion (Islam).

I went for it after a few guys in college who had theirs done showed them off and boasted how great it was — they helped me arrange getting it done. I always overstretch my foreskin during masturbation which caused it to bleed — I noticed that just after healing, it was a nice new sensation. I have been very happy with my circumcision, although I know there are guys who want to have their foreskins back.

Shannon: Do things feel different now that you’re circumcised?

Cao: With the rim, my feeling is different. I usually will only use my glans for the initial play without pushing in the whole thing. When my wife starts to apply pressure, I then insert the whole thing and get the maximum feeling. But the circumcision didn’t give me all the feeling I was looking for and I wanted to get an implant as well.

Shannon: Tell me about it?

Cao: I have one big pearling which will usually moves around and that gives the ultimate feeling. A male nurse did it for me. I went with a friend, and when it was my turn — I went first — he put a cloth with a hole over my dick. It kept getting hard and he had to apply pressure quite a few times to get it down. After injecting a local anesthetic, he cut a hole with a scalpel, and had to try a few times before he got it right — in my mind, I worried he had not done many of these! After the pearls were in he stitched them up.

Shannon: When you say “pearls”, do you mean that literally?

Cao: Yes, mine are real pearls — as you know, in Asia, pearls are very common (I reckon people in Japan also use pearl for the implants). I had to go to a shop that sells pearls and bought those without the hole in them.

Shannon: Were any of your implants DIY?

Cao: Almost… I made a homemade taper by sanding a chopstick down to size. I boiled it along with some pearls and needles. I made a piercing with an 8ga needle and then started to push through the taper. It started to hurt as I had to push it harder and it stretched. But then I started to wonder if I would have the skill to get the bead in… I had come so far, I couldn’t give up, but the bead kept slipping off. The bead wouldn’t go in and blood was oozing out like anything. I tried again but still couldn’t get it in and eventually gave up.

The bleeding continued for a few days, and when I had sex next — about a week later — the wound opened up and started bleeding again quite badly! I’m telling you this because I would not want anyone else to have the same experience… if you really want to, do it at your own risk. For me, the next time I went to a professional!

The crown implants were done much later. I had an opportunity to visit Canada and got in touch with a piercer — I told him through e-mail that I wanted to have a piercing done as soon as I arrived there. I wanted an apadravya so badly. I went to the studio that afternoon after I arrived, expecting to have it done then and there, but he only gave me an inspection. On seeing my PA, he advised me to have a meatotomy and get a deep PA together with a reverse PA. I was not too willing to let go of my PA, and as he did not have the jewelry, he would only be able to do the piercing a week later. With the anxiety of waiting there for a week, a few days later I decided to get implants instead — mostly the fear of being pierced through the glans made me chicken out! He agreed to do the implants and suggested the crown placement.

I love it, and in hindsight should have gone at least half way around. These implants were done with silicon beads, and he ensured they would be very stable and I’ve had no problems with them. When I returned, whoa, it was a hard experience with my wife! The circumference of the crown had increased and I had a hard time trying to enter, hahahaha! But now I have developed a technique of entering her sideways…

Cao’s reverse PA piercing (and crown implants).
L-R: Needle in, bleeding during procedure, ring in place, and later removed.

Shannon: Does your wife like your piercings?

Cao: After I got my first PA, my wife was not too happy or excited about it. I wanted to have sex with the jewelry, but she was too scared. Fear overcame the excitement and the enjoyment part. I had to take out the jewelry each time. Since I have the jewelry stretched to 8ga, the piercing hole has stayed quite permanent. I could leave the piercing without the jewelry for a long time.

Shannon: And the implants?

Cao: Before I got married, I already had the initial implants, so she had no complaints about it. She never said anything how she likes or dislikes them, but I reckon she loves their presence, hahahaha.

When I first got my implants done, and it came for the time to see how good they were with sex, I met a girl willing to play with my modification — she really enjoyed it! We made love two times in a row that night. But I had to be very careful in getting other girls to make love, as not all of them liked the idea of being with a modified guy. I did get a few rejections, but that was fifteen years back.

Shannon: Thanks for talking to us! Any last advice to others?

Cao: If you like DIY like me, do good research before you embark on it!

Shannon Larratt
BME.com